Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

I had one of those smart plugs for years, just given it to the charity shop. Do you have to plug all the lights into the smart plug? If so it's no different to having them on a multi-plug. I don't have an Alexa, they do sounds good.

Whiff we talk about my estD & estC, I don't have lots of pictures up since moving, just one of my 3C when they were all very small, my GC ask who they all are and we just say. We have conversations about them; just saying your auntie J or your cousins L&J they don't ask any more questions.

I always answered any questions honestly Whiff as you do and children have to realise sometimes you don't have all the answers. It is a big thing for them to take in that grown ups do unkind or silly things in the heat of the moment, when their own parents are not like that but just the opposite. You and your daughter and sil and extended family are supportive and loving so they won't feel as if it might happen to them. Lets hope you have a few years before that question is asked and I would discuss with your d how they plan to respond so you are united. It is discussed more freely now so they will probably have an idea when they eventually ask. Others may think differently though.

Hilltop I will differently research it . As unless I write things on my calendar I can forget. My only problem is my speech can get stuttery ,slurry and I can't always get the words out . I am waiting for speech therapy. Will have to see if Alexa can still recognise if your speech is different.

That's what I love about this group is not just estrangement by everyday things . A group of friends having a chat .

Whiff, I've only had Alexa for a few weeks and l don't know many of it's uses yet. But l like that it changes radio programs without twiddling knobs and l can just ask it to be louder or quieter. Can ask it stuff without having to Google. I say "good morning- to it and it tells me some fact about an anniversary of the day, fun.
This is very simple but like -switching the lights off- I'm sure it can have lots of uses, someone told me they tell it to add things to their on line shopping.
It does seem to make life easier. It took my son in law just a few minutes to set it up for me

Well we're all guilty of dismissing new things, aren't we? Do have a look - honestly, these were so easy to set up & have made things so much easier!

stillawipp thank you . It might help me actually . I mustn't dismiss things before I research things .

Yup, it can switch lights on! You link it to the smart plugs on the Alexa app 👍🏻. I got the Tapo P100 plugs

stillawipp didn't know Alexa could turn lights on . How ?

Yesterday my daughter and grandsons came . They are asking more about their mom as a child and I have to answer as if she's my only one. But I can see the day coming when especially the oldest one asking why I have only had one baby . I don't tell lies and am dreading that day . The boys know I always answer their questions. It only dawned on me yesterday that it will happen one day . I had never thought of that before. Has it happened to anyone here? At the moment the oldest will be 8 this week and his brother is 5.

Estrangement causes problems I usually handle and have . Just over thinking things about something I hope won't happen until they are in their teens .

How I absorb information it would take me a week to understand how an Alexa works. Stick to my radio and Spotify on my phone for my music . I argue with self checkout machines in Sainsbury's if I only have a few items . Dread to think what I would do with Alexa . Don't really understand how they work. I will scream if the next person asks my why I don't wear an emergency alarm round my neck. Yes I fall but have done since I could crawl . Knowing my luck if I had one would either strangle myself with it or break it falling on it . 🤣.

I have never blamed myself for the estrangement because I know I did nothing wrong my son made his choice but of course blamed me . His way of playing the innocent party . When it fact it was his guilty conscience for being a cruel coward.

What makes me laugh those who estrange their parents who are in the public eye have to tell newspapers etc and they do so because they get paid for their story. Like us leaving their parents silent so as not to end up in a slanging match. But in away it could help other parents going through estrangement that if it happens to the rich and famous it can happen to anyone .

Gosh, even had a typo apologising for previous posts typo. The answer is preview. Never bother with it but I will now.
As for Wills, I like others gave what I was happy with at the time and willingly, however I would not leave money to someone who cut me off and I don't know anything about now. She won't even know I am not here anyway. Sure she wouldn't want it.

Hilltop we have an Alexa which, to date, I hadn’t used much. My DH was in Australia for the Ashes cricket for most of December and I had to do extra things which I don’t normally do, including switching outdoor Christmas lights on & off. All very time-consuming until I discovered smart plugs - so brilliant and, what’s more you can link them to your Alexa! In our open plan living area we have a total of 7 lamps and now, instead of having to switch them all on & off manually and individually, I can literally walk into the room & say “Alexa, switch on the lamps in the family room” and all 7 magically switch on together!! It’s changed my life 🤣🤣

I thought you were just being very cool Allsorts!! Made me laugh!
I have an Alexa. At 11am each morning she reminds me to go and close the bathroom window (I open it to reduce condensation after a shower). Has saved me from many freezing bathroom encounters!

Oops! Where fund Nil dude cone from, should have been Hilltop, but another one tgstbpipewho slipped through after checking.

Nil dude, It do have friends with an Alexa and would like one for music, it's the thought they are always listening to me I find off putting. I could ask Alexa for things I look up on my iPad.
Had a drive to a Market Town this morning, the weather was lovely spent some christmas money on new leather gloves and jeans but they're quite tight so have started healthy eating again, now I have eaten my weight in chocolate, not weighed myself as do not want go see how much weight I have put on but can guess.

I've been very miserable this last fortnight, l shall be better when I've signed my new Will. But l have been so pleased with my latest buy from amazon. Bought because my daughter was given one for Christmas and l could see how lovely it is. It's an Alexa. It's such fun, if you live on your own especially. Have any of you got one?

