Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

Whiff bless you, Kidney infections are awful

NiceDream I don't need a smart watch to tell me off I do that to myself all the time. I even say stop nagging woman I know. Especially if I have over done it and the chronic fatigue sets in .

Smiles I always feel better after a nap but then again I can nod of after breakfast even after a good night's sleep. If I fight it and get to tired sets my HPX off. But still don't learn my lesson and push myself to far .🤦.

I am waiting to see all the deleted posts on those threads. But it's the same story over and over again . The insults will start soon as posters come out of the woodwork .

Madgran I wish I could only walk for 15 mins and give up but I have to push myself to far. I am my own worst enemy.

News of Babs and Mr B he is walking around but in pain . And Babs is trying to rest when he's asleep as he is waking in the night . The family are all going and taking all the food with them and taking over while there. Hopefully one of them will take Babs out for a few hours to give her a break . But knowing Babs she will do nothing but fret over Mr B. He's got along road to recovery but wouldn't be the same . But the main thing is they are still together and the family is supporting them . The estranged daughter is keeping away and quiet but no one tells her anything which is good.

Finally had no kidney pain yesterday and just one antibiotic to go . Blood test Monday .

Take care all .

Why does everyone argue on other threads all the time? It's exhausting

I think it has something to do with sleep cycles and if you wake up in the wrong part. My smart watch tells me off whatever I do sleep wise.

That happens to me Smileless. For me making myself go out for s 15 minute walk despite feeling crap usually improves things. 😏

I was hoping for a TGIF today and have just woken up from an afternoon nap which is very unusual for me so my hopes have been fulfilled, but now I feel crap and wish I hadn't dozed off which is probably why I don't very often.

What's wrong Allsorts?

There's three threads now taken over.

Hope you enjoyed your day out Whiff.

We've just got home after a long and emotional day. Mr. S.'s sister's ashes were interred today and then we all went to Flamborough for a picnic.

It was lovely and sunny but that wind off the sea was pretty strong and chilly. It was good to see how close her children are to their step father, who looked so sad and lost.

I hope they keep in touch with him, I'm sure they will as they both call him dad and he's granddad to her little boy.

Yep, another 'here we go again' thread' Whiff .

Smiles sorry no answers for Mr S. My daughters mother in law has had a cough for going on 5 years now . Every test has been given and drugs tried nothing helps . Sometimes she has to have antibiotics for a chest infection. She has had to learn to live this is here life now . It just started out of the blue and got worst.

Hopefully there are other tests that can help .

Thank you Smiles and NiceDream but I stick to my guns and can't be nasty to the people in my move it or lose in group or the other 2 clubs I am with the woman as she is lovely and kind . But had blinkers on when it comes to faith.

Oh dear just read the latest thread here we go yet again . Same old things written . And where does it get to nowhere as usual . Just hateful remarks that will end up being deleted .

Same old narrative estranged parents are bad and know why their children estrange them . Well 5 years down the line I still don't know but accepted it's not going to change 2 years ago and happier.

People do estranged their parents but usually it's after years of putting up with bad treatment. And need to cut themselves free.

But I didn't do anything wrong and never saw it coming . People on those threads say parents should apologise. I know dam well I have nothing to apologise for. My son made his choice so hope he is happy in in his perfect life . Perfect life no such thing.

Anyway woke to not kidney pain going out for the day on the bus but will have taxi back before the fatigue kicks in.

Take care everyone and hope the sun shines again today.

I'm sorry people have given you a hard time like that Whiff, your values are just as worthwhile as an atheist.

Hope an answer is found Smileless2012

Mr. S's endoscopy went well and they didn't find anything which is good but no answers which is frustrating.

I don't understand why that would bother anyone Whiff . If I offer to pray for someone and they don't want me too that's fair enough.

Glad you're feeling a little better, you'll soon be back to normal just be patient and do try to do too much. Have a good day out tomorrow but take it easy x

SparklyGrandma hope your phone appointment went well with your thyroid surgeon. I haven't grown any strawberries this year but those look yummy.

Yogin glad your park friend perked up seeing you and having soup and the yogurt . Glad you liked the saying and used it . I went to move it or lose it class yesterday. My speech was bit better but still hard to get the words out . Had to do more exercises sitting down as still more wobbly than normal. I had given the saying to the instructor as she always had one for the end of class . But she reworded it so it wasn't the saying I gave her.

