Not seeing grandkids

They all seem to be long gone thank goodness Whiff .

Other ones to look out for are nilbog - goblin spelt backwards and emong- gnome backwards.

Thank you, Kamiso

Starfire57

Llortl38562

DubAngel

I wrote the post last night because I was upset.

1.i don't expect to see them every Sunday for lunch
2.nor would I go down everyday.
3.i know they are busy.
4.i just want to be included sometime.
5.
I'm in Ireland and I wouldn't bring them to court.
6.i brought my own dm in to show that I understand boundaries.
7.im allowed to feel annoyed and have my feelings hurt over being cancelled.
8.
I've decided to leave it and let them contact me.

I'm glad you're doing the right thing.

Now instead of focusing on how upset you are (I don't know the full story behind the cancellation, but if they are completely in the wrong than I'm sure a respectful, adult-to-adult conversation will suffice).

Focus on becoming more likeable instead. Since you can't make him like you or spend time with you. He's not a little kid under your total control anymore. He's actually so grown that he has a child of his own, so his parent's feelings shouldn't really be a priority for him right now.

Once again, glad you aren't making it his problem.

Though I have the fear that your comment:

"I've decided to leave it and let them contact me."

Means you're going to go the petty route and give them the silent treatment.

If that is the case, than your silence will be a true gift to them, not a curse.

So, you tell her she's doing the right thing, but it's petty?? Do you even hear yourself?

Starfire: The person causing the added distress is a regular nuisance whose user name reads Troll backwards. Given the high divorce rate in the US it’s surprising these problems never occur.

Hi new to site. Looking forward to having convod

Leo58, please don't respond to such comments. Made to derail and upset people, they appear out of the blue usually one person under several names supposedly supporting each other, mad I know, just ignore, would you want to mix with anyone who speaks to others that way ?

PubBeer

It should be criminal for someone this dense to reproduce.

I can see why your child ended up revoking your parental role.

As the rest of us try to be civil and, as I put it, decent human beings, you just dig yourself deeper and deeper into that hole.

Starfire57

PoobPeeb

Leo58

“He's not your parent so I don't think it's his place to start worrying about your feelings,”

Aren’t we human beings, and shouldn’t we be concerned about everyone’s feelings to some extent? I try to consider my friends’ feelings, my coworkers’ feelings and I certainly considered my parents’ feelings before they passed away. Your assertion that the child has zero obligation regarding his parents feelings just reflects a callous and selfish attitude.

You're stunted if you think your relationship with your child is at all comparable with other relationships in your life.

Hint, figure out what friend you have that started their relationship with you without consciously consenting to be in it.

Well you are here trying to kick total strangers when they are down. So, your opinion is pretty much dog doo.

To PoobPeeb: OK, if you insist on being obtuse. I would also try not to hurt my postman's feelings. Certainly I didn't choose to be his postal customer. It's called being a decent human being.

Smileless2012

I never thought I'd see anyone saying that children shouldn't worry about their parents feelings .

Neither did I! 🥴

Poobpeeb,
You quote me comparing ACs to Nazis.
I didn’t do that.
You completely misread what I said and I don’t believe it is because you are not intelligent enough to grasp what I was saying you were being disingenuous.
The ‘othering’ of groups in society goes in in every society in the world and it isn’t ACs or Nazis doing it. Mostly it is down to tropes and misinformation in the media.

PoobPeeb

Babs03

Smileless2012

I never thought I'd see anyone saying that children shouldn't worry about their parents feelings .

Am afraid there is sometimes a certain amount of ‘othering’ towards parents and grandparents, making them seem ‘unlike’ their ACs, regardless of whether they have done anything to deserve this. Is a well known dehumanising tactic used to make certain groups seem ‘less’ than another group. Is ugly and damaging to individuals it targets and society.

Whatever helps you sleep at night babs. If comparing estranged adult children to nazis is what helps, then you damn well do it!

