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Everyday Ageism

accepting I'm ageing

(62 Posts)
Fennel Mon 12-Nov-18 23:01:31

Feeling very upset tonight. After having a few falls and getting over them, I fell again this pm in the street. It was dark but I had a torch and thought I would be OK.
TG I didn't do much physical harm apart from my right knee.
But I take it as a sign I have to stop going out in the dark.
I want to keep my independence!

cornergran Mon 12-Nov-18 23:15:50

Sounds a horribly difficult decision fennel. I wouldn’t want to put you at risk but I’m wondering if there was a reason you fell. Was there an uneven paving stone, a high kerb, something lying in the floor? Anything unusual?

I’m sorry if this sounds like prying but is there a physical reason? Have you been checked out by a doctor since you began to fall?

It’s just that I’m thinking after an accident is not a good time to be making decisions. I guess keeping your independence can happen in many ways, certainly being in one piece is a start. I think if it were me I’d seek medical advice then make a decision about walking alone after dark. I might think it best to use a stick or perhaps two, consider a taxi or even travel with a friend if that were possible.

Hope the knee mends very soon and wishing you well. I really hope you can keep doing what you want to do, even if you need to adapt the way you do it.

mumofmadboys Tue 13-Nov-18 06:11:38

Would a head torch help? I live in the Lakes and they are used commonly here. I guess they may look unusual in towns but they are so practical.

Alima Tue 13-Nov-18 06:53:33

I hope you are feeling better Fennel and your knee is ok. Would it help if you took a walking stick with you, give you more confidence. DH got one online when he had his hip done, they do some quite jazzy ones now.

kittylester Tue 13-Nov-18 07:09:37

Good post Alima.

NanKate Tue 13-Nov-18 07:51:46

If ever I feel a bit shaky I use a walking pole and it gives me the confidence to go walking and to know I can keep myself upright. I also go to Keep Fit. Our age range is 60s up to 97 and we are taught simple balancing exercises, which you can no doubt find online. Best of luck.

CocoPops Tue 13-Nov-18 08:00:34

I don't find it easy to accept ageing either. However, has a course "Ageing well: Falls". It's not running at the moment but if you register your interest you should get an email to tell when it going to start. Other gransnetters have recommended it and I'm going to do it.
Meantime exercises to improve balance, shoes with anti-slip soles, a walking stick, a torch and keep smiling! smile

GrannyGravy13 Tue 13-Nov-18 08:10:17

Fennel I hope you are on the mend soon.

PamelaJ1 Tue 13-Nov-18 08:40:28

I gave my mother a couple of walking poles. Four legs are better than two. She says she doesn’t feel as geriatric with poles as she might with a stick.🤔
Anything to keep doing what you like to do seems worth a try.

Gran2028 Tue 13-Nov-18 08:56:36

In Scotland there is a 'Falls Pathway', which sounds kind of bazaar but anyone over a certain age who experiences a fall would automatically get a physio ireferral/assessment and be given a programme to promote their balance and thus improve confidence. Perhaps you could enquire thru your gp surgery or district nurses??
Head torches are wonderful, now available incorporated in knitted hats!
Please act on this now as folk get isolated so quickly and its such a shame to lose your independence /social life over this.

Teetime Tue 13-Nov-18 08:57:51

Fennel I'm so sorry you have these nasty experiences. My Mother did this quite often and absolutely refused a walking stick or any other aid. I have had two for several years now and I use them especially in uneven walking conditions/ice/ snow etc. I do think getting yourself checked out is also good advice- sometimes there is a physical cause which can be fixed like adjusting your medication.

Greyduster Tue 13-Nov-18 09:13:04

It knocks your confidence doesn’t it? I had a fall recently in a shopping centre, striding along, I slipped on a small piece of bread someone had dropped. It has made me very wary when I go anywhere now where there is glazed tiling on the floor. I no longer stride anywhere and am constantly looking down at the floor. I never gave it a thought before. Similarly, I never used walking poles before I had a knee injury crossing some moorland. Frankly they are a bloody nuisance, but now they are essential to me to test any “iffy” looking ground and basically just to keep me upright. It slows you right down and spoils your enjoyment of just being out.

