I thought it might be a lovely thing going in to the new year tomorrow, for those who are maybe newly estranged to hear stories of successful reconciliations, and maybe even how they were achieved.
How did I get there? For myself, & as I have said before, after 4 years being estranged from my son, we were finally reconciled after a lot of soul-searching on my part, swallowing my pride & having an unflinching look at myself & my past mistakes. I saw a counsellor, was completely honest with her & myself & learned a lot about myself & why I acted as I did. I was finally willing to listen & think back over what my son had been saying to me and to recognise that I had got some things horribly wrong and had caused a lot of upset. I wrote them a long letter, apologising unreservedly and promising that I would do things very differently given the chance. When I first became a grandmother, a dear friend said jokingly that his only tip for grandparenthood would be to "keep your mouth shut & your wallet open". The second bit is debatable, but I wish I had done the first bit right from the start. I have learned my lesson, and have just spent the most wonderful Christmas period with my son, his wife, & my 3 grandchildren - that is priceless and worth every effort I made to get there.
I have always said to my children "if you change nothing, nothing will change" and I am so, so glad that I decided to change things - to listen, admit I was wrong, and move forward.
Can anyone else offer stories of hope from their successful reconciliations to others?
