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Everyday Ageism

Older couples holding hands

(84 Posts)
Fennel Tue 18-Dec-18 21:51:21

I was reading a report about a couple in their 80s being rescued after a car accident. They were holding hands.
We live in a busy NE town and often see older couples walking round holding hands. Or arms. We don't see the younger ones doing the same.
I think it's lovely, even though perhaps it's to give support on the uneven pavements here. We've started to do the same, grateful to have eachother.

Saggi Wed 19-Dec-18 16:22:23

My husband would never hold hands even when we were courting! I should’ve been wary then of his total lack of ability to show any emotion ( he seems afraid of it? ) We have been married 46 years and not once has he held my hand or have I seen him shed a tear. His mother was exactly the same !! Huis lack of empathy for anything or anybody has exhausted me over the years. I envy you all having this sort of loving relationship.

Gaggi3 Wed 19-Dec-18 15:32:34

A bit envious as DH has never been a hand-holder, except with DC and DGC. though we do link arms quite often. Mustn't complain though, at least we are still together (53 years) and I know he loves me. So sad for all those missing someone flowers

harrigran Wed 19-Dec-18 15:31:03

DH and I hold hands, been doing it for 55 years and have no plans to stop now, we even go to sleep holding hands.

He does not own me or steer me, it is mutual love.

oldbatty Wed 19-Dec-18 15:22:30

I hate it.

GabriellaG54 Wed 19-Dec-18 15:10:49

I'm not keen on hand holding. It seems like ownership and I don't want to be steered here and there or block pavements as there are two of you abreast.
I have linked arms with my daughters on occasion but I don't particularly like seeing oldies holding hands. Each to his own.

Greyduster Wed 19-Dec-18 15:04:16

queenof ?!

queenofsaanich69 Wed 19-Dec-18 14:26:20

My husband & I have held hands for 52 years .They probably don't do it nowadays as they need 2 hands to use their phones !

Teetime Wed 19-Dec-18 14:25:24

We are hand holders too and will grab each others hands I the night if we wake.

minxie Wed 19-Dec-18 14:23:42

We always hold hands when out, and it’s always instigated by him indoors. It feels odd now if we don’t as we have together 20 years. long may it continue

cangran Wed 19-Dec-18 12:52:02

I am envious of couples who hold hands and generally seem to be 'together'. My husband speeds on ahead of me; now I accept this is the way it is (if I try to keep up, I have to dodge people, trees, objects in the way anyway) but I do still feel a touch of sadness when I see how close some older couples seem to be.

sodapop Wed 19-Dec-18 12:48:05

I agree Gilly1952 times change.

<<hugs>> for everyone who wants one at Christmas tchsmile

Gilly1952 Wed 19-Dec-18 12:42:20

The young couples nowadays are too pre-occupied holding their mobile phones and texting!

Mycatisahacker Wed 19-Dec-18 12:27:25

Always hold hands! Can’t imagine not doing so. We are 50.

annep Wed 19-Dec-18 12:23:00

Wilma and Kerno...so sweet.

Solitaire Wed 19-Dec-18 11:48:52

Not for me! Holding hands I feel is restrictive, like holding a child's hand to keep them safe and out of trouble..... or just loving them, but not for adults.

knickas63 Wed 19-Dec-18 11:32:28

My OH has always helpd my hand. He always said it is for one of two reasons. To stop me shopping, and to stop me killing myself walking out in front of a car to get to a shop! LOL

Day6 Wed 19-Dec-18 11:23:47

Guineagirl - I am saddened to hear it. I wasn't loved or cherished when I was married either. It took me twenty years to realise it and do something about it. sad Try to make yourself happy if you can. It is draining and damaging being with a person who is cold.

My OH is very different. He is affectionate which took some getting used to (but not in a cloying way. I couldn't stand that!)

grannyactivist Wed 19-Dec-18 11:16:23

seadragon is that you in the photo?

The Wonderful Man is not naturally romantic or particularly touchy-feely, but he really does try. When we're out together he will hold my hand occasionally, but as he's another who does route-marches rather than strolling I often have to grasp his hand to reign him back.

Harmonygranny Wed 19-Dec-18 10:57:39

Wonderful! ?

Mindy5 Wed 19-Dec-18 10:55:23

We always hold hands outdoors, even in shops. It used to be just a natural thing to do but now, in addition, it's a safety measure to stop me from sharing my face with the pavement; I tend to trip up a lot! Hey ho! I say it's 'those rotten sandals again', he says 'no it's your rotten feet'.

newnanny Wed 19-Dec-18 10:28:39

We hold hands too. Not just when out and about, in bed when chatting, sitting on sofa. It is nice to feel connected.

luluaugust Wed 19-Dec-18 10:27:28

Congratulation knspol. We are a couple of hand holders, both holding each other up after all this time!

knspol Wed 19-Dec-18 10:18:46

48 years today and still holding hands when out and about (unless of course we're arguing, not speaking, or one of us is sulking etc etc)

Charlieb Wed 19-Dec-18 10:10:51

We always held hands , sadly due to my M S he has to push me in a wheelchair , but that doesn’t stop us holding hands while sat on the sofa and in bed before we go to sleep.
Yes disease may have robbed me of my freedom but thank goodness it hasn’t robbed me of his love .

henetha Wed 19-Dec-18 10:08:38

I miss holding hands more than I can possibly put into words. We always did.