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Everyday Ageism

My doctor called me 'An elderly Lady.'

(315 Posts)
Venus Fri 05-Mar-21 11:44:50

I saw my doctor in surgery the other day and she referred to me as an 'elderly lady'. To be honest, I was somewhat taken aback by this description as I've never thought of myself as such. I admit to being middle seventies, but I've always considered myself to be modern and have always coloured my hair, so no grey. I would add she looked like she had just come out of school!

When does someone become elderly?

BlueBelle Fri 20-Oct-23 04:06:52

Why has this been rehashed it was started 2 years ago
How do people find these old threads, it always tells me they have mooo~ed

Oreo Thu 19-Oct-23 23:31:50

I had noticed the date, two years ago 😄
I think saying older woman or senior may be a bit more acceptable.
I’m not elderly but understand that it’s disconcerting to be referred to that way for older ladies.Will ‘mature’ fit the bill?

Callistemon21 Thu 19-Oct-23 23:12:05

MerylStreep

Grantanow

Would you prefer he referred to you as an 'old woman' or an 'aged female'?

I doubt if the OP is still bothered about a comment made in
*March 2021*

Oh, I don't know; after all, she's a whole 2½ years older now, so late seventies!

have always coloured my hair, so no grey
I haven't coloured my hair for about 30 years (it has been many colours over the years!) and it's still not grey so I can't be elderly 😁

MerylStreep Thu 19-Oct-23 22:30:43

Grantanow

Would you prefer he referred to you as an 'old woman' or an 'aged female'?

I doubt if the OP is still bothered about a comment made in
March 2021

Dickens Thu 19-Oct-23 22:02:39

Urmstongran

I just suppose in medical terms, the reality is your heart, liver, kidneys are 70+ years old which is all your doctor is concerned about. Not whether you colour your hair or wear skinny jeans.
?

Urms LOL grin

On the ball again!

Ali08 Thu 19-Oct-23 21:35:55

Kate1949

My 93 year old neighbour was upset when her GP described her as elderly!

Haha! I hope she put the doctor right!

Grantanow Tue 26-Sept-23 10:51:55

Would you prefer he referred to you as an 'old woman' or an 'aged female'?

M0nica Wed 13-Sept-23 14:33:23

The problem is that the word 'elderly' is freighted with so many connotations of frailty, and mental fragility that it does make ones hackles rise.

I have always worked on a three fold division of age: 0-29 young, 30-59 middle-aged and 60 and over as old. I consider how one feels or thinks oneself the basic facts of chrnology and life span places in one of these three categories and there is no avoiding it.

Oddly what I find infuriating is people going all goggleyed and exclamatory when they realise I am 80. 'But you do not look 80', which is actually patently ridiculous. How people look at 80 is immensely variable.

Browsing through DH's employer's pensioner's magazine, which is full of people reaching golden and diamond wedding anniversaries and/or their 90th and 100th birthdays. I am pretty standard looking as 80 year olds go.

It is just that younger people have such stereotypical ideas of what older people look like.

And I hate elderly as well.

AreWeThereYet Tue 12-Sept-23 16:39:53

I thought elderly and very elderly were terms used for specific ages within the medical world.

They are. I really don't understand why people get so concerned about it - I'm 67, so will be elderly in a few years. How people view me and how they refer to me doesn't change who or what I am one iota. It will have no effect on what I do or how I dress or how I act.

I did once 'dear' a doctor back and he didn't bat an eyelid. Bless him

Margiknot Tue 12-Sept-23 16:30:19

I thought elderly and very elderly were terms used for specific ages within the medical world.
After tripping and knocking myself out and cracking some ribs I do feel a little bit older - but not elderly yet!

jeanie99 Thu 27-Jul-23 08:43:32

Can't say it bothers me one bit someone saying I am elderly.

geeljay Sun 30-Apr-23 11:29:23

I was in the car park last week at our local D I Y store. A fella asked me to give him a lift with a bag of cement into his boot. I lifted it for him, and he said "thanks, you can't do these things when you are 60"I'm in my eighties!

Shel69 Sat 11-Jun-22 17:21:49

Cheeky ! 73 is just over middle aged, my dad worked till 78, and died at 97 ,he was 86 before we considered him elderly if then,

Redhead56 Mon 10-Jan-22 10:32:41

I was called old when I had my son at 31 I was ancient when I had my daughter at 35. Well I am a naughty nanny now at 65 because when most nannies are tucked up in bed. This nanny is on her iPad and nursing a glass of wine to help with sleep. Our young family have COVID all been vaccinated with mild symptoms. Obviously we can’t see them but it doesn’t stop you worrying about them.

Purplepixie Mon 10-Jan-22 00:35:01

Also I have some dark spots appear on my skin and the dr said that they were associated with people getting old. I am 69 and not ready to be called elderly!

Purplepixie Mon 10-Jan-22 00:33:27

I hate the term “elderly”. When I get to 100 then people can call me elderly but until then they had better run if they mention the word!!!

MayBeMaw Sun 02-Jan-22 23:28:23

??????????

nadateturbe Sun 02-Jan-22 23:26:40

I'm 70. I had an appointment for a general checkup a few years back and was told it was in our local hospital Care of the Elderly department. When I attended I complained about the name to the doctor, and said it should be changed. And I then apologised for my sight not being good as I had put ear drops in my eyes by mistake. blush

MayBeMaw Sun 02-Jan-22 23:26:11

Fear not, do you remember that face cream that promised to deal with the Seven Signs of Ageing?
Would that be forgetfulness, creaky joints, bit of a midriff bulge, swollen ankles, incontinence, flatulence, and grey hair? ????????,

Esmay Sun 02-Jan-22 23:09:57

Or that wonderful expression - at your age .

Yammy Sun 10-Oct-21 22:01:47

love0c

Yammy I remember that so well ha ha. I was 23 when I had my first baby. I don't remember what I was called but I do remember the doctor ticking the second box!!

I went home thinking I was an elderly monkey I thought it was something to do with primates. I thought 26 was bad what you must have thought at 23, yet they would have condemned us if we had got pregnant at 16.

love0c Sun 10-Oct-21 19:24:22

Yammy I remember that so well ha ha. I was 23 when I had my first baby. I don't remember what I was called but I do remember the doctor ticking the second box!!

Yammy Sun 10-Oct-21 19:21:05

I was called an elderly primigravidae at aged 26 when having my first child. I did not know what it meant and was not pleased until I was told it meant elderly first-time mother.
I wonder when that term applies now when most have their babies much later than we did in the '70s.
I still do not like being called elderly or on the eve of my 70+ birthday being told another nail in the coffin as I was yesterday by H certainly not DH at the time. One that will take a long time to forget and hard not to retaliate or maybe I will. I'll call him my toy boy until he catches me up next year.

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 10-Oct-21 16:41:15

Oh I know lulu. I have aches and pains aplenty due to osteoarthritis, which I have had since I was 21, and other health conditions including asthma, but try to make the best of things. I try to cover the grimace with a smile!

luluaugust Sun 10-Oct-21 16:34:09

My Consultant described me as a contented lady in a letter to the GP. I can see that being called elderly out of the blue can give you quite a jolt but it isn't really unreasonable if you are past 70 surely.There are as many different kinds of over 70's about as there are for any age. Unfortunately lovely hair and fashionable clothes don't help much with the aches and pains most people seem to have.