Have you ever estranged a relative?

I think you ll have to explain a bit more what you mean ?

I was forced to estrange my mother to protect my mental health

I was wondering if there are many people here who have done the same or similar

Well I can’t help on that one I loved my Mum and Dad and had a good relationship, but there are many on here who didn’t have that luxury so I m sure you ll get lots of comfort and advice
I just didn’t want to walk by without seeing if you were ok x

Thank you Bluebelle I appreciate that. I'm ok, just feeling a little out of place here and wanted to reach out

I've not estranged anyone but we are estranged from family. I'm an estranged adult child, if that makes you feel less alone.

Yes I estranged my parents and one sibling. You aren't alone here but I don't interact much. If I say why I don't interact here, I know I will be contradicted and questioned. I think it's fairly obvious though.

I know that's not much help. I don't desire to belong on this particular forum anyway. I really just browse it when I feel any guilt because that fixes it up right away. Or sometimes when I find myself thinking about my mother and how she spoke to me. It's an unhealthy habit.

Reddit has a few estranged adult children subreddits that are full of like minded people, if that's what you're after. It doesn't sound like that's what you want though. Sorry I can't be of more help.

I know I'll be contradicted and questioned just like those who have been estranged are.

Honestly, no clue why you're on here.

Not all of the members of estranged parent communities are abusers. Quite a few people show up with stories of losing contact with their children because of drugs, mental illness, cult involvement, abusive sons- and daughters-in-law, or the influence of a vengeful ex. However, most of the people who know why their children are estranged filter away from the group quickly. I don't know where they go, but I suspect they find help in other groups—parents with drug-addicted children find groups about dealing with drug addicts, parents whose children are in the control of an abusive partner find groups about partner abuse. What's left are the people who have no idea why their children left them.

And that, is a vast and waving red flag.

I am almost estranged from a sibling. I am mostly responsible for this. I still love him but don’t like his bragging and the fact that he’s always talking about himself. He is mean with money so much so that I have seen him deliberately walk behind someone collecting for the blind. It makes me sad as we have the same sense of fun and agree about so many things but when I’m in his company my hackles rise. It’s the constant - and I mean constant - talk about his money that really gets to me as there is no need for it. I often think I ought to try to reach out but can never bring myself to do it. I also think he would reach out if he cared for me but he doesn’t as he only cares for himself. Sad isn’t it.

Thank you User and Emong I'll be careful not to take anything to heart.

Skydancer I can understand that, sometimes people prioritise things and money and what people can do for you and when you are the sort of person who values people, it feels uncomfortable.

Yes it is sad Skydancer .

Nice Dread, I haven't been on the Forum but I think you might have more in common with Reddit as they do have a lot of people that have estranged parents. We are coming at it from a
different perspective. However, you need to speak to someone more qualified as you have unresolved issues which cant be helped by the likes of me.
Sky, couldn't you just once tell your brother how you feel, that he is mean and money obsessed as I think he need to know, he can't take it with him, i would start the conversation after saying, I do love you but"….! It could help him reassess.

Hi Allsorts it's Nice dream

It's ok, I think this forum is more my age than Reddit, I'm not sure what you mean about "perspectives"? Surely abuse is abuse? This forum does seem to be about all kinds of estrangement too?

Yes it is about all kinds of estrangement but I think suggestions are being made of other forums because you said you feel a little alone here.

I was, I appreciate everyone engaging with me

I think as well because I am going through menopause, I seem to be struggling at times to process my feelings.. Not something easily talked about with non grans lol

My daughter and I have been estranged for five years now. It was a very toxic relationship, she having schizophrenia. It got to the stage where everything I did or said caused rows and I dreaded the phone going as her meds wore off and she'd be in meltdown on the other end. My mental health was suffering worrying about her but I couldn't give up on her. It was she who made the choice to cut ties, I never could have. I tried to find out if she was well but a policeman called telling me she said I was harassing her so I've had to leave it to her to get back in touch.
There's not a day goes by that I don't think about her though

I'm so sorry to hear that sassenach512. I hope you are taking care of yourself.

Emong

Honestly, no clue why you're on here.

Not all of the members of estranged parent communities are abusers. Quite a few people show up with stories of losing contact with their children because of drugs, mental illness, cult involvement, abusive sons- and daughters-in-law, or the influence of a vengeful ex. However, most of the people who know why their children are estranged filter away from the group quickly. I don't know where they go, but I suspect they find help in other groups—parents with drug-addicted children find groups about dealing with drug addicts, parents whose children are in the control of an abusive partner find groups about partner abuse. What's left are the people who have no idea why their children left them.

*And that, is a vast and waving red flag.*

The lesser spotted troll, goblin, gnome, leprechaun all known to wave 🚩- it never gets old does it!

Knowing that your D has schizophrenia will make the estrangement all the harder for you to cope with sassenach

It's the 'go too' response isn't it Pantglas and certain threads always seem to attract them don't they .

Do people feel comfortable talking about menopause and things like that with their daughters? My mother wouldn't even discuss periods with me and I had a horrible time.

I just feel low and tearful at the moment with no "mother figure"

NiceDream, You now have a thread about abuse, so that's good.
The thread you used to post on was ordinary people, not violators and abusers so no knowledge of your situation.
As for mother's talking about menopause or periods, never ever. Most of us didn't. None of this ‘love you’ everytime we spoke either, but it was how things were then, we all managed regardless and I consider myself blessed to have had brilliant parents, they worked hard, gave us good moral values, lovely clean home and good food. My parent went without to give us a good home. I knew they loved us we didn't need telling. I am a glass half full not half empty person.