Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

Pleased you are back on track Diamond Lily, 💐

Sparkly these are on iPlayer
This beautiful fantastic
Cold comfort farm
Gosford park
Hattie
The history boys
The jackal good but might be to violent
Porridge
Some like it hot
Whisky galore a modern version but very good.
Kids films which I love
Book of life
Early man
Revolting rhymes
Secret life of pets 2
All Wallace and Gromitt
Whale and the snail
Gruffalo
Gruffalo child
Mr Stink
Will look at other channels but to tired after today .

Babs03 thank you, I will watch those films.

Allsorts I have feeders that only small birds can access. It keeps the crows and pigeons off.
My feeders feed about 20 - 30 small birds a day, this time of year on fat balls from the RSPB and sunflower hearts from Amazon in a sack. My feeders are at 6 feet so my cats can’t get them.

Thank you Allsorts for the film recommendations.

Whiff thank you for your list too.

Good morning everyone!

Morning everyone.

Well seeing your post was a very welcome surprise DL . So good to see you, it's been a while and funnily enough I was thinking about you the other day.

You've had such a difficult time so it's good to hear that you're finally getting your mojo back.

Despite his heart murmer, our vet's recommended our little poddle has his teeth cleaned Yogin . His teeth aren't great despite Mr. S. cleaning them almost daily but his gums are unaffected.

We've been quoted just shy of £1000!!! to cover the clean and any possible extractions. He'll have his gums checked in the summer with his annual health check and if they say again that his gums are OK, we'll leave it.

He's due for another heart scan in 5 months and that's £250 without anesthetic, but it's not the cost that bothers us, like you it's the risks that are always there when they're sedated.

With so many appointments to keep track of and attend and your busy life Whiff, I'm amazed you ever have time to watch all of those films and tv programmes .

Hope you're feeling a bit better Allsorts .

That's just the sort of photo we need Sparkly on these dull and cold days.

How's the decluttering and decision making about what you'll be taking to your new home going Babs? Hopefully better than me trying to persuade Mr. S. to part with his book case .

'Happy Valentines Day' everyone. Lovely card from Mr. S. to his Beautiful Wife, given to me before I'd showered and got dressed so not so beautiful .

Whiff quick thinking re; Joey as a baby Kangaroo

Sparkly I've read all of Liane Moriary's books, they have put a couple into TV dramas and a film. One was on recently called: 'Big Little Lies' Same as her books they do start slowly, but stay with it because the twists and turns are amazing and then everything ties in in the end. Her mind is amazing, how she thinks all those things up I don't know. I'm near the end of my latest book from her, you cannot second guess the endings!

Smileless happy to provide cheerful photographs, thank you.

BBC Radio 4 Woman’s Hour, a feature on Grandparenting in this mornings show, 10 am to 11 am.

Sparkly love the sunflower, I must grow some at the back of my garden, I know the birds love them.

Smiles Yes, it's the general anesthetic I don't want Joey to have and they give this when they do their teeth. I remember how ill my little Lilly was after she had a lump removed from her leg. I requested no GA, but when I picked her up, they said they had to!

DL good to see your post and hear how you are doing; that you have turned a corner and feeling more positive and happier. You know the best lessons in life are learnt at the hardest of times.

Allsorts me too re encourage the wrong type of birds; lots of pigeons! I only read light hearted books and films the same, enough violence on the news, which I now avoid!

I'm going to see 'Voodoo room: A Night of Hendrix, Clapton & Cream' tonight. Did make a bit of a mistake when my friend emailed and asked if I fancied going. I thought it was because, at the time, I couldn't see anything at the Theatre that I wanted to see, so said OK, as thought I needed to stop procrastinating and choose. After the tickets were bought, I then realised it was another sperate event. Hope it's not to roudy , wouldn't have wanted to go normally.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Glad to see you back DL, its so tough what you have been through last few years.
Sparkly, I loose myself in books, always have. My ultimate cheer up light hearted books are Bill Bryson, love his dry wit, also like autobiographies but has to be someone whom I like.
Yoga, you are certainly enjoying yourself, you always seem out seeing groups and friends which is fantastic. Hope your upstairs neighbour is being more considerate. I have squirrel proof bird feeders but the squirrels here have a degree in solving any puzzle, within a day they are in.
Smileless, I think unless my animals teeth were not causing distress I would leave well alone.

@Smiles and Yogi I know how distressing coming round from an anaesthetic can be for a dog, we had that when one of ours got a growth in his mouth that was benign but caused trouble eating so we had to do it, but if you don’t have to do it then would give it the swerve.
Been feeling ropy, sore throat, runny nose, headache and a temp. Not sure what it is but am trying to rest up and taking painkillers.
Will probs not make it to dental surgery appointment tues if still like this but hoping it clears up super quick.
@Allsorts I also like Bryson, and Smiles glad Mr S gave you such a lovely card, Mr B is making dinner but feel too ill to eat much so could be a bit of a damp squib.
Take care all.
🌺🙏🏾

@Yogi Your night out sounds like a lot of guitar riffs, could be a bit loud but imagine it will be a trip down memory lane. I never liked Hendrix but did like Cream.
Hope you enjoy it 🌺🙏🏾

Allsorts I'll take a look at Bryson when purchasing my next book, Liane Moriarty has a new book just out, but only in hardback and expensive, I'll try to hold off till it's published in soft back. Normally I prefere female authers. I love my suirrels in the garden, they are so funny and as you say they will get that food you put out, by hook or by crook! Trying to get Joey to love them too or at least not scare them off

Babs I really enjoyed the concert, I was surprised I did. We had a table right at the front! Didn't get home till gone midnight, in bed by 12.45

Babs, Get well soon.💐
Yoga, have you read jo Jo Moyes, I have just read Giver of Stars. Excellent. I like reading about strong women.
At the moment reading Santa Montifiore book but there's so many characters, plus Wycliffe.

