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Everyday Ageism

Music in care homes.

(36 Posts)
gillyknits Mon 31-Oct-16 10:09:36

The other day I was watching a programme about care homes and they had people coming in to entertain them . It got me wondering if, when I go into a home they will still be playing 'It's a long way to Tipperary' and 'Roll out the barrel'.Songs from an era that is long gone.
I would want a bit of Bon Jovi, Pink, maybe Beatles or Queen but not this antiquated rubbish that they play to eighty year olds now.

P.S.I'm sure there is a thread for this somewhere but I couldn't find it.

felice Mon 31-Oct-16 10:30:09

I so agree, when my Mum went into the care home she was 90, she doesn't like music anyway and complained loudly about having to listen to all that old rubbish. Pointing out that she was not born until 1919 so what made them think she would want to listen to it.
For once we did not cringe with embarassment at her comments.

Christinefrance Mon 31-Oct-16 10:45:02

It's so patronising, like people saying ' they will be happier with people their own age '
I don't like everyone who is 70 but do enjoy the company of some younger folk.
When I worked with adults with a learning disability it was often said ' they will be happier in a place with their own kind ' like they were a separate species - grrr

Daddima Mon 31-Oct-16 10:59:25

These guys are doing great work in Scotland, so maybe gilly might want to start making her playlist now!

gillyknits Mon 31-Oct-16 11:31:05

That's a great idea Daddima. I'll get my favourites on an I-pod and sit with my headphones on during the sing-a-longs!

Jalima Mon 31-Oct-16 11:38:40

The only thing that an elderly relative in a care home remembers is all the old songs she used to sing.
She knows no-one or nothing else, but if anyone sings to her it brings a smile to her face and she tries to sing along with them.

sarahellenwhitney Mon 31-Oct-16 13:04:28

Depends on the age of the person don't you think.? I can remember the end of WW11 before rock and roll descended upon us It was Bing Crosby, Ann Shelton Vera lynn and my favourites the Andrews Sisters and Glenn Millers band although he was lost during the war.. I have a Glen Miller cd. When I am feeling particularly low with the present events of the 21c I put this cd on.Can't stand listening to some of the wannabees these days who sound like cats in pain.

sarahellenwhitney Mon 31-Oct-16 13:06:18

Sorry, can't stand listening.

felice Mon 31-Oct-16 13:11:24

As I noted in my post, my Mum does not like music, she is totally tone deaf, and just hears noise. She did not want to take part in a sing-a-long on music she did not like.
Her brother died in WW11 and my father fought throughout, it is not a memory she wishes to remember.
When she refused to attend the sing-a-long, my cousin recieved a phone call saying she was 'behaving in an anti-social manner'.
She was not, she was quite rightly making a personal choice, wasn't she?

sarahellenwhitney Mon 31-Oct-16 13:21:56

gillyknits the antiquated rubbish you refer to was the music that was around when the majority in care homes today were young. When today's 40 year olds ie year 2056, may need care!!!yes none of us are exempt from the aging process/getting old,it will be Adele,One Direction etc etc and the like that these old folk will be singing along with.

Granny23 Mon 31-Oct-16 13:24:03

We are lucky in that we have tapes and CDs recorded by the various bands (pop, rhythm & blues, standards, Ceildh, Steel drum) that DH played in. Bittersweet to listen to them when many of the band members are long gone but the music lives on.

aggie Mon 31-Oct-16 14:28:05

OH likes Natham Carter ,I like Frank Sinatra . Hope we end up in different care homes ........ we are in our late 70s

felice Mon 31-Oct-16 14:35:13

If anyone tries to get me to listen to screaming Adele or One Direction I will definately be anti-social, what a thought aaarrrgghhh

gillyknits Mon 31-Oct-16 14:54:07

Sarahellen, I did not call it antiquated rubbish! I said it was from an era that has long gone. My point is; how many eighty year olds in care homes today actually heard war time songs on the radio when they were young? They would have heard in the Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra in their youth .

Galen Mon 31-Oct-16 15:09:54

Gilbert and Sullivan for me with perhaps a touch of Verdi and Rossini?
Oh! And throw in some Queen and Beatles while you're about it!

