Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

So sorry Smileless. Hold your memories close.
🙏🏾❤️

Smiles that 2 years has gone by quickly . She and her partner helped you and Mr S through tough times after you moved and they became your neighbours after years of estrangement. I remember you writing about the meals together and the laughter especially after a few wines. They became family to you . And you both grieved for her like she was your daughter. 🌹

So pleased you're having a plaque on the bench Dave sat on Yogin .

Today is the 2nd anniversary of the day we lost S, our gorgeous girl. We went to Lanercost Priory today and I lit a candle for her and said a special prayer .

Re graveyards Whiff I find them interesting too. In Switzerland and Austria many grave stones have a china plaque with a photo of the person buried there. Seeing them and then reading about the life/family of that person on the stone makes all these very moving "pictures" of individual lives. The photos tend to not fade and surprisingly the china plaque appear weather resistant

I love looking at old grave yards . It's the variety of headstones that I love ..The graveyard in the village has a headstone that is just a pile of rocks cemented together from 1800's and the inscription you can tell was probably made by the family it's my favourite as the family wanted to mark their loved but we're poor. But I think that is priceless as it was done out of love .

Yogin having the plaque on bench he sat on will mean a lot to people who meet him even if was just to say hello. I like reading the plaques and some benches in the park by me have several on and I like to think they knew eachother. As you know I am odd but I always say hello to the names on the plaque . To me they are a more fitting tribute to that person than a gravestone . Plus they give people pleasure sitting there .

The biggest dog I have stroke was a breed that has been banned and has to be muzzled now. Something bully in the name . She was very gentle and her head came to my boobs .

I have had big and little dogs run towards me but I haven't been frightened. If they did attack I have my walking stick . I would never hurt any animal on purpose but wouldn't hesitate to defend myself or anyone else. Letting go if my fear of dogs freed me . I miss 3 of my neighbours dogs but they all died at old ages . My next door neighbour had a giant German shepherd who used me as a leaning post . If he heard me on the drive and he was with his owner on his drive he always came to see me . Then his owner would come to see where he was.
My husband would laugh his socks off if he saw me .

I have changed such a lot since I moved here . I think it's having a home again and the people here . Seeing my daughter and family regularly is great but I am very independent. And do things I never thought I would by myself and for myself . I always put others first but now I put me . I know that sounds selfish. But I have been looking after others since I was 11. I was 61 when I moved here . My daughter and son when he was still in my life told me it was about time .

We know how we have all changed and many here are doing and done things they never thought they could and that's something to be proud of . We are all survivors.

Whiff re: birthdays xx

Babs lovely to read you and hubby can take a walk in the park, that will do him a power of good.

Whiff we are going to put a plaque on the bench where Dave sat, no point getting a bench at the back of the park as it wouldn't be the same and as Dave bought the bench for his friend it is all in order. Sorry you got attacked by those dogs, especially the Alsatians, not surprised you were scared of them for most of your life thereafter. I keep a wide berth of any big dogs in the park and am ready to pick Joey up if anything were to happen!

I always read the plaques on benches in the park and imagine the person sitting there once upon a time, I must be morbid because I also look around graveyards in quaint old churches and imagine the families on the earliest gravestones.
Anyway, morning all.
Hope your holiday is going well Smileless, the weather is fantastic so get out there with your doggies, and Mr S of course, and enjoy the pants off it.
Let me know which bench gets the plaque for your friend Yogi and will say hello each time I see it.
@whiff, we have always had dogs but I feel nervous when I see a large dog off it’s leash running towards me, dogs are gorgeous but can be unpredictable so is always wise to be careful, and if you have a dog, and we have always had small ones, it can be scary sometimes because you fear the attack of a bigger dog off its leash. We always kept ours on our leashes whilst out and about for that reason.
Take care all and have a good day ❤️❤️

Yogin grandchildren can wear you out but it's lovely to beable to play with them.

Today is my son's 38th and my grandsons 7th birthday. Haven't sent anything to them for any celebration since 14th August 2020 when my son sent everything back all unopened and my baby grandsons presents crushed and his letter telling me he didn't want my vindictive and manipulative behaviour anywhere near me or my family ever again . Zero contact. I will never let him hurt me like that again . My pregnant daughter and grandson where here when it arrived . I gave my daughter the baby clothes and cuddly toy to give to the baby bank she supports.