Well, am out for the count, am hoping isn't covid again, could just be another virus, Mr B doing the cooking, not sure whether this is covid so have lost my taste buds or the food has no flavour. Could be the latter. But he is trying his best. Bless.
Glad you enjoyed the concert Yogi, sometimes it is good to go out on a limb, things can surprise you, in a good way of course.
Thanks for get well wishes Allsorts.
Was watching reruns of Bread on the telly, and it struck me how common it was at one time for the mother, especially in the North, to be the matriarch of the family. I was brought up with several strong women like this. Alan Bennett shares his experiences of being brought up by similar women.
Nowadays I imagine the grown children would estrange from such mothers, calling them manipulative, overbearing, or creating a toxic environment, and some might have been all of these things though not many estranged from them, others just tried their best to keep the family together in hard times and did this by being strong/fierce.
Times change, sometimes for the better, other times not.
We may critisize this generation, as their generation probably critisized the generation before, indeed our ACs may think that their way is the right way, just as we did back in our day, until their ACs critisize them, and with estrangement increasingly seen as par for the course I wouldn't put money on them spending their old age with their ACs and GCs gathered round them.
We reap what we sow.

I don't think I could have done things differently. I think people used to put up with a lot of things as a duty. These days everything is out there on the internet, everything is talked about, women are more assertive, men more in touch with their feelings and that's a good thing. I did my best and loved my children most mothers do and I don't deserve to have been discarded like rubbish. Most of the people I know have a good relationships with their children and definitely have not been treated as I have.

Hope you feel a bit better today Babs.x

babs wish you better.

No you didn't deserve being treated so badly Allsorts. We all know how you feel as we have all been treated in the same bad/cruel way.

Off to teach my Yoga this morning, then pick up my GDs for lunch and Sunday dinner, will be driving them back around 8pm, unless there is a change in the plans.

Have a nice Sunday everyone, looking bright and sunny at the moment.

Thanks everyone, a bad night but am sitting up in bed having breakfast, not really hungry but will nibble a bit of toast.
Unsurprisingly other members of the family are now out for the count too. So I know where I got it from 🫣
The question ‘why?’ Will always haunt us Allsorts. It is a very well trodden path. Tbh I wonder if our ACs can even remember or accurately recall why it happened. Am not sure if they even think about it. I think they have moved on from anger or hatred or whatever they felt once to indifference.
Only we still think about it and try to figure it out. But life’s too short, they are living their lives, we have to live ours.
I hope you are able to get about a bit better now.
Take care 🌺🙏🏾

I will be back but a friend sent this to me as she said thought of me . Told her she was a cheeky monkey 🐒

Afternoon everyone.

So pleased you enjoyed the concert Yogin, it's funny isn't it how we often enjoy more the things we're not particularly looking forward too.

Sorry you're feeling so unwell Babs . I loved 'Bread' but it wasn't the same when they replaced Joey and Aveline; She is a tart still makes me laugh .

I agree with what you say that today strong women will often be referred too as controlling, overbearing and manipulative and those are often the 'reasons' given for them being estranged.

I hope you're right that our EAC have moved on from anger or hatred, but when I've read some of the posts I've seen over the years here on GN, and been told about some of the comments posted on Reddit I do wonder, because there's a lot of hatred and anger directed at EP's from some EAC simply because they're been estranged.

We don't think we could have done things differently Allsorts unless it would have been possible to have never got things wrong but no one can ever possibly claim to do that can they? .

Oooh Whiff she is a cheeky monkey isn't she .

DiamondLily you went through hell not just the lead up to your darling husband's death,but all the hassle from his children and you had MissD to content with. Then all the court proceedings it's no wonder you lost your mojo as you call it.

The grief of your husband dieing is bone crushing. You lost half of yourself when he died like me and all others here who's other half of themselves died. It's been 21 years for me and I am still only half a person . But the rage and anger I still feel over my husband dieing gets me through everyday. I call the first 10 years as early grief . As in my own experience it took me that long to get used to it .

You had been together a long time and the longer you are a couple the longer it takes to get used to this is your life . But as I had said many times grief is the heavy price we pay for finding the other half of ourselves and together you made a whole.

There is a thread on the chat forum think it was put on Valentine's day how many times have you been in love . Sadly some people said never . I know my own nephew has never been in love he's 37 this year and he doesn't expect to ever be . He has dated but says he's better off on his own .

All you have had to cope with and supporting you family through one crisis after another has taken its told on you physically and mentally plus your grief it's a lot of anyone to cope with on your own . But Mr DL would be proud of you as you have never given up .

I know as I get older my body is putting limits on what I can do and still shout at my husband for dieing and leaving me. Not about our son anymore stopped that in 2023 but now it's when I can't open something stupid things like that or I lose my balance and end up on the floor in my bungalow or at a weird angle on furniture . Or going mad because I can't find where I put my glasses then have to get out my spare pair to find them. 🤦😂.

My mom lost some hair after dad died but it came back not as thick but it was a lovely silver grey. She lost 3st and never gain it back . She was tying a knot in her knickers to hold them up as she said they where still wearable. I brought her new knickers and we when through all her clothes and with a fight she brought new clothes .

Glad to hear you are doing something. You don't have to be crafty to find something you enjoy. I only took up cross stitch not knowing I would become addicted to it as stress relief . Looking after my mom and mother in law was taking a heavy toll and reading wasn't relaxing me . So I brought £2 kit off Amazon and was hooked.