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Estrangement

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I Dont Want To Get Over It Nor Do I Want To Forget

(29 Posts)
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Grammaretto Thu 19-Mar-26 09:45:19

I think everyone is different and you should never blame yourself for not having the same feelings as others.
After my dad died, suddenly and young, my mum had to "get on with it" and bring us up alone.

She always said she never got over it but she got used to it which is what I say now that it's 5 years since my darling DH died.

It's ok to grieve but I do know a public display of emotion upsets others so maybe keep your feelings to yourself? On here it's fine though to share.

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jendepressed68 Thu 19-Mar-26 09:35:21

I did respond to a lot of the comments and I appreciated the advice people gave. Fyi I have been to counselling over the last few years, I have tried to get help and I am in a better position than I was five years ago. I just needed a place to talk about my thoughts and feelings, interact with people etc. I thought that's what this forum is for.

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Grandmabatty Thu 19-Mar-26 09:32:30

Jen, you have started a number of posts on the same topic then don't return to them when people give you kind advice. Seriously, see a doctor about your feelings. You need to get help

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jendepressed68 Thu 19-Mar-26 09:30:23

I saw this video of a man talking about his late brother. He explained that he always felt a sense of melancholy, like he was 50% happy and 50% sad at any given time. He went on to say that he never really moved on, and that thinking about his brother helped keep his memory alive. He concluded by saying that he doesn’t think most people can simply move on and forget, nor should they. Instead, he believes that embracing the tragedy and continuing to remember them is the best thing to do.

Obviously my estranged son is alive and well(hopefully) but despite that, this really resonated with me. I used to feel guilty whenever I tried to forget about my son first, because I fail at that miserably, and second, because he is my baby. He was everything to me, and then he decided to leave. I am trying to embrace the tragedy as it is. I will no longer try to delude myself, cope, or gaslight myself.

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