Gransnet forums

Estrangement

Loose of step grandchildren when relationship ends

(8 Posts)
David49 Sat 09-Nov-24 07:47:09

Babs03

Yes is sad Cambsnan, but couldn’t your daughter, who was their stepmum for 8 years, contact their father and try to work out some kind of contact with the children, if only via FT/Zoom, but hopefully in person, then you could see them with your daughter. If he refuses or the children’s mother refuses is their call, but your daughter could try again later or you could try to talk to the father. If he cares about the children’s relationship with you he might try to find a way.
Unfortunately you don’t have any rights so if the father or mother do refuse, cherish your memories and try to get on with your life and things you enjoy doing. It isn’t the result you want but sometimes we have to live with things we can’t change 😣

It would be nice to have a perfect world but when couples part there is usually a good deal of acrimony, step GP are going to be at the end of the line for priority. In a great many cases natural GPs have problems maintaining contact.

Luminance Fri 08-Nov-24 19:07:58

I hope you get to see them again

DamaskRose Fri 08-Nov-24 16:05:21

This happened to my friend and she was heartbroken. I hope you can work something out Cambsnan.

Allsorts Fri 08-Nov-24 16:01:22

I can understand you missing them, i bet your daughter does too. Maybe she might get contact so you can see them.

Babs03 Fri 08-Nov-24 13:24:20

Yes is sad Cambsnan, but couldn’t your daughter, who was their stepmum for 8 years, contact their father and try to work out some kind of contact with the children, if only via FT/Zoom, but hopefully in person, then you could see them with your daughter. If he refuses or the children’s mother refuses is their call, but your daughter could try again later or you could try to talk to the father. If he cares about the children’s relationship with you he might try to find a way.
Unfortunately you don’t have any rights so if the father or mother do refuse, cherish your memories and try to get on with your life and things you enjoy doing. It isn’t the result you want but sometimes we have to live with things we can’t change 😣

pascal30 Fri 08-Nov-24 12:44:23

I suppose it rather depends how the relationship ended with their father and your daughter.. If it was amicable then maybe you could ask him if he would let you send them a little present for Christmas and birthdays.. then if it's still important to you in the future perhaps they might contact you themselves.. but life moves on so try not to be disappointed if this is not possible.. the important thing is that they will have good memories of you..

Debbi58 Fri 08-Nov-24 12:43:49

I can empathise with you , my daughter had a 4 year relationship with a man who had a daughter, she was around 5 at the time . She spent alot of time at our house , as she was the same age , as one of our granddaughter's. When the relationship finished, both my daughter and me were upset about no longer seeing her . It must of been hard for her as well , suddenly not seeing us . We were lucky though, the girls mother contacted my daughter a few months later because the little girl was asking to see us . We still see her on the odd occasion, she's a teenager now .

Cambsnan Fri 08-Nov-24 12:34:22

My daughter was in a relationship with a man who had 2 children. They were together for 8 years and we treated the children like grandchildren. They were very young when the relationship started. We have now lost them as the relationship ended. We obviously had no relationship directly with their mother and they are too young for us to maintain contact direct. I just feel a little sad that I might never see them again.