I do hope everyone feels welcome coming on here. People eventually come to terms with estrangement in their own way. I probably view my estrangement different to some others. I was one that took all the blame and thought it must have been my fault as I knew no one else it had happened to.Time however has altered that, I am so glad I did everything to reconnect because if I hadn’t I would regret it now. I think she doesn't hate me but I irritated her. There is no way I could have estranged my family even if I just felt duty to them but its different now. They live their truth whatever that is. We are different people after so many years but I still love her and always will, want her happy because she is part of me. Most of the time I an happy and accept what i could not alter but there are still moments when I get down. Not everything can be fixed, it takes both sides. For those that have family or a partner, you concentrate on those that do care, because time goes that fast
you cannot waste it.


cannot waste it.

For me Debbie being here for others has really helped me over the last 13 years because like you, they've also been here for me because it's become as Whiff has said, a group of friends who care about each other, where new friends are always welcomed.

Yes, I’d like to say thankyou to the members on here who have been going through this for many more years than I have, and yet are still happy to help give support to people like myself for whom it has just happened. But it is still very sad for me to hear that your pain is still very real. I wish you all some peace.

Hi back again . . Reading all the money you gave your children to help them only for them to turn on you later on saddens me .

The only money I gave me children that was mine . When I was widowed at 45 the government gave me £2,000 towards funeral costs. But because we knew my husband wouldn't live 5 years we had already put the money aside for it . So gave the children £1,000 each they didn't want it but I insisted and showed them the money for the funeral in a separate account which my husband called the death fund. My husband had a weird sense of humour but it's that humour and love that got him through the slow death he lived through until he was terminal and his pain and losing himself to the cancer which he liked to a blackness eating at him from the inside .

Even though my son estranged me. I am very proud of the fact both my children and their partners worked hard and saved paid for their own weddings and brought their own homes will no help from me .

I did buy my daughter the dress she married in but it was a beautiful dress from Hobbs she didn't want a wedding dress but a dress she could wear again ,brought her shoes and because she didn't want flowers but a clutch bag so I brought that. My son in law brought a suit from John Lewis so he could wear it afterwards for work.

My son priced hiring a wedding suit £100. My daughter in law found a place that sold ex rental wedding suits . My son found a 3 piece suit in perfect condition for £80 which I paid for and brought him a shirt ,tie and shoes. I spent same money on both children . Neither wanted me to be I insisted they where both worried about me spending money on them . My daughter in law found a store that sold end of line wedding dresses and she did buy a beautiful one three quarter length and just had small bouquet of flowers .

Did buy then a wedding gift my daughter and son in law wanted towels in cream and some in blue and my son and daughter in law wanted a good quality mixer on a stand . Got both lots of presents in Marks and Spencer sale for the towels and John Lewis had sale on KitchenAid mixer plus an extra bowel . Total spend on wedding presents £200 each couple .

For all what my son and daughter in law have put me through I am still proud what they have is through their own hard work . She had no help from her parents .

I know my son in law's parents only brought them wedding presents . As my daughter and son in law refused any financial help from them with they're wedding or buying their home .

Both my children told me to spend my money on what I needed . They where capable to get good jobs . Both couples had worked since they were 16 . My daughter and daughter in law always saved and both loved bargains.

My daughter tells me she doesn't want any inheritance. When I said I wanted just a cremation she said no mom I want a funeral so I said I would pay for me now. She said no it's my responsibility when you die. Spend money on yourself and I do but still get my bargains . But a life time being careful with money won't change me .

Since coming out of hospital January last year can't do some of the cleaning low down or high up. So this week my cleaner started work . She will come every week for 90 mins . Went with a company that way if she can't come a replacement will. As I have said because of my disability my life runs on planning ahead and routine it's how I cope . So this is the best option for me . My cleaner did said how lovely my home is . And showed her main areas I wanted cleaned so this week my shower room got a thorough clean all the tikes and my shower cubicle and the rest of the shower room was gleaming when she finished . Next week it's the kitchen to have thorough clean places I can't reach . Then the other 3 rooms week after then it will just be a good clean each week all through.

Well that's me done for now . So glad to see old names and helped given to anyone new . This support group continues on helping and it's more like a group of friends who care about eachother. 💞

Yes V and D seem strong together, and as you say, have their other children.
Sending love to any on here feeling triggered by recent events. I’m finding it hard. Just when you think you’re coping so much gets dredged up again.

V and D have one another; they have other children, family and friends and we all know how vitally important they all are when you're going through such heart break.

He's a nasty piece of work.

I just think the cruelty of making it so public is beyond belief. No one knows what happened but the desire to inflict as much harm on his mother and her reputation as possible - to try to destroy her career and life - says a great deal about his character. She will already be totally heartbroken. I hope she has good people around her to help her through this.

If it does resonate with any of our EAC Debbie I wonder in what way. Does the telling of lies about the parents they've estranged resonate I wonder .

Try not to become despondent. There will always be something that brings it all back because it never goes away but each time you get through them, you'll be that little bit stronger .

Yes Smileless, at least our estrangements weren't made public. How awful. Whatever we might think about his parents, or indeed Brooklyn himself, only we can understand how painful this all is.
Sadly though, for me, listening to it all is not helping me to try to accept and move on in my own situation. It just keeps bringing it all back. I wonder what our estAC are thinking as it must resonate with them too?

Morning everyone.

Another celebrity couple's relationship with an AC bites the dust and we see lies from Brooklyn in a vain attempt to discredit his parents, in particular his mother, to try to justify his behaviour.

All too familiar for so many of us but at least we've been spared the public humiliation.