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Everyday Ageism

accepting I'm ageing

(63 Posts)
Fennel Mon 12-Nov-18 23:01:31

Feeling very upset tonight. After having a few falls and getting over them, I fell again this pm in the street. It was dark but I had a torch and thought I would be OK.
TG I didn't do much physical harm apart from my right knee.
But I take it as a sign I have to stop going out in the dark.
I want to keep my independence!

Grammaretto Tue 13-Nov-18 16:07:13

mcem I know the feeling! High shelves and low cupboards in my case . When I'm down I find it hard to get back up and I think I can reach that pan on top of the wall cupboard.
I am tempted to wear a head torch and will certainly use my walking poles when the ice starts.
Be grateful you didn't break your hip when you fell Fennel
Look after yourselves.

Charleygirl5 Tue 13-Nov-18 16:02:16

Fennel are you aware that you should be measured for using a walking stick? I think your GP should refer you to a local physio who would do this for you.

I have a pinned and plated ankle and bil. knee replacements so I cannot afford to fall. Where I live there are even mini potholes on the odd pavement and the vast majority of pavements are very uneven so I never leave the house without my stick. I walk slower now which also helps.

Venus Tue 13-Nov-18 15:55:55

I didn't go out in last winter's snow because I didn't want to fall over. What did I do? I fell over the other day and hurt my knee badly. It just happens. I don't think we pick our feet up enough as we get older, we tend to shuffle. Just pick your feet up more Fennel, and I'm sure you'll be ok.

mcem Tue 13-Nov-18 14:28:57

After turning 70 in March (not a big deal) I then fell and broke my femur in June! My own fault. I rarely wear heels but did on a dressy day out. Heel caught the kerb and down I went!
My ex-h (still a friend) also 'celebrated' his 70th and then fell from a stepladder breaking several ribs!
The hardest part of this has been accepting that help is sometimes needed! Having someone else change a lightbulb? Allowing anyone to carry a shopping bag?
Boy oh boy, has 70 been a turning point!

PECS Tue 13-Nov-18 14:23:15

Fennel if it is any comfort to you the two occasions when I have fallen flat were when I was considerably younger than my current 67 yrs! I caght my foot on some steps when on holiday in Italy..in broad daylight.. no alcohol involved! 2nd time was early evening one November and I tripped on the edge of a drain cover as I got to the kerb. I fell flat, hands in pockets? as it was wet! I badly grazed my face & I still have a scar.
The point of my post is it may not be age related... if you feel unsafe try finding a pal to go out with you in dark evenings to build up confidence again. Good luck ?

CaroleAnne Tue 13-Nov-18 13:41:09

Have you thought of being referred to the falls clinic at your local hospital. If you have a problem they could be of help. Carole.

grandtanteJE65 Tue 13-Nov-18 13:39:20

Fennel, I don't know how old you are, but I am 66 and fell two years ago because a paving stone was out of alignment with the rest of the pavement. And if that sort of thing caused your fall, then it can happen to anyone of any age.

Do you wear glasses? If so, perhaps having your eyes tested would be a good idea, as when I am due for new glasses I find it more difficult to judge whether paths and pavements are level or not.

I hope your knee is better, mine took simply ages, so I hope you are more fortunate.

If you dislike the thought of a walking stick, perhaps a very sturdy shopping-bag or basket on wheels would make you feel and be more secure on your feet.

SueDonim Tue 13-Nov-18 12:59:43

even get ones

SueDonim Tue 13-Nov-18 12:59:19

I'm sorry you've had such a nasty experience, Fennel. I know how it knocks your confidence as I fell on my own driveway and broke my leg in two places some five years ago. Admittedly, I was rushing about in the semi-gloom of an autumn evening but I've now got an abundance of caution about walking around outside.

A stick is a very good idea indeed as you can use it to feel your way and as support. You can even ones with little torches in them.

Tish Tue 13-Nov-18 12:54:04

Sorry to hear you’ve had a fall, very scary especially in the dark.... have you considered a head torch... great for keeping your hands free...

GrandyC Tue 13-Nov-18 12:52:53

Thinking about you, Fennel. xxx

icanhandthemback Tue 13-Nov-18 11:44:57

Fennel, if you don't know for sure how you fell (you sound like you are surmising), then you really should get a blood test done at the GP's. Sometimes it is something minor like your electrolytes being out of balance or sometimes it can be indicative of something else fixable but more major. My mother fell recently and it turned out that she no longer needed her blood pressure medication. Another time, her magnesium (I think) was out of kilter. Both times it was easily fixable and she didn't feel she had to reduce her independence.

