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Everyday Ageism

The Golden Years, what's your take?

(92 Posts)
Spangler Wed 29-Jul-20 15:37:24

There's a crude poem about getting old, I won't print it all but if you want to see it just Google the last two lines:
"The Golden Years Have Come At Last.
The Golden Years Can Kiss My **!
When I was 19, I remember coming out of a dance venue as the heavens opened up. As luck would have it I saw a taxi with the "For Hire" sign lit up. I hailed the cab, and as it pulled over and I made a dash through the rain, a little old lady got in the way. We did one of those street dances, I went left, so did she. I went right, so did she. To my eternal shame I muttered: "Doddering old fogey." She heard me. A crooked arthritic index finger was raised. "You'll be old," she screeched. "Not as old as you," I replied and just laughed as I jumped into the taxi.

Down through the decades that voice has rattled around my head whenever some age related medical complaint has risen. And now I am old, or so the distance between my birth and now dictates.

How do I deal with it, much the same way as when I was young really. We struck lucky in that we bought a house in Hackney in East London when it was a district you only lived in because you either had to, as in a council house, or you couldn't afford to buy a property elsewhere. Then somehow Hackney became a hotspot, it became gentrified, desirable. When we sold up we made a tidy profit. Who would have thought?

Today, we enjoy a wonderful social life with a wide circle of friends, a great mix of generations and although we don't have any children, our Godchildren who have all grown up and whose weddings we attended have all produced their own children. It's like surrogate Grandchildren.

My wife and I have known each other for over 54 years, been married for 52 of them. Now retired, she indulges her life long passion of making her own clothes, and others, mostly mine, but recently she made a friend's wedding dress. She has a bespoke cabin that I treated her to, a collection of vintage sewing machines adorn the cabin walls and she has a couple of modern machines and an overlocker. She loses herself in her cabin.

My hobbies are the old vintage car that I have and a collection of records that go back to the pre-war swing era, I have a jukebox to play them on. My other hobby is work. I get some flak about that, but as my wife said, "If he's happy working, let him do it. There's not many who can say that they get paid for indulging in their hobby." I only work two shifts a week, job sharing with someone whose military pension left him with too much month at the end of his money.

We have been life long ballroom dancers and it was dancing that got us into the social circle that we so enjoy. The lockdown, or house arrest as I prefer to call it, has curtailed this year's events and that's how I managed to get on line. Never had the time nor the inclination previously. Well not exactly, I have lurked on this site for quite a long time. Reading about other's grandchildren and other facets of life is fascinating.

It's curious to me, I certainly don't want to live forever, on the other hand, I love life, not ready to pop off just yet. But this getting old malarky does have a few pitfalls, like the hip replacement that I had a while back. That, coupled with the house arrest, is going to make tripping the light fantastic something of a challenge when our release date comes. But in the meantime the everyday posts here keep me motivated.

Callistemon Fri 31-Jul-20 22:25:49

Thank you kitty.
My friend was a bit older than me and had had some ill health but it was still unexpected. She didn't have Covid as they tested her for that.
She was fun and feisty and always had interesting stories to tell us.

kittylester Fri 31-Jul-20 17:22:56

Callistemon

^What's my take^?

Enjoy it while you are fit enough to do so, although this Covid has put restrictions on us all now.
I just heard that a friend has died; although she had been ill and not at all sprightly for a while, we were looking forward to a get-together soon, lunch out and a laugh. sad

So sorry to hear that callistemon. I'm sure you have happy memories.

annep1 Fri 31-Jul-20 17:17:24

I'm glad so many are enjoying their golden years so much. A positive attitude is so important but so is good health. Its a bit wearing when there's lots you want to do and can't a lot of the time. So enjoy it while you can. For some of us television, books and gransnet is as good as it gets some days.

Kim19 Fri 31-Jul-20 16:30:40

Spangler, thank you for this. Such a joy to have all positives with only one dissenter out of two pages so far. I am alone but never lonely. Obviously I'd rather have my husband here. That goes without saying but I do try to honour his exsistence by not being a moper. That would have made him sad. Above all the regular joys in my life such as family and friends, I am daily grateful for the reasonable health I seem to have landed with. Neither overly abused or indulged my body but guess I must have inherited some good genes. Yes, I can honestly say, for me, life is good. I only wish it were so for many of the contributors here who sometimes write so eloquently of hardships endured and overcome. I salute them unreservedly.

TwiceAsNice Fri 31-Jul-20 15:41:25

I’m 67 living on my own after divorce and so much happier. Living very near both daughters and grandchildren so very involved in their lives. Going on Holiday on Sunday with them and family friends so looking forward to that after the misery of lockdown.

I still work 2 days a week to supplement my pensions . I moved from Wales to SE , much more expensive but worth every penny to be near my children.

I miss my welsh friends , haven’t seen them since Dec but life is good and my health is pretty ok . I have a lovely cat and hobbies I enjoy I hope to have quite a few years left yet.

Sawsage2 Fri 31-Jul-20 15:24:45

Some of us are lucky, some not. I'm ok but lots of worry regarding 16 year old out of control granddaughter.

