Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

Still here, reading and thinking of you all. Happy 2025 to all - lots of love and healing 😘

Hope all is well Whiff, we are all thinking of you, im glad you aren't alone, take care and update us when you can 💐

Good grief Whiff hope you're OK love. As Babs says Thank God your daughter is with you and we are too xx

Oh no Whiff!
Thank God your daughter is with you!!
Sending lots of love ❤️🙏🏾🙏🏾

Will answer everyone properly hopefully tomorrow ..been in A&E since 5am . Waiting for ward. May have had silent heart attack. But further tests to do. But I am fine not worried in the best place . Just had to get my daughter to me at 4. 30am . Like she said been few years since we had to do this 20/2021.

@Yogi enjoy some quiet times with your GDs, poor Joey might not get the walk he wants but the weather out there is horrible.
We love walking and keep meaning to go out but DH has another dreaded virus, most of family have it, am sure it will go to his chest again.
Take care
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@Allsorts the wasted years and ill health due to stress are a big regret, and am sorry you have this too, am sorry for all estrangees who feel the same, I sometimes wonder what we could have done in those years if things had been different, but nowhere near as often.
You are a survivor Allsorts, and the trauma you went through can’t cause you that amount of pain anymore, just hold onto the calm and the certainty that you did everything you could for your daughter. You are not at fault. And now, whether you are alone or with loved ones you can hold your head high and get on with the life you deserve.
Take care
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Allsorts awful how your estD made you feel, good to hear you are now in a better place xx

Welcome Mandy we have all had those dreams.

Yes, it's quite usual for more members of the family to be cut out, just starts with the parents.

Had my GDs stay overnight. Good sleep, breakfast and now playing quietly, can't go to park in this weather!

Babs, I’m so pleased your dh is ok. It takes a cold heart for your d not to care. You are quite rightly concentrating on those that are and have been there for you. Your d true colours are showing and those that thought bad of you and took her side have shown theirs. You never forget how people made you feel even if you can’t remember exactly what was said, A saying comes to mind, when people show you what they are like believe it. Isn't it odd how they cut off both sides of the family. I remember, feeling I must have deserved it, that people were talking about me saying what must I have done, but one by one they too were cut off. Nothing prepared me, although her behaviour towards me had changed, becoming controlling and critical. All to make me feel useless.Years later I regret those wasted years, she will not alter and I don’t like what she’s become and I can’t forget how ill she made me.

Allsorts, yes the hurt does give rise to anger and disgust. When my DH had prostate trouble a couple of years ago and we didn’t know if it was cancer I remember thinking that our estranged daughter doesn’t care even though we are getting older and anything could happen. It takes a cold hearted person to just not care like that.
Funnily enough a cousin we are still in contact with - most of my side of the family are also estranged from us - said that my sister has now cut off from my estranged daughter and other family members are no longer happy with her. But I can never forgive what they did, and again I feel such anger towards them sometimes, though most of the time I try not to think of them.
They chose to believe her lies and to stick the boot in when I had suffered a break down. Sorry won’t cut it. Too much damage has been done.
Am so glad you get comfort from this thread, I do too.
Take care
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@Mandy you are definitely not alone. I too have worry dreams and suffer from anxiety.
Estrangement can drive us up the wall at times. But you got through Xmas. Well done. Take heart from small victories.
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Lovely opening post Smileless. I didn't see the picture Whiff mentioned but everything looks so pretty covered in snow, pity I can’t go out though and feeling hemmed in. If I have a fall there's no one to help so I have to be sensible this weather. Like Babs I had a long problem with my foot for two years and I am nervous about going abroad as I used to. There is a book I read, No one is Coming, that's how I am feeling, most of the time I am fine with it.
I do think what has helped me more than anything is this thread, I don't say much about my d as it always hurt too much, but I now feel there's zero chance of me ever being ok with her I will, as the hurt has become disgust. That programme on the radio listening to other people like us talking about almost identical experiences made me really sit up and think how common it is, how it wasn't my fault.
Mandy, I do hope you get over this blip soon, I have frequently experienced the same as you and awoke crying. Sending you and all of you a big hug. It is driving rain here at the moment, we've had the full range of the weather today.

Hi I have been reading and getting comfort knowing I'm not alone, I have got through another sons Christmas birthday he is 42, I'm having a flare up with anxiety ATM and having vivid dreams, they all seem where I'm looking for him and I feel I get lost, and never get to where I want to be , I'm going to be patient and hope things improve, anyway happy new year to everyone and keep smiling best you can .

Morning everyone, I'm glad you all like the OP .

I wish Whiff; it's pouring with rain here and was raining a lot during the night. The ground is sodden and so were our dogs after Mr. S. took them out first thing. I wish we did have snow.

Well from the first one which was on the AIBU forum Yogin, if we average 3 a year which I think's a reasonable assumption, we could be looking at about 30 to 33!!! It's hard to know because I don't know if the earlier ones moved as quickly. They were primarily for EP's but I can't remember if 'support' was in the title of the earlier ones.

Problem is Babs you'd have to return to the cold and gloomy weather having been spoiled by all that and those warm temperatures. At least come March the weather might be a little better to come back too.

Have a good day everyone, stay warm and safe xx

I imagined you would get the snow Whiff, be careful if you have to venture outdoors, is great for kids but am not do fond of it at my age. Had a fall a couple of years ago and broke a bone in my foot, had to hobble around in a surgical boot 😳
Hey Yogi, yes the weather is better down here but so dreary, am feeling like we are living in the twilight zone. Time for coffee and cake 🍰 once this awful weather shifts.
Looking at temps in the Canaries, would love to just hop on a plane but chance would be a fine thing. Maybe March, will see. Have train tickets as a present for Xmas so looking forward to booking a couple of days somewhere. This horrid weather just makes me want to escape.
Take care estrangees 🌺🙏🏾

That thread is still going even though it's down the list Yogin. I posted when I had been here 5 years in August as there where a lot of us moving that year . And all the things we where having done as the years went by. Time flies by when you move to right place .

Hope your neighbour is behaving . himself.

Smiles it must look like a winter wonderland from your lodge windows.

Morning all, yet another new thread! How many is that now Smiles? I agree; lovely opening post from you Smiles.

Whiff 5.5yrs! can't believe how fast the time has gone, I remember we were both on the moving thread together. I've been here 3yrs this month!

Well, warmer today and raining here, pleased about that as I have a class this morning and wasn't looking forward to scrapping my car off.

Lovely opening post Smiles. Madgran nice to see you still with us.

Well it's been snowing off and on during the night. Snowing heavily now and 2"s already. In my 5.5 years here this is only the 3rd time it's stuck . Normally it lands and melts. We are to close to the sea for it to stay normally. High winds blows everything away. Keep warm everyone and think any dog walking will be off as there paws will freeze . A quick visit into the garden to relief themselves and back in the warm.

Children will love it here as it means they get to make snowmen. Not hilly for sledging .

Keep warm everyone and stay safe . ⛄🥶

It's always good to read your contributions Madgran

Madgran77

Hi Folks. Still here, still reading, occasionally posting. 🙂

👋🏽 Hey Madgran, have read your posts, you always contribute something insightful to a thread.
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Hi Folks. Still here, still reading, occasionally posting. 🙂

Beautiful words Smileless.
The most reassuring think about this thread is that everyone understands. And nobody judges. All that is offered us friendship to those who seek it or just a safe place to drop into every now and then.
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Smileless your opening new thread post says it all,thank you, and thank you to all who have supported me publicly and privately, you have all been a life line at times.
Whiff, I love to hear about your grandsons and family, dont stop posting about them, they are part of your story ❤️