Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

I know I shouldn't be putting this on here, but this is the estrangement page and I feel I need to. Got some really upsetting news that will not leave my head, up at 4am as couldn't sleep from thinking of it.

Can't go into detail but my estD H has always told her she's mad and incapable, she never was before she lived with him, so it's him brainwashing her to think she is. He has now given up work to be her career. I remember, before we were cut out, him telling her to go to SS and tell them she was mad and he would then apply to be her full-time career, so this is not new. I said to her, whatever you do, don't say anything like that to SS. She did suffer from depression after having 2 babies 12 months apart.

My ex [her dad] and his brother [her uncle] went to see her on Sunday where they learnt all this. She has been diagnosed as having agoraphobia, they said she was very quiet and withdrawn. Before she was the most outgoing of young women.

They told me more, very upsetting, which I can't repeat.
But did you know: 3 women a week die by suicide as a result of domestic abuse. I have contacted a local help-line to see if anything can be done to help.

Thankfull, children bounce back quickly especially around their friends.
Sparkly, who is DE & S you have received an email from?
One aspect of estrangement not talked about really, is the
fact that as you age and not so active and are estranged, you seem to be surrounded by friends with loving children who include them in their families so have a supportive network.

Smileless they all look so young!
Got me thinking which one was that now, Ithought was someone else. Doh.

Most boroughs have a tree preservation officer or two.

Those trampolines sound like a nightmare.

Yes Smileless two very big trees gone I the last year near me.

Anyway another week. Our council haven’t cut the verges which now circa 18 inches high in grass. An inconvenience to me but probably a boon to all the buzzing insects floating about.

I received an email from my DEsS this last few days.
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That’s kids for you! We worry far more than they do! Hope she soon makes a complete recovery 💐

Thank you Crosstitch We went to a family party on Saturday, you'd hardly know she had a broken arm the way she was playing about. Straight out into the garden and on the swing, swinging away with just one hand holding on . She really enjoyed herself and her arm didn't seem to trouble her at all!

Will be back . Very tired and need to have my lunch and a 😴.

Yogin I had a few conifers at my old house and they where like bird hotels during the breeding season . Plus Magpies and crows could get to the eggs or chicks .

My neighbour the back of me has a trampoline in the garden as his son, daughter in law and granddaughter live with them. But he only gets it out when the weather is good if it's going to be windy and during the winter months it's folded up and stored behind his shed. He cut down and couple of his trees to down to the ground. But has beautiful silver birch trees and they are beautiful in the winter months.

Babs does the heat effect Mr B's breathing if so see if they will prescribe him a GT spray. Heat and cold effect my breathing and my cardiologist gave me a GT spray. Just 1-2 sprays under the tongue it tastes vile but it works . I take it everywhere with me just incase I need it .

Before I forget anyone here with disability or carer or have family members are one or other. Only recently found out about this.
The National Disability card and there is a National Carers card. The disabled one costs £20 for 2 years but if you buy the carers as well it's cheaper to get them together. Plus buy the holder and lanyard. It's saves having to prove you are disabled. Since I had mind wear it every time I go out. You can get discounts from supermarkets,etc and can even be used abroad. I am confident with my disability but wearing it makes me feel better. If you Google National disability card it will take you to their website it's an easy form to fill in and it's for babies onwards there is no age limit. There is also an Access card which is a different thing but just Google that . It has symbols on for your needs I have the can't queue,WC and plus 1 on mine which is for caere. I am usually out by myself but if my daughter has to take me in an emergency plus if I need a carer in the future go out with me they are covered.

Do the others at the bowls club call Mr S the lad 😁 Hope is was ok with this heat. Having a BBQ when you fancy one is lovely. And you may get more hedgehogs coming round than just one . Where my brother lives they all have arches in the fences for the hedgehog hiway. When it starts to get colder he puts out food for them but only after their dog has been out ready for bed. As hedgehog food upsets dogs tummies. Mine you she did eat a whole bowl full. He can hear them behind the garage waiting as their prickles run against eachother.

Can picture you Smiles with your parasols and book and no doubt a nice cold drink just bird calls and the water features. With a contented smile on your face .

I will just check in then read what pages I have missed .Today finally think I am getting back to not the pre January me but the me before the blood pressure tablets gave me a kidney infection and the antibiotics caused my heart to go crackers week today. My HPX is more under control. Think it was a shock for my exercise classes how bad it gets . Hopefully this week can stand up this week to do the exercises . Will just take it easy as I go away on the 14th to see my brother and sister in law for 5 days . Managed to do my pedals this morning but fell asleep after my breakfast.