Willow500 Tue 13-Nov-18 09:17:35

Fennel did you trip over something or just lose your balance and fall? If it was the latter its probably worth getting a check with the doctor just to make sure it's not your ears causing the problem. Hope your knee is not hurting too badly this morning.

midgey Tue 13-Nov-18 09:28:49

Sounds like a horrid experience but I agree with others, get yourself checked out and look for an exercise class for your age group. When I signed up to pilates the other person joining was 95! Hope your knee feels less painful this morning.

glammanana Tue 13-Nov-18 09:49:09

Fennel I do hope you are feeling better after your fall it can really shake you up I know,flat sturdy non slip soled shoes may help and the aid of a walking stick could help you, I have never really regained my confidence when out walking either day or night time after my really bad fall when I broke my shoulder over 3 yrs ago.

Sandigold Tue 13-Nov-18 10:03:24

Hi Fennel, I do agree about getting checked out in case there is a specific physical cause which can be treated. There's no need to feel gloomy about the future! There is a lot you can do to enjoy the best possible health for as long as possible. I do holistic health and wellbeing coaching. Happy to chat if you wish. All the best!

Rosina Tue 13-Nov-18 10:05:08

You may just have been extremely unlucky with uneven pavements - so sorry that you have had these nasty experiences as they really do shake you up. I fell and broke my arm earlier this year and it has made me so wary - but slowly confidence is returning . A stick is actually very handy indeed - really helps with balance on uneven ground and you don't have to use it all the time - perhaps when you go out in the dark?

BellaT2 Tue 13-Nov-18 10:10:02

How is your eyesight? I’m asking because I tripped and fell over a paving stone one evening - when I went to look the next day it was really quite obvious but I just hadn’t seen it. I became quite nervous about walking at night, doing those little shuffling tiptoe steps and feeling really decrepit. I didn’t think about using a stick, but it seems like a really good idea. BUT THEN I had a cataract removed a few weeks ago and the improvement in my vision is amazing - even at night. I feel so much more confident because I CAN SEE! smile Please have your eyes checked, and if there is a hint of a cataract, push for an operation. Hope your bruises heal soon.

Fennel Tue 13-Nov-18 10:27:02

Thanks for all your kind (and sensible) replies.
I think a stick or 2 is the answer. I don't want to be shut in the house all winter. And I need the exercise too.
Where I fell there was an upward slope and I think my left foot hit that and sent me over. I always fall to my right.

Anniebach Tue 13-Nov-18 10:32:12

Fennel I am so sorry, I certaintly understand how you feel, I can’t offer advice. I have taken the choice to use a walking aid and hope this will help me tackle the front path, if I succeed I will go further, either that or stay in doors.

I hope you will find a way to continue going out x

dragonfly46 Tue 13-Nov-18 10:44:54

Fennel So sorry to hear this but I think a stick is the answer. It is hard to accept ageing but as they say it is better than the alternative.
Our doctor has referred my mum to a Falls clinic so maybe that is the answer and you may find out why you are falling.

mabon1 Tue 13-Nov-18 10:54:09

Did you fall or trip over something? If the former go to see your GP sharpish just in case!!

Nanny41 Tue 13-Nov-18 11:00:15

Fennel I hope your knee gets better soon.
Dont give up your independance, it is so important to keep that, as others have said maybe a stick or a pole and if at night a torch is essential. I always look down as I have verifocals,and need to do this, especially in the dark.Good luck and take care.

DotMH1901 Tue 13-Nov-18 11:03:18

Fennel, have you had your ears checked by the GP? Perhaps you have an inner ear infection that is making your balance unreliable maybe? If that's not the answer then perhaps think about a walking stick? There are some lovely ones about these days, one of my younger friends who is unsteady on her feet has a beautifully carved one that was made for her. I would also have a look at the state of the path/pavement where you fell, perhaps it needs to be repaired?

Mildred Tue 13-Nov-18 11:31:40

Fennel I know how you feel, I have broken my wrist and six months later fell again and broke my elbow. I walk with a stick now and always scan the ground ahead. Although it is 18 months since I broke my elbow I have not got my confidence back. I hate using a stick but do because I don’t want to break any more bones. I have been doing exercise to improve my balance but wish I still bounced like my grandchildren.