Luckygirl Mon 31-Oct-16 15:16:27

Now don't get me started on this! someone who runs choirs and has sung in residential homes many many times I am obsessional about the idea that the residents deserve quality and should not just be palmed off with any old rubbish - it is a darned insult to do that, but it happens all the time.

And yes I would want Beach Boys, Beatles and classical - definitely NOT Roll out the Barrel!

Charleygirl Mon 31-Oct-16 15:17:37

Yes Galen that would suit me fine, I an not a fan of Vera Lynn'S "We'll Meet Again" I am not even sure if that is the title. Being anti social I would prefer to stay in my room. I hate sing alongs now and I doubt if that will change.

BBbevan Mon 31-Oct-16 15:41:08

I would want the Rolling Stones grin

Soupy Mon 31-Oct-16 16:36:28

We did some North West morris dancing in clogs in the lounge of a Residential Care Home yesterday and a lot of people were smiling and tapping along with the music.

We did wonder if we'd be a bit loud seeing as it was inside but we've been asked back again for next year!

Swanny Mon 31-Oct-16 18:04:23

I believe there's room for all music. In fact if they're not singing the likes of Tipperary, I Love a Lassie and Burlington Bertie when I need a care home I'll be very disappointed! I remember pubs with a 'joanna' were always packed on Saturday nights in the 60s and 70s with people of all ages singing old favourites, ranging from the music hall to Anne Shelton etc. It's where my generation learned the words. I can't see tomorrow's residents being particularly keen on singing along to Eminem and Britney Spears but maybe some Beatles, Queen, Abba and Neil Diamond

NannyKasey Mon 31-Oct-16 19:04:59

What used to make me laugh was adverts for G4 and El Divo CD's with the tagline 'An ideal gift for Mother's Day'. If my kids bought me either of those then i would disinherit them. I think advertisers are finally coming round to the fact that quite a few grandparents were born in the 1960s (1964 in my case) and therefore were teenagers in the 70's and 80's.

I'm into punk and metal and would have been wearing an Iron Maiden T-Shirt when my DGD was born if she hadn't been born by C-Section.

My ex and I were seriously thinking of buying Motorhead baby vests for DGD when she was born but we thought that DD wouldn't find it funny

I'll be playing Queen, Bon Jovi, Green Day and the Black Veil Brides If I end up in a care home grin

Nelliemoser Mon 31-Oct-16 22:58:50

I would guess most current care home residents are probably late 70s upwards in age and would have known the music in the 30s/40s/50s.
If there is one thing that sticks in peoples minds even if they are starting to develop dementia is music. It would probably be a good idea to ask the residents or play a range of music and see what they would like.

I have to confess to liking some of those songs of the 1930s. It's the style I like. I think I must have lived in the 1930s in another life.

Eloethan Tue 01-Nov-16 00:20:42

There was a programme on TV some time ago about elderly people - some of them quite poorly - singing in a choir and what a wonderful experience it was for them. They were singing songs like My Generation and Fix It - and very effective it was too.

I don't mind some of the old songs but I think there should be a more varied repertoire to suit all tastes - as others have said, not everybody of the same age likes the same music.

What about trying Barcelona by Freddie Mercury and Montserrat Cabelle, Itychoo Park by the Small Faces...... (I'm joking - but it might work smile)

Synonymous Tue 01-Nov-16 01:12:50

I enjoy a wide range of music but hate having permanently piped music imposed on me. So long as you have the opportunity to get away from it everyone else can have whatever they like.
Most music will make someone smile at some point. smile

grannyactivist Tue 01-Nov-16 01:36:18

There seems to be an assumption that Care Home residents are merely passive recipients of whatever entertainment is laid on. So it may surprise some people to know that my experience of Care Homes is that residents themselves are usually the arbiters of what they do or do not want to be entertained by.
I have a dear friend, a professional singer, who pays monthly visits to the Care Home where I'm Chaplain and sings a range of songs, but always checks with residents which ones they want to hear. Those people who don't want to listen go and do something else.
I can tell you that currently the most popular songs she sings are from the musicals (of every decade) with a side order of Carol King and The Carpenters. smile