Kate1949 Fri 31-Jul-20 14:30:22

I don't see it as boasting. It's just a comment on how we've got to where we are despite, in many cases, overcoming awful difficulties. I'm 71 and have never thought of myself as 'sprightly'. What an odd word.

undecided Fri 31-Jul-20 14:08:51

I have just turned 70 and really enjoy my life now. Few nasty ups and downs on the way - I left my husband 7 years ago and found my long lost independence and how I love it - still got a few more hills to climb but will get there. However, I do now feel frustrated as I am beginning to realise that although I still love my independence and do not regret anything, I cannot enjoy doing the things I used to as a couple. I still do not have the confidence to go to many gatherings on my own. I do also realise now that having a partner/friend to share things with so much better although I do have family who are so supportive. Covid has now also curtailed many outings and getherings that I enjoyed so I am so looking forwrd to when it all finishes and we can all get on and start enjoying what time we have.
Oh dear, maybe this has turned out to be a moan but it is not meant to - even at 70 we are still learning about ourselves and life is still presenting new experiences.

Orangerose Fri 31-Jul-20 14:01:48

I have and a collection of records that go back to the pre-war swing era, I have a jukebox to play them on.

Spangler I love jukeboxes What kind do you have?

craftyone Fri 31-Jul-20 13:18:20

up there = back to cumbria plus I was 71 when I actually moved here

craftyone Fri 31-Jul-20 13:15:49

I am 72 and a half and have just taken up road cycling on a proper road bike, it took this long because I found a company that now makes road bikes for small seniors. I have had a lifeltime of pottering on bikes but now, at long last, I can go very fast and also carry my bike and I wear 50% lycra and lorry drivers always give me cheery waves

50 was probably the best decade because the AC were becoming settled, we could save and paid off the mortgage and I still had a husband and we went on nice holidays. 60 decade was also good but life changing when I became widowed. I girded myself up and started to use his tools and added more ie started new crafting as well as house maintenance.

Sold and moved at 72, packed up by myself and painted where needed on the old house up a long ladder secured with rope. I haven`t finished yet, trying to become proficient at wood carving, was going to a group and classes. Now am looking to the future, still very healthy, all organic food, much is my own home grown as I built a potager out of builders mank. Good heart rate, slightly overweight, no meds

My future, By 80 I will have gone full circle and, fingers crossed, I will be following dd up there if she and her family decide to go and I think they will. I, again, will sort out my own new house after all 80 is the new 60. I have plans and optimisms and that is key to acting younger than physical age

sodapop Fri 31-Jul-20 13:02:13

Sorry to hear that TATT hope things get better for you soon.

I remarried at at 59 and moved to France where we have enjoyed a real change of lifestyle. I have enjoyed my golden years so far. My family have had their ups and downs of course but all seem settled now (fingers crossed)

TATT Fri 31-Jul-20 12:51:03

I made some very unwise decisions in my life and career. Chickens home and roosting now.

Destin Fri 31-Jul-20 12:50:06

Thank you Spangler for such an enjoyable read as I sit here drinking my cup of tea on this beautiful bright sun-shiney morning. Oh yes, life is good at this age for sure....married for 56 going on 57 years .....one of us early 80’s and the other late 70’s! We’ve made some careful choices and weaved our way around some difficult decisions, lived in three different countries, had some life changing experiences..... and arrived at this point in our lives with much gratitude .....for our health, for our family and for each other!

Aepgirl Fri 31-Jul-20 12:06:19

My golden years were when my daughter was young, particularly before going to school. How I loved doing all the things that my parents couldn't afford to do with me (but I didn't realise at the time), as well as jumping in puddles, running through freshly fallen leaves, etc. How I miss all that now.

SillyNanny321 Fri 31-Jul-20 11:22:52

Sometimes I wish I had not made mistakes & maybe taken a different path. Lockdown made me sad being old & alone. Now with visits to or from my lovely Family make me so happy for the way my life has gone as I have my lovely DS, DDiL, DGS & DGD. Life is not so bad after all ?

Jillybird Fri 31-Jul-20 11:15:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Callistemon Fri 31-Jul-20 10:58:15

What's my take?

Enjoy it while you are fit enough to do so, although this Covid has put restrictions on us all now.
I just heard that a friend has died; although she had been ill and not at all sprightly for a while, we were looking forward to a get-together soon, lunch out and a laugh. sad

Rosina Fri 31-Jul-20 10:55:25

I am probably happier and more at peace than at any time in my life. I live in a beautiful county, I have dogs and cats, a house full of books, good neighbours. My children are, finally, happy and making good lives. I think Wendy Cope says it all for me, and as for seventy? I love it!

^There was drama enough in my turbulent past:
Tears and passion - I've used up a tankful.
No news is good news, and long may it last,
If nothing much happens, I'm thankful.
A happier cabbage you never did see,
My vegetable spirits are soaring.
If you're after excitement, steer well clear of me.
I want to go on being boring.^

Lettice Fri 31-Jul-20 10:30:27

Oh Nannan2 - why?

Nannan2 Fri 31-Jul-20 10:27:37

Not all the posts, but some that do mention second homes& carribean trips and things that they own etc....

Nannan2 Fri 31-Jul-20 10:22:33

Actually most of it on this post is about you old folk who have more than some crowing & boasting about it really- i cant abide that- i thought ' living life to the full' (especially in old age) was all about still being sprightly & getting out & about doing things that made you happy, and 'richer' not in monetary value, but in happiness& satisfaction.?

Nannan2 Fri 31-Jul-20 10:16:00

Sorry spangler, but i dont grasp what your tale about being mean to a lil old lady& nicking her taxi has to do with what then inflates into a loooong story about you crowing about what you own/& what you have achieved????

Juicylucy Fri 31-Jul-20 09:42:07

Spangler what a joy to read your post with my morning cup of tea. How lovely to hear you and your wife’s story. I wish you well and many more years of contentment and happiness. I loved the saying “ had to much month left at end of his money”.

J52 Thu 30-Jul-20 17:02:28

no intention