Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

Whiff Only got vibrations from upstairs WM once. They don't have a car, they normally put stuff in their back garden, so can't understand why they have just left it right in the middle of the drive . They didn't ask me to wrap the mattress in plastic, I remember in my last house they asked me to do that, leaving one for me, hope they take it, that's why I've kept it in till the night before and hope it doesn't rain.

2 lovely little robins and 2 blue tits and my white dove in my garden, making me feel happy

Allsorts he is the one I find not so friendly, she is very friendly and we get on well. She is very busy though with 3 C and working full time, even does overtime at the w/e. She said to me; ^ what to do; go to work or stay home and look after the C.....hmm...work lol^

Smiles you are doing well with all your new items for your new home, sure it looks fabulous! I love Kingfishers too.
As I said up-post I did mention to him upstairs, but realise there is no point talking to him. If I see her before Thursday evening, when we must put my double mattress out for council collection, I will mention to her, she is normally very good. Otherwise, I will move it and say I had to, to get the mattress over to the fence side for collection Friday morning.

Babs what a good idea

Sparkly love the picture the cats eyes made me laugh.

Yogin would have thought your daughter could have just picked the children up from yours early the next morning as the children will be tired and grumpy having to go home late at night . But as we all know we have to follow the rules out children set for their children like we did for ours when young .

It's a pity you can't get little wellies for dogs it's a wonder no one has invented them or have they 🤔.

Sorry you are having vibrations from the washing machine upstairs it must be very annoying. My ex sister in law my brother's second wife had the washing machine and tumble dryer on everyday . As soon as the children got a mark on their clothes she changed them could be 6 times a day . In the 22 years they where together she had 5 new washing machines and 3 tumble dryers . Me on the other hand as long as the children's hands and face where clean for meals they had clean clothes on each day . If they got dirty or marked it didn't matter only change if we where going out . Some stains never came but still put them in them to play in . They grew out of clothes fast enough. Pity children's clothes weren't as cheap as they are nowadays. My daughter never sends my grandson to nursery in good clothes as he always comes back covered in his lunch and dirt if they have been outside . He came home with a moustache of dirt few weeks back . Sent me pics it was funny a 4 year old with a moustache .

Why don't they take the pushchair to the tip as surely they have other things that need going . When I arranged for the council to take away a old king size mattress it had to be wrapped in plastic as they wouldn't take anything that was wet. My son in law helped me wrap it and put in against my wall the night before collection . It was £10 but that covered 3 items but I only had one but it was worth the £10 they came at 6am for it .

Babs home your knees and hips are feeling better. Brilliant news about your sale and having your offer accepted on the bungalow. The bungalow was meant to be yours. Fingers and toes crossed everything will go through . Once contracts exchanged then you can relax and hopefully completion date not long after . Hopefully your buyer and seller wants everything done quickly and they push their solicitors,estate agents and mortgage providers if they need one. Plus you keeping in top of your solicitor.

Don't know if you had already decluttering . When I did mine I packed boxes of things I wouldn't need until I moved . As I was doing it myself. Even though my sale fell through twice I still got rid of things and packed . Luckily they keep the bungalow for me . The well known charities would fetch boxes and bags if things but didn't want my excess furniture as it was out of date. But a charity for getting homeless people into homes had all my furniture even though it was old fashioned they said their clients where happy to have good quality of furniture. The men collecting them commented in what good condition everything was in some things were 40 years old .

What annoyed me how picky the well known charities are . I had duvets and pillows all good quality and clean but homeless shelters wouldn't take them but said if I gave them money they would buy new. So they went to local animal charity as they said they had a lady who cut up duvets to make beds for the dogs and cats and used the pillows to make into cosy caves as some if the animals felt safer surrounded .

Have to finish my ramble later as need to get my out of bed have move it or lose it class at 9.30. Been awake since 4.30 but had my sleep out . 😊

Babs I have been taking Amitriptyline since 1992 for nerve pain used to be 10mg twice a day but upped it to 10mg three times a day 4 years ago and haven't have what I call a pain flare since upping my dose. It's one of those tablets that is duel purpose as in high doses it's an antidepressant. Some people only take it at night for nerve pain as it makes them drowsy and they get a good night's sleep . But since first taking it I have never been drowsy . Makes me laugh you can't have grapefruit or juice when taking Amitriptyline never found out why🤷. Don't know what dose Mr B is on but an increase might help him with the pain .