Well that one just flew over your head. It's the groups that promote and influence with these known tactics, not the estranged adults. However, being adults, they are responsible for their own choices, despite the influences, so they are pretty pathetic in their own right.

Smileless2012

I never thought I'd see anyone saying that children shouldn't worry about their parents feelings .

I imagine this same person would have quite a bit of bad to say if the situation was reversed and someone said parent's shouldn't worry about their childrens feelings......

PoobPeeb

Leo58

“He's not your parent so I don't think it's his place to start worrying about your feelings,”

Aren’t we human beings, and shouldn’t we be concerned about everyone’s feelings to some extent? I try to consider my friends’ feelings, my coworkers’ feelings and I certainly considered my parents’ feelings before they passed away. Your assertion that the child has zero obligation regarding his parents feelings just reflects a callous and selfish attitude.

You're stunted if you think your relationship with your child is at all comparable with other relationships in your life.

Hint, figure out what friend you have that started their relationship with you without consciously consenting to be in it.

Well you are here trying to kick total strangers when they are down. So, your opinion is pretty much dog doo.

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Smileless2012

I never thought I'd see anyone saying that children shouldn't worry about their parents feelings .

Am afraid there is sometimes a certain amount of ‘othering’ towards parents and grandparents, making them seem ‘unlike’ their ACs, regardless of whether they have done anything to deserve this. Is a well known dehumanising tactic used to make certain groups seem ‘less’ than another group. Is ugly and damaging to individuals it targets and society.

DiamondLily

Smileless2012

Grandparents don't have rights in the UK. Any case regarding contact/visitation would be based on the rights of children having contact with extended family which of course includes GP's.

Yes, well as you know, my family has spent two years in court, with social services backing, to have visitation rights to my GGD.

It’s ended up with the birth mother being unable to see her daughter, except under strict supervision, the maternal GM having care and control, daily, and my family (everyone) being given court ordered unsupervised contact of a weekend per month.

But these circumstances were extreme.

Very interesting to read.

Sorry for your situation.

I never thought I'd see anyone saying that children shouldn't worry about their parents feelings .

Leo, yours is a natural, human response. This nonsense talked about children having zero responsibility to parents so logically no one but themselves, just means lots of selfish entitled people about. Best Keane them to it as there is no reasoning.
I am sorry your wife and yourself are going through this, try to focus on what you do have not what you can't change. It's only Dix months do they might re think.

“He's not your parent so I don't think it's his place to start worrying about your feelings,”

Aren’t we human beings, and shouldn’t we be concerned about everyone’s feelings to some extent? I try to consider my friends’ feelings, my coworkers’ feelings and I certainly considered my parents’ feelings before they passed away. Your assertion that the child has zero obligation regarding his parents feelings just reflects a callous and selfish attitude.

DubAngel

I'm seeing them this week.
So we shall see.

So, curious, how are things going? Did you have a nice visit?

As you say DL your case was extreme and the mother unfit to parent but most people don't normally have a say in seeing grandchildren it's at the parents discretion. I never went to court to see my gd, even if I had the right given by the court to see her say once a month, it wouldn't have happened, the child gets caught in the middle and naturally mother comes first, plus you don't know what's being said. Grandparents are so important to us and to them but a lot of us font get tge opportunity sadly. Luckily for me I had two others who I didn't see regularly but they had sleepovers sometimes and days out and I made the most of them. We have a good relationship now.
I really think it best to accept that if you have any contact you make the best of it.

Smileless2012

Grandparents don't have rights in the UK. Any case regarding contact/visitation would be based on the rights of children having contact with extended family which of course includes GP's.

Yes, well as you know, my family has spent two years in court, with social services backing, to have visitation rights to my GGD.

It’s ended up with the birth mother being unable to see her daughter, except under strict supervision, the maternal GM having care and control, daily, and my family (everyone) being given court ordered unsupervised contact of a weekend per month.

But these circumstances were extreme.

I'm seeing them this week.
So we shall see.

I agree Allsorts manners cost nothing.