I love going to class but my being an atheist seems to offend the Christians in the class . The instructor is a lay preacher with C of E. There is a lovely lady in the class and see her at 2 other things I am a member of . Her son in law is in ICU and asked people to prayer for him . I said send my best wishes to all the family . I know her daughter as well. She said I will say an extra prayer from you. NO. Everyone is entitled to have a faith and I respect that . But why can't people respect my right to have none . Over the years I have been told I will burn in the fires of hell. But pointed out yes I will burn but in a crem . And as I don't believe in a god I don't believe in any devil .

There is evil and wickedness that is what some humans do . And some of it is done in the name of religious beliefs that have been warped.

Thanks for being there . It's been bugging me since yesterday. There is no move or lose it class next week as our instructor is on holiday . But will tell the class the saying . As she said this was my saying she reworded it.

I know it may seem silly but I am fed up people asking me what church I go to say non . They ask why when I say I am atheist. I don't ask people why do they have a faith . When asked why I tell them I read the old and new testament when I was 14 and decided it was a load of rubbish. Plus I believe in the theory of evolution .

Both my parents where Christians but they didn't go to church . My dad said it was full of god botherers who were holy than thou on a Sunday but if you where on fire any other day they wouldn't xxxx on you to put it out .

It's funny when someone in my sit fit class went to give me a leaflet for a church event said no thank you I am atheist. No questions or asking why .

Normally it wouldn't bug me so much but feeling as I do it just got to me . Plus my speech is laboured I wasn't my normal feisty self.

NiceDream glad you are in a happy place . My parents always said that but I never told them how I was bullied everyday a high school. And the words did hurt . There was only a couple instances of physical bullying. But this was the 70's some of the teachers where bullies . They didn't bully me. But if someone didn't pay attention the chalk eraser would hit them .

I know some of the things my son said in his email and letter haunted me for 3 years but then I let them go. As I know things where not true and the only person who was hurting was me . Accepting things won't changed was very freeing and anyway my husband dieing hurts me far more than anything he wrote.

At least my kidneys don't hurt so much today . So hopefully they won't hurt tomorrow as I am going out for the day . Got friends coming for lunch on Saturday so need something's I can't get by me . Will go by bus but have a taxi home . And I have been told about a lovely tearoom by a friend so will try it out .

Be back to my normally non whining self soon . 😊🤞

It's good to hear that you've settled into estrangement NiceDream and whether you're the one who estranged, or the one whose been estranged, I think that's the goal to aim for.

Broken bones heal but the even if the wounds hurtful words can cause heal they leave scars, and it's those scars only visible to ourselves and those who truly love and know us can 'see' that we must learn to live with.

Smileless2012

Just as we know the pain and anguish that words of anger, bitterness and sometimes hate can cause, we also know the power of words to comfort, support, understand and sometimes help to heal.

This is and always has been the reason for this support thread, it's why it was started so long ago and why it continues. The fact that true friendships are made as regular posters share much of their lives with one another, good and bad, is a wonderful bonus there for all who continue to post and for new comers too.

This is a wonderful opening post.

I have settled into estrangement but it took a long time to get to a place where I stopped looking back to see if I was missing something and to blame for my mother's treatment. Sometimes it takes having your own children to really understand.

Words have so much power, they can be used to cut you like a knife or they can be used to hold you up. It took me such a long time to understand that when I grew up with that old saying "sticks and stones may break my bones". Words can hurt you, deeply, in ways it is incredibly difficult to recover from.

Support and friendship is a wonderful thing and truly can keep you sane at times. Thank you

That's not good Smiles Mr.S having that op more than likely is the cause of the choking on food.

Sparkly my BP is good: 70/120, it was acid indig. that was the problem, solved by change of diet.

Whiff I did use your saying in my class this last 2 classes, and I could see my students nodding their heads.

Thanks Whiff re GD. I think best to stick to the tabs that do the trick, even if not quite right, but give no side effects. so, carry on as you are. Phone......

Morning all

Sorry to hear about Mr.S Smiles, at least you know it's not his heart or lungs, could it be indigestion? Some have gone to A&E as it was so bad they thought they were having a heart atch, so could be. I am not a fan of the cinema, prefer to wait a year and see it on TV. My park friend looked awful when I first arrived, but perked up, I feed him his lunch of soup & yohurt, as I could see he wouldn't be able, that in itself was sad.