Thursday I went to see Vasily Petrenko conduct the orchestra at the Phil. It was brilliant. He conducts using his whole body. And after each piece he gave a cheeky smile over his shoulder so we didn't clap until the end . Found out I can't clap any more 😱. Had brilliant help from Josh taking me to my seat and he came back for me at the end. Must have looked bad as the taxi driver taking me walked me into the venue and the one who brought me home wouldn't move until I got inside.
Talked to some lovely people. It was a magical night and the high strength hi fidelity ear plugs worked .

Better read what everyone has been up to .

Yoginimeisje

Sounds wonderful Smiles just the sort of place I'd love.

Sparkly not watching Tennis, don't know how they can in this heat, see a little when I switch on the TV.

My ex-dance teacher has exotic cats and has enclosed her whole garden in mesh, looks OK. I did tell my neighbour but she's opted for the cage, which I think is awful, but I understand why.

My GD had her op at around 4.30pm yesterday, 2hrs, back on ward at 7pm. I had left to teach my yoga class as it was too late to get cover or cancel. Popped into Tesco to get a few bits and also something for us to eat & went back again. She hadn't woken when I left at 9.30pm, woke later, but too late to be discharged, so going home today. I'd love to share a pic of her in her hospital bed; cuddling a soft toy duckling I'd bought her, long blond pigtails, she looks sooo sweet, but of course can't.

Bless her little heart! She sounds so sweet and it’s sad she’s hurt. Years ago, my daughter fractured her collarbone, she was about 7, so I know what it’s like to worry about things like that. I hope she gets better soon.

Whiff

Milsa you are a better person than me. I still love my son but I can never forget or forgive him or my daughter in law.I would never trust him again .. But it's been 5 years since I saw and spoke to him don't expect to see him again .

He called me vindictive and manipulative 2 things I have never been. I had a loving and caring son for 32 years. What hurts me the most is to realise my son is a cruel coward.

I will always love my grandsons as they are innocent in all this . Last time I saw the oldest 2 they were 4&2. They will be 9,7 and their brother who I don't even know his name will be 5.

Vindictive and manipulative. That's funny, isn't it? I am not fully estranged, just being kinda slowly pushed out lately. But, I have been told the same thing as you! And I'm like, what the hell? Then I asked, well, to what end?

What am I trying to get through the manipulating? It was an honest question.

All I got was crickets. How can people even dream of accusing someone with no reason?

I said all I could think of myself was I want is love and to love, be with my kids and grandkids, so it that a bad thing, really?

More crickets.

So I'm thinking, using the words manipulative and vindictive as descriptions must be some key words they think justify their own actions when they discard their parents for no reason?

Seems to happen wayyy too much to be a coincidence.

Feel sorry fir your son and others caught up in that closure Yogin, in that heat too.

My poor son was stuck in that M25 closure of the QE11 bridge yesterday. Set off from London at 2.30pm and didn't reach his depot till gone 8pm!! He slept in his cab last night as couldn't face the traffic build up coming home

Awfully sad Allsorts

My DD&GD got home at around 3pm, utterly exhausted. We are all going to a surprise birthday party in Kent tomorrow for my f.i.l. I said either I or my son will drive, so DD can relax. Only down side is my ex [C fahter] will be there, visiting from Indonisa.

Glad your little gd is on the mend Yoga. That poor man with 2 sons ignoring their dying father. What goes r,kind vines round. You are kind to him as are others. When my husband was in the hospice there was a man dying of liver cancer and the only visitor he had was a volunteer, we included him in our banter and just before he died he said his time there had been the happiest ever.
An act of kindness with you popping in could have made his day.

We knew the hospital staff had asked to speak to his next of kin over the weekend, so we all thought it was about his discharged into a rehab. Next of kin being his great nephew. He has 2 sons that haven't spoken to him for many, many years. I was told he and another friend went up to where his son's worked/lived and they ignored him, didn't speak to him, everyone said how awful that was. When we were in the park, months back, and no one else around, I did say to him I understand how awful your situation is as I'm in the same boat with my youngest D&GC. But we never spoke more about it. I wouldn't bring it up now as I wouldn't want to upset him at this time.