I always wish them happy birthday out loud. What hurts is my grandson if he knows I still exist will think I don't love him . He was 2 last time I saw him .

It's my adopted dad's 93rd birthday so I took his card and present when I went to visit them last month . Already sent what's app message and GIF . At least I can celebrate his birthday.

Smiles I loved That's life and remember that dog saying sausages but the owner was moving it's jaw. Cyril Fletcher and his odes . Good fun show. Remember Ester Ranson getting arrested for blocking the pavement when she stopped people to try new products or ask a question. It used to the highlight of the week. Far better than these so called reality rubbish shows.

Hope you and Mr S and the dogs of course are enjoying your holiday. It is a pity we can't all get together . I have now meet 3 from GN in the flesh and we got on like a house on fire . Meeting the one near me I had lunch with in October. As they are going on a long holiday to Italy via train next month and I go to Harrogate for 5 days . My choice of restaurant this time . Will have to ask my daughter for recommendations. I have been to a lot with her and by myself. But can't remember where she took me 🤦. My friend came by train . We have a very good transport system. Which includes free local train travel once 60 .

Smiles my daughter and family always stay in air b&b here and abroad . I know they take the Amazon fire stick with them when they go abroad don't know about in this country. Did I say they had been in Copenhagen for 5 days then 5 days in the Legoland hotel . They didn't tell the boys until the day they where packing to go too Legoland . They would have drove them made about going . The hotel looks like a castle made from Lego bricks .

Sparkly hope you are well . I have only been to one burial my best friends husband's. Be 3 years since he died. She picked a plot in the sun for them both . He's coffin was made from weaved willow different colours. May sound strange but it is the most beautiful coffin I have every seen. But must have cost thousands. It was -5° and snow on the ground but had stopped snowing for the interment . Luckily it was only 10 mins service outside . Didn't take part in the service as I just cried . It should have taken us 90 mins to get there but my daughter allowed 2.5 hours which was a good job it was 0 ° here but as we got closer it snowed and high drifts along the roads . We arrived just as the vicar started the eulogy. There where hymns plus the Wrexham football club song sang in Welsh . My friend had a Wrexham scarf put in his coffin and one in the wreath from her. Rest was donations to the 2 charities they support. I did direct donation to the charities. Always give donations as flowers waste of money.

At my husband's funeral can't remember name of the song when we went into the crem but it was a Franz Ferdinand song my daughter picked,Damian Rice for the lowering off the coffin sons choice and Mr Blue Sky by ELO my choice went well left as we where fans of them . It was ironic as it was pouring with rain .

Oops pressed post. My hands shake more since January and my right is a lot worse . Lost control so please excuse spelling and typos.

Will have to go back to page 9

Yogin all the benches in my local park have plaques on may seen odd to I say hello to the person or persons name on it . I have been on a bench when the wife of the person who died came for a sit down and she told me it was for her husband. As both widows we swapped funny stories about or husbands and laughed. She thanked me and said people seem to think she is going to burst into tears talking about him as he died during covid lockdown from cancer and could only have few a his funeral. But she said he wouldn't have wanted a fuss. But he loved the park and walked their dog 3 times a day in it . Their dog died not long after her husband she said she thinks he died of a broken heart. But family said no it was because he was old. But I said she was right . Animals especially dogs do understand and feel things and you know your dog and how much he loved his walks with your husband. She cried and gave me a hug . Haven't seen her since .

As you know I don't have pets but I do like dogs and I do talk to them like people nuts I know . I only got over my fear of dogs after being attacked twice as a child once when a toddler and a dog pinned against a railing and my mom beat it off. And playing over the school field 2 Alsatians ran at me and my friends . They ran faster than me as they knocked me down well I know realise I fell because of my HPX but they pinned me down growling . Luckily adults came and chased them away . They didn't hurt me but had deep seated fear of dogs after that .

When my son and daughter in law had the dogs they used to put them in the kitchen when I visited . Then they moved to the house they brought and the dogs slept in crates so they where put in them .

They had them for 3 years and had kept asking my son when they where going to be done . They where male and female . He said they kept them apart. Then I had a phoned call and said how many pups had she had . He said how did you know told him it was only a matter of time . She is a small he Jack Russell the male jack Russell now can't spell but here goes shitsu cross . Poor thing had to have a c section as she had 3 pups and was sterilised . Aggie my brother and sister in law's dog is one of the litter she's 9 as they where born before my oldest grandson was born and he will be 9 in October. The other male went to a lady who wanted a friend for her jack Russell and they kept the other male.