Allsorts the problem with any injuries or pain due to muscle or tendon damage takes long time to heal a broken bone heals quicker. Plus it can make any arthritis worse so double whammy pain . It's a vicious circle you need to rest but that can make you stiffen up then you need to do gentle exercises but that can make the pain worse and tired you out . With our bodies you can't win. But you are a fighter and won't let your body win . Trouble is the older we get the longer things take to heal. But I know in my case the more I get annoyed with my body putting limitations on me .

Had to have a declutter again last week as the plastic containers I have with 4 clips round the lid I can no longer clip and my stoneware oven proof dishes are to heavy for me . So my daughter has inherited them all. And brought some canister from M&S because they have a simple locking seal a chunky handle on the top you just flip over. And stackable . Plus brought the old blue and white enamel baking dishes in varies sizes and shapes . Plus boxed all my glasses up and brought unbreakable plastic ones from Etsy . And other crockery I can't use anymore. Will have to ask my daughter to take them to charity shop as no charity will collect boxes only furniture. I have tried them all plus some charities only want clothes or furniture.

Yoga your new neighbours sound very anti social and I don't know how you can change them. I would certainly have a talk with her, ask her down to yours or go up there when he's out. Spell it out but its go softly with people like that who have no respect, once you stop talking nothing gets done. You don't deserve this after your last neighbour. I dread moving because you cannot choose neighbours
Babs, its a nightmare trying to get a doctors appointment here too..Good luck.,
Smileless have you a lovely shop by you to find such beautiful things.? You have an eye for it.

@Smiles your choice of furnishings sound amazing, I love Kingfishers, that will add a beautiful touch.
As for Mr S, am afraid Mr B sometimes becomes fixed on an item we don’t need or have no room for. Have told him we can’t do that anymore because we need to downsize, so far he has suggested a coffee table as surplus to needs, whereas I am thinking we need to get rid of a removal van full 😂
There could be tears before bedtime. 😆
As for the docs appointment, I didn’t manage to get one, rang dead on 8 but was number 25 in the queue.
Thankfully if we get the bungalow we want is not far from a medical practice with excellent reviews.
Will have to ring again in the morning.
Take care everyone 🌺🙏🏾

Evening everyone.

It must have been very upsetting as well as a shock for your friend Spring. I don't want our ES to be told anything about my funeral or anything about my ashes because I don't see the point TBH, but I can see why it must be hard if your EAC dies before the parent(s) they've estranged.

You simply don't expect to outlive your child .

I hope you do write and complain Sparkly . That says it all doesn't it; An AC feels their emotional needs aren't being met so it's the fault of their parents because of course it couldn't possibly be them whose at fault.

Maybe you should contact your GP Allsorts, that can't be right but it could be as Babs has said that you've been over compensating but even so, after 6 weeks things should be improving.

It must be scary living on your own. I hope you can get something sorted asap x.

How did the appointment for Mr. B. go Babs? Actually Yogin putting the pushchair on 'dickheads' drive isn't a bad idea .

You do seem to be rather unlucky with neighbours Yogin but I couldn't help but laugh at your descriptions;^dopey upstairs, dick head next door and next door to him syco^.

If the pushchair doesn't get moved you should say something next time you see her. Don't they have a car? They could take it to the local tip. If they don't have a car and you're desperate you could offer to drive her there. Not ideal but at last it would get it out of the way.

Bought a new lamp yesterday to match the blinds we have in the living room and some new table mats and coasters in blue, to go with everything else.

The blinds and lamp have kingfishers on them and you'll never guess what else we came across and just had to buy; matching kingfisher 'tie backs' for the curtains .

Well they're not tie backs exactly but brushed metal poles with an ornamental kingfisher on the end.

Mr. S. very annoyingly pointed out a dark blue cabinet with painted foliage which is fab, but the only place there's room for it is in his 'man cave' in place of his bookcase. He could put his books in the cabinet but says he wants to be able to see them .