Whilst I was at the hospital I popped in to see my park friend who was just along the corridor in another ward. He was pleased to see me, quite cheerful & happy & with it. Told me it was the 1st of July yesterday so knew what day it was. We were chatting about him going home and getting back to his daily park visits after a 2 week stay in a rehab care home, so he was very pleased with all that.

Sadly, once home, I got a message that he would be moving into a hospice as he has only 3months to live .

Sounds wonderful Smiles just the sort of place I'd love.

Sparkly not watching Tennis, don't know how they can in this heat, see a little when I switch on the TV.

My ex-dance teacher has exotic cats and has enclosed her whole garden in mesh, looks OK. I did tell my neighbour but she's opted for the cage, which I think is awful, but I understand why.

My GD had her op at around 4.30pm yesterday, 2hrs, back on ward at 7pm. I had left to teach my yoga class as it was too late to get cover or cancel. Popped into Tesco to get a few bits and also something for us to eat & went back again. She hadn't woken when I left at 9.30pm, woke later, but too late to be discharged, so going home today. I'd love to share a pic of her in her hospital bed; cuddling a soft toy duckling I'd bought her, long blond pigtails, she looks sooo sweet, but of course can't.

Morning everyone.

So sorry to hear about your GD Yogin, I hope she's OK. It must have been a bad break to require surgery, bless her.

What was your neighbour thinking? He's made a real mess of that tree and this is not the time of year to be doing it; no wonder you're annoyed .

While we were away our neighbour stopped the reeds being cleared from the large pond where we are. There's a mother with 11 ducklings; 4 moorhen chicks and a lot of European marsh frogs which we can hear every night, they make it sound like a tropical rain forest!!!

Your landlord sounds just as bad Sparkly, it's not rocket science to know that there are nesting birds and young animals about this time of year.

For the last two evenings, at about 10.00 pm we've been entertained by rabbits just outside our decking; hares on the golf course and watching the hedgehog coming and going from his little house .

This area is designated low light pollution which is probably why they come so close to where we are.

Watched some tennis yesterday Sparkly but I'm not as in to it as I used to be. Cam's match was good and it was good that Emma got through but I just can't take to her; don't know why.

Oh no Yogin hope it goes well for your little GD.

Your neighbour could buy a cheap small run for her cat.

On my front lawn I can’t put a small run as there’s a leapy loose dog who visits sometimes, growling etc.

Anyone watching the tennis?

I have to dash....Little GD broke her arm yesterday, jumping off a swing! she went to A&E at 6pm, not put on a ward till 6am and will have an op this afternoon. MY DD getting upset about the op, so need to get up there .

That's awful Sparkly, my squirrels are going nuts this morning, so must be cos they have lost their home, along with the little birds! I don't know how people can do it .

On top of all that, football boy was out in the garden yesterday evening, kicking his football up in the air close to our fence. Of course, making Joey bark, I thought 'it's too hot to close the patio doors, Joey will just have to get used to it' and surprisingly he did, only barking now and again. Then football boy upped the ante, so I went out and said thought football was played on the ground, not up in the air the whole time' he looked through the trellis at me and snorted out of both nostrils! I just said loudly ^Yuk and that I would be staying in the garden with Joey now. So started watering the garden and then football boy went in!

Other irritating thing is; on that same side, the mum puts her cat in a cage, right up against my fence, so of course, again, drives Joey mad! Even though he can't see the cat, he knows it's there. She won't let it have the run of the garden as she's afraid a fox will kill it, as happened to her other cat!

Allsorts the garden is split in the centre with a small fence & gate, but it's a very big garden, so as big as an average normal garden. Did feel as if they had cut down 'my tree', but it's theirs. Made a real mess of it, I take it they are not leaving like that. They have a big hard standing at the back of the garden, so I can't understand why they don't put the trampoline there!

Four squirrels running about like mad this morning, so think their nest was in the tree .

Hello everyone Yogin that would drive me nuts - three trampolines and tree sawing?

My landlord cut down a nesting tree this time last year, it had an active hedgehog nest under it, to build a bin.

I cried! Well nearly.

There were 60-70 fewer small birds in my garden last year. They didn’t survive to this year.

Ended up with some sort of infection, delirious and had to pop to hospital.

My cats were frightened, hadn’t eaten in five days, but on the mend now.

It took estrangement right out of my mind, but not in the way I hoped.

Smileless sitting in the garden at 10.30 pm sounds like bliss.

Sorry about typist, thus pad alters things, I check every sentence then paragraph, press send and words change as in first paragraph last sentence, so frustrating.