Before I moved here they couldn't have the 2 males loose at the same time they had the one neutered but not the dad . So they fought. I now it was only a matter of time before one of the boys got hurt . Won't say what happened as it makes my blood boil. And I am the bad parent 😡😡😡.

After my grandson was born my son said I was upsetting my daughter in law but having to have the dogs penned because of my fear. So as they had the 3 I decided when I went up that Christmas I had to get over my fear as I didn't want to hurt her .

Looking back I think it was an excuse so I wouldn't go to their home . But I only visited when I son took me . I don't think she thought I would get over my fear . I am glad I did and now realise she hated that I did .

Lucky cats Sparkly 😋- how are you doing ? I will pm you one of these days - just come back from The Riverdance - treat from my daughter - good show - not too long - I couldn’t handle more than2 hours 😂

My cats have had a slice of premium roast chicken each this evening. I swear both are smiling in their sleep.😴

Smileless I hear you.

Thank you Babs.

Choosing hymns for one’s funeral;

How Great Thou Art

Thine be the Glory

When I survey the Wondrous Cross

Calon Lan. A Welsh hymn, meaning, only those with a pure heart can truly sing.

With DS in Aus. if it's left to ES we could be joining you Sparkly .

SparklyGrandma

Afternoon All, sorry been MIA.

Funerals. I will want a particular religious one but not sure about £3K for a grave and burial.
I will have to set it all up and of course pay for it.
If my EstDS had anything to do with it, I might end up in landfill.

Sorry Sparkly Gran, you sound a bit down, sending hugs 🤗

Yogi good idea about the bench, have seen the plaques, a lovely memorial. Matt can walk further now so we regularly go for a stroll in the park hoping we will see you one time with Joey and still hoping I can get time away for myself but hey ho all in good time 🥹
Smileless have a wonderful holiday, am certain you will, we all get stuck in a rut but hoping you can beat the blues and enjoy time away with your besties.
Love to all 🙏🏾❤️

Afternoon All, sorry been MIA.

Funerals. I will want a particular religious one but not sure about £3K for a grave and burial.
I will have to set it all up and of course pay for it.
If my EstDS had anything to do with it, I might end up in landfill.

Oh yes they're here Yogin .

Smiles yes, I do remember that advert, very clever doggie, Joey is very clever but unfortunately cannot say sausage, he just gives a big smile and the sausage is his .

Good to hear you arrived safely at your B&B and good timing to knock out your rut and put a on your face. Are your doggies with you? bet they are.

Afternoon everyone.

Do you remember the do on 'That's Life' who could say 'sausages' Yogin? You'll have to teach little Joey; imagine how thrilled the owner would be if the next time you take Joey and he brings him a sausage, if he could say it!!! .

So sorry about the loss of your park friend Yogin . A plaque on the bench where your friend used to sit sounds like a lovely idea. You often see that and sometimes flowers are tied on one of the arms when its the anniversary.

I've passed all of your congratulations into Mr. S., who is very pleased with the shield but disappointed that his photo wasn't in the local paper but all's well as it will be going in this week. As we're away having arrived at the lovely Air B&B we keep coming back to this afternoon, I've suggested he text his sister and ask her to get him a copy.

It's a shame we don't live nearer to one another as it would be great to meet face to face and be able to do away with those 'virtual hugs' for day and hug for real.

So pleased the appointment went well Whiff, it's great that you're receiving such great care. It is odd isn't it that you're so often asked if you go to church. Like Allsorts, that's never happened to me but once when I was at a church home meeting I was asked if I was a 'born again Christian'. I hate that expression so said no, I've been one ever since I can remember.

It's great to be here and we'll be getting some lovely weather too. I struggled yesterday getting everything together because TBH I've been in an emotional rut lately which I don't seem to be able to climb out of and when I am, I don't want to go anywhere, see anyone or do anything. Good job we booked this when we were here last year .

Hope Mr. B. is doing well Babs and you're managing OK. Sometimes even though I've read through a post before posting, a load of nonsense still appears .

Waiting for the Air B&B owner to pop round because we can't work out how to use the TV (blush).