Not sure if I'm going to be able to 'persuade' him on this one.

Typos - meant to say babysitting at our age is not for the faint hearted 🫣

@ Sparkly please do complain to the Guardian, if nobody says anything they can print anything no matter how biased.
@Allsorts do you suppose you were over compensating with the other hip and leg?
Rest up and take the painkillers could be the sciatic nerve as Yogi said.
Hope you improve soon 🌺
@Yogi yes babysitting as we get older us not girls the faint hearted, and after the rigours of your party you probs need a rest.
You neighbour sounds a bit thoughtless with regard to the pushchair. Could you move it onto the drive if the infamous dickhead next door 😂
Only joking 😆

Sparkly yes do complain to the newspaper and let them know the heartache of what they propose.

Spring still can't get my head round how cruel your friend has been treated.

Allsorts sorry to hear you're in pain, is it a trapped nerve or sciatic?

Morning Smiles No, no more big parties for me, really enjoyed this one and pleased all went better than I hoped.

No, I can't mention the WM, that's the penalty you pay for living in a flat Knew none of this till I moved here. I'd love a place like yours Smiles I may move the pushchair to the garden gate and hope dopy takes it in when he goes for his nightly weed.

I know I sound terrible, dopy upstairs, dickhead next door and next door to him syco; all weed smokers!

Whiff I think they have a list they must class you by, so don't let it upset you, we all know you keep yourself fit & as healthy as you can. xx

Allsorts Yes, I did post a 'new home' card through their door when they arrived and invited them in for coffee and cake, extended the invite a few more times but not popped in yet. We chat mostly on the doorstep, 'old school'

Babs fingers crossed all goes well with your sale and purchase, that's all you can do. I'm really tired after my GC visit, let alone 2 days babysitting!

The washing machine upstairs didn't bother me till now, but 4 times a day .
The pushchair is broken and they have a new one. I spoke to him yesterday as he was outside having a smoke, he said they didn't know what to do with it yet and hadn't booked it in for collection! I should have continued and said ' well please tidy it away'. She is off today, so I hoped she would deal with it, she was in the garden earlier and I thought 'Oh good, she must have put the pushchair in the garden' Nope, still there.

I get on well with her and C, I don't speak much with him and can't say I like him, seems a bit of a dope and smokes it too , every night in his garden, not nice and no doubt that's why he comes across as dopy.

Hi Everyone, well the walking didn't happen, an excrutiating pain on the other leg from my hip to calf took my breath away. I can't put any weight on it and on Naproxen 500mg.Its 6 weeks now and I can't get around.. When you are on your own it's scary.
Good luck today with your husband Babs, do hope doctors find a medication that helps him.
Whiff if you can't find the paint colour and it all the rest looks good, can't you out a bigger picture over the tear. I know of someone who bought a house and the house they bought wasn't painted behind the furniture.
Hope you all have a good day.

Morning friends. I would be livid too Whiff. Disabled is a protected characteristic, frail isn’t.

I read the Guardian problem page just now and am very cross as they suggested someone cut off their vulnerable mother with no thought for ruining her life by being cut off.

The article was entitled;
“When parental relationships fall short of fulfilling our own emotional needs, they can leave us feeling at fault”.

I think I’m going to complain to the newspaper.

Babs I’d be annoyed at that too!

Smileless I’m glad you like the cat mug image 🤣 and I hope you are back to fuller form today.

I’m sure you are right Smiles that the family (and Funeral Directors) were honouring the EAC’s wishes in not revealing what was to happen to the ashes, but the bluntness of being told by the FD they weren’t allowed to know came as a massive shock. Our EAC has hurt us hugely but I don’t think I’d deny a request for them to know….although I doubt they’d even ask.
Good luck with the house sale/purchase Babs, and sorry to hear the new neighbours are proving disruptive Yogin. Guess 5 in a flat can’t be easy, but I hope a solution can be found - maybe a mat under the washing machine? Glad you were able to correct the medical notes Whiff. Is so annoying when people make assumptions. You do an amazing job living a full life.

Morning everyone, lots to catch up on so here goes .

