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Everyday Ageism

Photoshop addiction

(38 Posts)
Nata Tue 10-Mar-20 08:31:21

My grandchildren (two teen girls of 14 and 16 y.o.) spend a lot of time on their social networks and constantly improve their profile pictures in order to look better. They even managed to find some wrinkles on their young faces and not they can't post or even send to me a picture without changing it somehow in Photoshop. I tried to explain them that there is nothing wrong with them and there is nothing wrong in getting older whatsoever but they wouldn't listen to me. Have you faced the same problem? My sonm their dad, thinks it is a "period" for them while I'm afraid it may led to huge problems with insecurity in the future (if not already).

Marydoll Tue 10-Mar-20 08:47:08

Nata, I could be mistaken, but I haven't noticed you posting before , so welcome! You sound a very caring gran.

I don't mean to sound harsh and I understand where you are coming from, but in my opinion, you are overthinking this, times have changed dramatically from when our children were young.
I would tend to ignore it, there are worse things to worry about with teenagers. The more you go on about it, the more they will do it.
You obviously love your granddaughters, but take a step back and just enjoy their company, you don't want them to remember you as a nagging gran. They will soon tire of it. It's their parents role to deal with this if they think it is getting out of hand.

As a teacher, involved in IT, I found these things were a usually phase. Children discovered new technology and everyone was using it, They soon got bored and moved on to the next new App.

Try not to worry.

FearlessSwiftie Tue 10-Mar-20 09:18:54

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FearlessSwiftie Tue 10-Mar-20 09:21:22

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Nata Tue 10-Mar-20 09:24:04

@Marydoll thank you! I've been here for a while but I'm not much of a poster, I prefer reading mostly.

I know it may be just a phase for them but I'm afraid that in the age of Instagram and other not-so-healthy beauty standards it is not a good sign. Wrinkles at 14, could you imagine that?

I truly hope they won't stick to it for a long time, thank you for your support.

Nata Tue 10-Mar-20 09:30:37

@FearlessSwiftie oh yeah, I agree with you! The models are everywhere and they are so pretty, no wonder the girls want to look as fab.

I didn't think about giving them some beauty advice but you are right, it would be more helpful! @Marydoll I also agree that I should't be a nagging gran nor do I want to become one.

@FearlessSwiftie I haven't mentioned their mother because she doen't live with the family and she have never been married to my son. I'm not sure whether my son contacts her sometimes because their breakup was a bitter story. The girls have their aunt, though, my son's step-sister. They communicate quite fine.

Marydoll Tue 10-Mar-20 09:51:15

Nata, their mum not being about, does put a different slant on things.

Just keep on being the loving and supportive gran you obviously are and I'm sure it will work out fine.

If you want to highlight a posters name, like most posters do when replying, put a * at the beginning and end of the name, without any spaces. Just in case you didn't know that trick.

Nata Tue 10-Mar-20 09:54:33

Marydoll thanks!!! I've seen people doing it multiple times and the instruction says I should put @ before the poster's name but it never worked.

Nata Tue 10-Mar-20 09:58:06

Marydoll their mother has been away for a long time, I'm not sure the her youngest daughter remembers her.

Their aunt is very caring and she says my granddaughters are like her own daughters to her (she doesn't have a family of her own). She came from the loving family and she is a very nice person herself. She doesn't see the photo situation as a problem either, so maybe it is just me being overprotective.

Marydoll Tue 10-Mar-20 10:18:26

Success, Nata! Look forward to seeing more of your posts! smile

paddyanne Tue 10-Mar-20 10:24:49

I dont like it but I dont know if its harmful .I think its quite odd to always change your looks in photos,my DIL does it and sometimes its hard to recognise who she is in her images.
My fear about the young GD's is that they will become unhappy with their mirror image and be tempted to cosmetic surgery to "fix" the things they photoshop.Its sad to be unhappy with your self.I've had image problems all my life and I'm glad these apps weren't around when I was growing up.make up and diets were though and I've dieted all my life...never resorted to surgery