Whiff thank you for this lovely saying - Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice

Greetings Babs and your Hubby

Smileless Hope your DH tests come out clear.

Whiff and Yogin I hope your BPs calm down and behaves itself.

Can’t sleep, I’ve got a 9 am phone appointment with a thyroid surgeon and I need to wake up for it.

Who said 4 weddings and a funeral? I might go and watch that……

Mr S and me have something in common I choke on food . But I also wear mine with my shaky hands 🤣

If they try and put me on another BP tablet I will ask for referral to AF clinic. As they understand.

We're hoping that the endoscopy shows what the problem is Whiff. About 16 years ago he had surgery on his nose and throat because of his snoring. He stopped for about a year but when he started again, it was worse than ever!!!

Since that op, he often chokes when eating because food goes down the wrong way and we've often wondered if that was caused by the op, because it had never happened before.

We think this maybe connected as he's constantly trying to clear his throat but with little or no success.

That's not very good is it*Whiff*, it doesn't inspire faith and makes you wonder if she was fully aware of your history and current medication .

Smiles glad Mr S results are clear but are they going to try and help him if he is still having discomfort?

Sorry the film was disappointing but do like Keanu Reeves . He is a nice person off screen and does a lot of good . Four wedding love that film but always makes me cry when John Hannah reads the North South poem .
Back to my normal amounts of wee just have painful kidneys . They told me at the walk to ask for 7 days course of antibiotics. They gave me 3 days but the amount of urine I produced at the clinic when I had only been just as we left to get there a 20 mins drive and that including dropping the boys back home . Speaking to the GP who warned me about my sodium levels and my nit having water tablets . I told the GP who prescribed the blood pressure tablet about my low sodium. Just so angry she gave me one that acted like a water tablet plus total me to stop having salt . But back on it .

Yogin glad your granddaughter had a good time . Hope your park friend is ok.
I know it was . Speaking to my GP this morning as I don't need to see her as I have my diagnosis. But will need a blood test to check my sodium levels which I expect have dropped further. I was on Lansoprazole where I used to live took them a year to realise they made my sodium levels to low. My GP practice here does regular blood tests on me . But it doesn't bother me but always take my own plasters as I am on blood thinners and bleed like anything . Will not go on any other BP tablet. I am ok with the one I am on. The problem is my HPX confuses things . And if I am not well or on a tablet that doesn't agree with me it sets it into over drive . My mobility and balance worse and it makes it hard for me to speak. I know what to say but the words don't come out easily or are muddled up and can't remember the name of somethings .

Morning all,hope you had a good weekend.

Hope you're feeling OK this morning Whiff and you get to speak to your GP today . You're fortunate to have your DD near by to be there for you at times like this.

Mr. S. is having an endoscopy on Wednesday to try and find out why he has so much discomfort in his chest and throat. Blood tests, an x ray and having his heart monitored have all come back clear, which of course is good news and a huge relief.

I try not to spoil today by worrying about tomorrow, but it is a worry when we only really have one another.

That business with Reddit is very bizzare Whiff and I'm glad you've got it sorted apart from never knowing who it was.

Hope your park friend's OK Yogin.

We had an interesting evening yesterday. Mr. S. loves going to the cinema and as we haven't been for a while so went to see 'Ballerina' and 'action packed movie' with Keanu Reeves; that sold it to me.

Had a nice meal out before hand but the film, well I said to him when it was finished that that's two hours of my life I wont get back. KR was only in it for a total of 5 minutes and the entire dialogue wouldn't have been longer than 10 minutes.

I put the tv on when we got home to catch the end of the news and '10 Weddings and a Funeral' came on which I haven't seen for simply ages. Mr. S. groaned; I wasn't intending to watch it but we did, and he smiled and laughed all the way through it!!!

Made up for the trip to the cinema .

Morning all, lovely and sunny, unlike yesterday!

Thanks Whiff & Allsorts re my GD. Got some pics last night of all the girls baking, so cleverly having a good time.
My b.i.l's house was lovely and we had a lovely time at their house warming/1st birthday party. Seeing my park friend after my yoga class this morning, hope he is ok.

Whiff your BP was dangerously high! I stopped taking the tabs the doc gave me for my acid idig. because I was weeing too much, I was put on another tab and that gave me vertigo! so stopped that and hope I never need to take tabs for anything again, I will certainly try not to. Hope you feel better in a few days Whiff xx