So pleased the party was a great success Yogin. It must have been lovely having our DS and DD there to lend a helping hand and just as well you had a pamper day to help you recover.

The photo's are great, such a shame your dress didn't arrive on time but you looked lovely; will you keep it for the next 'big one'?

Sorry to hear about your new neighbours, as if the idiot isn't enough to contend with. You could mention the washing machine, maybe it's too near a wall which is why it's so noisy.

How lovely Whiff having your GS's to do a bit of cleaning for you . It is annoying when you're having trouble matching a colour but you might find colour charts useful. They show various subtle difference of particular shades which you can hold up against the wall. Even if you knew the exact colour, depending on how long ago it was painted, it might not be a perfect match anyway.

Glad you managed to to get through the 6th OK, these 'anniversaries' seldom get much better .

Unfortunately these days so many things, like a frailty assessment are box ticking exercises and make no allowances for any variables, just like it was for you trying to claim PIP. Yes or no answers are meaningless without further information.

Wondering what may happen if our EAC dies in our lifetime is something none of us will have considered Spring. I'm sorry your friend is being hurt by not knowing what's happened to the ashes; I can't say I'm surprised though.

I wont want our ES to know anything about my funeral etc not that he'd want too, so it could well be that it's her D's wishes that are being honoured here. It's not the case for everyone of course, but for some the estrangement itself is closure. If not for the EP then almost certainly for the EAC.

It wont be easy for her to think that this is what her D wanted, but it might help to consider that this isn't necessarily due to the vindictiveness of others.

You're right Allsorts, we all have our sadness and it's easy to think that the families we see around us are all joy and happiness, but life is rarely if ever like that for anyone.

I'm glad you managed to have a good night's sleep and hope you feel better for it. Good idea to start off with short walks and gradually build it up, you don't want to do too much too soon.

I could do with a mug like that Sparkly especially this morning as the only reason I'm on here now, is because I didn't fancy going to church today. When Mr. S. asked if I was going, I could have just help up the mug .

Oooh Babs, I don't want to jinx it for you either but it does look as if this bungalow was 'meant to be'. To be back on the market when you get an offer on your house is very exciting. Good idea to offer the full asking price. That's what we did on the house we sold to come here and what our buyers were advised to do. If you really want something there's no point in risking losing out is there.

Absolutely everything crossed that this all goes through.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend everyone.

Thanx Allsorts, keep telling myself not to get too excited because we have been let down twice, but can’t help it, am my own worst enemy. 😉

@Whiff I totally understand your anger, how dare anyone write that kind of thing in your records, you have been disabled for a long time, so why use the word ‘frail’ now, just because you are older. This can make a person feel they are losing their agency, good for you for being your own best advocate.
Our surgery had it down that my husband needs a chaperone when going to the doctors of course we questioned it and it was simply because he is in his mid seventies and I had gone with him to a couple of appointments for moral support, I was furious. It made him look like a feeble little old man who couldn’t speak for himself. I certainly put them right!!
😡😡

Great news Babs, how exciting.🤸🏼‍♂️
I take it you have introduced yourself to the people upstairs Yoga and taken a card. If not I would do it now to start things off friendly. Couldn't you just ask them if the pram is still there in another week? They should have done you the courtesy of asking first though.
You frail Whiff, that nurse doesn't know what shes taken on.

Seems people who have replied to my moan keep telling me I am frail because I get enhanced PIP for living and enhanced PIP for mobility indefinitely. I am disabled not frail .

My daughter said yesterday the nurse must have fraility of the eyes.

At least here sanity reigns .

Haven't forgotten you all. I started a thread on health forum as I found out today when I had my blood taken yesterday the nurse on it put on my medical records a I am frail . I am livid . And it will be taken off my records on Monday. She never said I was being assessed and I was with her less than 10 mins . I am so angry . I am disabled not frail . 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

Btw good news, but don’t want to make a thing out of it in case I jinx it.
Have had an offer on our house and an offer accepted on a bungalow we loved initially but they took it off the market, anyway it just came back on the market and we offered the asking price to be assured of getting it.
Lovely views of the South Downs which is what we wanted.
🌺🙏🏾