Have you ever estranged a relative?

has anyone said EAC don't have as much right to be here as EP's stillawipp? What a shame to spoil the thread with an argumentative post when up until now there hasn't been any unpleasantness.

It's such a shame that threads get disrupted for no apparent reason.

I think that that's the best outcome to hope for when there's estrangement Sara; not muddling along, not caring for each other, having no conversation. Where there are feelings of bitterness, resentment and of feeling hard done too.

Then you're free to make the most of the life you have with those who truly love you.

I’m sorry you feel alone on here OP, but I do understand why you do. This is an ‘estrangement’ forum not an ‘estranged parents’ forum so estranged adult children have as much right to be on here as anyone else and please don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! Nobody owns Gransnet, however long they have been posting, and nobody should be pursuing a ‘them and us’ agenda to the exclusion of others. You are as entitled to be on here as any other poster - I know sometimes it doesn’t feel like it, but you are. As a previously estranged parent, I’m not in your situation, but lots of others are, and your thoughts and opinions are just as valid as mine or anyone else’s.

I am glad I estranged overall, I am doing so much better in life without the constant put downs. It was a last straw for me too.

I don’t think anyone plans it, it’s usually that last straw situation, it was for me anyway.
Had she not behaved in a certain way in a certain situation, we would probably still be muddling along, not caring for each other, having no conversation, me feeling bitter and resentful, her feeling so hard done by, so looking back, I am so happy that she pushed me too far.

Allsorts

NiceDream, You now have a thread about abuse, so that's good.
The thread you used to post on was ordinary people, not violators and abusers so no knowledge of your situation.
As for mother's talking about menopause or periods, never ever. Most of us didn't. None of this ‘love you’ everytime we spoke either, but it was how things were then, we all managed regardless and I consider myself blessed to have had brilliant parents, they worked hard, gave us good moral values, lovely clean home and good food. My parent went without to give us a good home. I knew they loved us we didn't need telling. I am a glass half full not half empty person.

My mum was ok but I went to a boarding school. She never spoke to me about anything woman wise or of any value. You are not alone. She is still alive , almost 80. Lives in another country, my brother looks after her well

No. I have a very large and squabbly family and a few loyal but sometimes difficult friends. We fall out, but I would never estrange anyone on purpose. Maybe I've been very lucky.

The only person I 'avoid' is my son's ex who still gives me a lot of grief, even if she sees me for a very brief time. But 'estranged?'... no.

NiceDream

Thank you Bluebelle I appreciate that. I'm ok, just feeling a little out of place here and wanted to reach out

If we know why you are lonely on here, may be we can chat about what you would like ?

I went NC with the woman who gave birth to me in 2015. I saw her at my daughter's wedding a couple of years ago.

Life is better without her. Family who know her understand

How is it weird Crossstitchfan?

Nice dream
Good plan

Sara1954

Well we don’t all get them, focus on the positive things in your life.

Just organising a family meetup next weekend so working on it 😊

This thread is very weird indeed!

Ambergran, sadly I have the same situation with my nieces, and nephew.
I would have loved to have been an auntie to them, but they love their gran, and assume I am the bitch from hell.
To be fair, I think my brother has tried to stand up for me a bit, but they know her, and not me, so it’s obvious, and understandable, that they only see things from her side

Well we don’t all get them, focus on the positive things in your life.

I think it just feels so unnatural, everyone deserves a good mum

Nice dream, you ate not alone. I have been estranged from my mother for over twenty years, it’s how I want it, I will never reconcile under any circumstances.
If people don’t approve, that’s their problem, not mine, I couldn’t care less.
She was a pretty bad mother, but not abusive, she had her problems, and I don’t hold her 100% responsible, I just don’t like her.

Oh no AmberGran please don't feel guilty about estranging the mother who had spent her whole life making (you) feel worthless and invisible.

You have nothing to be guilty about so enjoy the life you have with those who love and want you in theirs .

Ambergran I understand, I'm sorry for what you went through

I don't know about your age but I haven't spoken to my mother for nearly ten years, since my father died. She spent her whole life making me feel worthless and invisible. (But apparently I can't take a joke.)

The day after my father died the family were gathered around and she thought it was a great time to tell everyone how very fat I was as a teenager. I was devastated at losing my Dad, very upset, and I just looked at her and thought 'she has no thought for any one's feelings at all'. The next morning we packed our bags and went home and I haven't spoken to her since.

It's a long and complicated story. I'm not estranged from anyone else, although I've never discussed the situation with anyone else. I'll happily chat with any other family member if they contact me. My lovely nieces hate me because they worship their Gran, and because this is my journey and not theirs I don't want to affect the way they feel about her.

Anyway, you're not alone. The trouble is I now have a life filled with guilt which is almost as bad as feeling worthless.

Thankyou NiceDream

CrazyH glad for you

I was nearly estranged by a very, very close relative. Through my perseverance and patience, I think, the problem was sorted.

I've only had good feedback from other people posting here?

Allsorts

I am sorry you cannot see how different it is for an abused child to estrange and the other thread you were posting was on grandparents being estranged. No one said you said anything bad. That's all I want to say on the matter as its pointless.

Sorry but where is it you don't think I should be posting? Because I haven't been told I am unwelcome anywhere?

I am sorry you cannot see how different it is for an abused child to estrange and the other thread you were posting was on grandparents being estranged. No one said you said anything bad. That's all I want to say on the matter as its pointless.