Nata Tue 10-Mar-20 10:39:50

paddyanne yes, that's my biggest fear too! Image problems are hard to overcome and I don't want my GD's to have them. Apparently their addiction to photoshopping makes me feel like they already have them.

paddyanne Tue 10-Mar-20 11:20:27

Can I just add that its normal NOT to like yourself in photos.I photograph around 250 young people every few weeks ,without fail the first thing they say is I HATE MYSELF IN PHOTOS .One young woman told me she takes at least 50 selfies before she gets one that can look OK and look great AFTER sh's worked on it

Marydoll Tue 10-Mar-20 11:28:13

I always try NOT to be in photos! My daughter is getting married in two weeks and I'm dreading the taking of photos.

Nata Tue 10-Mar-20 11:38:58

Yeah, I know it is OK and I also don't feel happy all the time when I see myself in the picture. But to my mind the idea that we should accept ourselves as we are is very important. You can't always hide behind the photoshop, can you?

MarieEliza Tue 10-Mar-20 11:45:24

I have a granddaughter who is almost 13 in Tasmania and she has just started taking interest in her appearance but thankfully the high school has so many activities for adolescents that she is now pouring her energies into rowing and music so she isn’t obsessed about her face and figure. Hope Tasmania doesn’t become like so many other places where appearance is the be all and end all

polnan Tue 10-Mar-20 11:46:12

yes, it is the way of the world now.

my eldest gs, had a gf,, now no longer... and she wouldn`t be seen without her false eyelashes, heavy makeup, and hair additions... how sad is it ? and a lot more goes on that that...

anxiousgran Tue 10-Mar-20 11:47:58

My niece posted pictures of herself on Facebook, pouty, very made-up and airbrushed. I didn’t like it, she looks so much better natural.

My DB (her dad) hadn’t seen them as he isn’t on her Facebook friends. I only mentioned it casually, thinking he’d have seen them. He was a bit put out.

I do think it is a phase and very common. I wouldn’t mention it to my niece, she wouldn’t take any more more notice of me than I would have of my parents as a teenager.

Phloembundle Tue 10-Mar-20 11:51:41

You won't get them to accept themselves for the way they are and twas ever thus. There is even more pressure on them now with social media. Hopefully, the wisdom of maturity will help them one day.

HillyN Tue 10-Mar-20 12:00:39

When you see them, I would just comment casually that you much prefer their actual faces to the ones in the pictures.
On the plus side, they now understand that images they see of models, celebrities etc are photoshopped and nobody looks that perfect in real life!

Moth62 Tue 10-Mar-20 12:15:41

marydoll my advice is not to worry about the wedding photos. The smile on your face for the whole day will be the best beauty treatment ever and ensure you will look gorgeous! It’s a shame that young ones can’t laugh and enjoy life more, thus giving them the same free beauty treatment

Kalu Tue 10-Mar-20 12:18:22

GD, 14 is going through this stage too suddenly, even the pouting lips look! All sharing these photos. She thankfully appears to be fed up with it now along with her close peer group.

I think this is a stage many teenage girls go through as they are still being told, when menstruating begins, you are a woman now!

I’ve had chats with GD explaining what she sees in the mirror and in photos isn’t her true image as she herself has said when seeing photos of me has said, that just doesn’t look like you Granny. Showing her photos of celebs, minus make up, was an eye opener as many looked better without the makeup mask.

I’m afraid it is just a very sad sign of the times when our young girls are bombarded via social media with so many so called ‘celebs’ held up as roll models.?

sweetcakes Tue 10-Mar-20 12:32:57

It's when the mums start Photoshopping the babies and posting them on Facebook, what's next I wonder.

anxiousgran Tue 10-Mar-20 12:38:14

What’s with the pouty thing young women do? I always finding it a bit embarrassing when I see it.

I tried it in the mirror and my thin old lips looked like a dog’s bottom ?

Nata Tue 10-Mar-20 13:11:59

Oh, ladies, thank you for so many answers and support! I hope it will be fine with the girls and they will get tired of it soon AND I definitely will help them with self care and will drop the hints here and there that they look so much better when natural! Thank you!