Good idea Whiff re the rose bush. We are going to put a plaque on the bench where he sat, he bought the bench when his friend died, so I would think that will be fine by all. We will no doubt have a memorial for him at some point.

Had my GDs over for Sunday dinner yesterday, so my DD&S.i.l could go out for a meal. Slept till almost 8am this morning, when normally I'm up by 6am, sometimes 5.30am, so the girls must have worn me out more than I thought all good fun though.

Allsorts it must be my face or something but people ask me on a regular basis which church I attend. I do things to help people because I want to and if they need help or I have some advice which will help them I do .

On Friday waiting to see my neurologist got talking to a young mom and her daughter. And told her about the Brain Charity to make sure she gets all the benefits she is entitled to..as she has 2 conditions which means she can't work. She has a husband but didn't think she was entitled to PIP . Told her about the National disability card and all the money off shops give it's £20 for 2 years but supermarkets etc off a % discount off. Plus there is the National carers card . Also the Access card which has symbols on mine has the one for I can't stand still long In a queue,companion and WC . Which means if I need the loo and the shop doesn't have public loo they will let me use the staff one when I show my card. That was cheaper and lasts 3 years.

Took me 35 years of fighting to get disability benefits so I always tell people about things they can get and where to get help..

I don't understand people think you have to believe in a god to be a good person and do things to help people. Just because I am an atheist doesn't mean I am a bad person. Even though where I used to live I was told I will burn in the fires of hell. Pointed out as I don't believe in god therefore don't belief in the devil but I will burn in the crem. But I do believe in in evil and wickedness. But that's what people do to eachother religion has nothing to do with it .

I feel as you do Yogin about Pure Cremation, no closure. However people have a right to choose what they want. Every time you pass the place you talked to your friend you will think of him. Perhaps you can all toast his life next time you all meet
up.
Whiff, I have never had anyone ask about whether I believe or not and its wrong that people have questioned you.

Allsorts my friend lives in the next town .

I wanted just a cremation no fuss. I have organised 3 funerals parents where religious just with one arrangement of flowers from the family and donations from others which went to charity no wake just cake and sandwiches for me and my children and my brother and his . Only thing dad said was no woman vicar they talk to much . Both small funerals especially mom's as she was 90 only one sibling left . Few more at dads he was 80..

My husband was a non religious funeral as we are atheists lot of people there just donations no flowers as they are a waste of money. But we raised over £5,000 for treats for cancer ward patients if they wanted a bottle of something nice ,fan , chocolate or anything that didn't cost over £30 . That way the money went further . No wake . My daughter's housemates hired a car and came . She didn't want her boyfriend there . I told her to go out to have a meal with them before they drove back . My son went out with his best friend. I just wanted to be alone .

Have been to wakes but hate them if I had a choice I wouldn't have gone . But was asked so couldn't say no.

My daughter wants a funeral so I offered to pay for it but she said no it's her responsibility. But she knows it's non religious no flowers and there won't be many there depends if any of my friends are still alive and relatives. And she said she will scatter our ashes together. I don't care where . We will live on in our children and grandsons DNA. We never believed in the after life . We had our time together when he was alive and my daughter and grandsons had their time with me while alive . To me life is for living once dead that's it no more.

I know many here have strung religious views and that's your choice and if it helps you then that's good and glad it helps you .

I have non my choice . Thankfully no one here things I am wrong . Pity some people I meet tell me I am wrong but I ask them what gives them the right to say that to me . And if that's being a Christian them I am glad I am an atheist. I don't judge people . I treat people how I want to be treated . And to be honest I do more good than those so called Christians .

I got so fed up with cold callers . I had a sign for outside my bungalow which says no cold callers and no religions of any faith . No had a cold caller or as my dad called them god bothers since.

Mom and dad where both Christians but they didn't believe you had to go too church to believe . Dad used to chase Jehovah's witnesses up the drive shouting I am a blood donor .

Yogin I have a mutant gene in my brain receptors which is why I have hereditary Hyperekplexia gene mutation SLC6A5 type 3. Or HPX for short . But something other than my HPX is wrong . Non of my new symptoms have anything to do with my HPX checked with my group if anyone has the things that are happening to me since January. But I know my neurologist will help me .

Pity you can't plant a rose bush where your park friend liked to be in the park that way it will bloom every year . A lasting tribute to him and he's love for the park .