Mildred Tue 13-Nov-18 11:31:40

Fennel I know how you feel, I have broken my wrist and six months later fell again and broke my elbow. I walk with a stick now and always scan the ground ahead. Although it is 18 months since I broke my elbow I have not got my confidence back. I hate using a stick but do because I don’t want to break any more bones. I have been doing exercise to improve my balance but wish I still bounced like my grandchildren.

DotMH1901 Tue 13-Nov-18 11:03:18

Fennel, have you had your ears checked by the GP? Perhaps you have an inner ear infection that is making your balance unreliable maybe? If that's not the answer then perhaps think about a walking stick? There are some lovely ones about these days, one of my younger friends who is unsteady on her feet has a beautifully carved one that was made for her. I would also have a look at the state of the path/pavement where you fell, perhaps it needs to be repaired?

Nanny41 Tue 13-Nov-18 11:00:15

Fennel I hope your knee gets better soon.
Dont give up your independance, it is so important to keep that, as others have said maybe a stick or a pole and if at night a torch is essential. I always look down as I have verifocals,and need to do this, especially in the dark.Good luck and take care.

mabon1 Tue 13-Nov-18 10:54:09

Did you fall or trip over something? If the former go to see your GP sharpish just in case!!

dragonfly46 Tue 13-Nov-18 10:44:54

Fennel So sorry to hear this but I think a stick is the answer. It is hard to accept ageing but as they say it is better than the alternative.
Our doctor has referred my mum to a Falls clinic so maybe that is the answer and you may find out why you are falling.

Anniebach Tue 13-Nov-18 10:32:12

Fennel I am so sorry, I certaintly understand how you feel, I can’t offer advice. I have taken the choice to use a walking aid and hope this will help me tackle the front path, if I succeed I will go further, either that or stay in doors.

I hope you will find a way to continue going out x

Fennel Tue 13-Nov-18 10:27:02

Thanks for all your kind (and sensible) replies.
I think a stick or 2 is the answer. I don't want to be shut in the house all winter. And I need the exercise too.
Where I fell there was an upward slope and I think my left foot hit that and sent me over. I always fall to my right.

BellaT2 Tue 13-Nov-18 10:10:02

How is your eyesight? I’m asking because I tripped and fell over a paving stone one evening - when I went to look the next day it was really quite obvious but I just hadn’t seen it. I became quite nervous about walking at night, doing those little shuffling tiptoe steps and feeling really decrepit. I didn’t think about using a stick, but it seems like a really good idea. BUT THEN I had a cataract removed a few weeks ago and the improvement in my vision is amazing - even at night. I feel so much more confident because I CAN SEE! smile Please have your eyes checked, and if there is a hint of a cataract, push for an operation. Hope your bruises heal soon.

Rosina Tue 13-Nov-18 10:05:08

You may just have been extremely unlucky with uneven pavements - so sorry that you have had these nasty experiences as they really do shake you up. I fell and broke my arm earlier this year and it has made me so wary - but slowly confidence is returning . A stick is actually very handy indeed - really helps with balance on uneven ground and you don't have to use it all the time - perhaps when you go out in the dark?

Sandigold Tue 13-Nov-18 10:03:24

Hi Fennel, I do agree about getting checked out in case there is a specific physical cause which can be treated. There's no need to feel gloomy about the future! There is a lot you can do to enjoy the best possible health for as long as possible. I do holistic health and wellbeing coaching. Happy to chat if you wish. All the best!

glammanana Tue 13-Nov-18 09:49:09

Fennel I do hope you are feeling better after your fall it can really shake you up I know,flat sturdy non slip soled shoes may help and the aid of a walking stick could help you, I have never really regained my confidence when out walking either day or night time after my really bad fall when I broke my shoulder over 3 yrs ago.

midgey Tue 13-Nov-18 09:28:49

Sounds like a horrid experience but I agree with others, get yourself checked out and look for an exercise class for your age group. When I signed up to pilates the other person joining was 95! Hope your knee feels less painful this morning.

Willow500 Tue 13-Nov-18 09:17:35

Fennel did you trip over something or just lose your balance and fall? If it was the latter its probably worth getting a check with the doctor just to make sure it's not your ears causing the problem. Hope your knee is not hurting too badly this morning.