Shop assistants

I think it depends on where you are from. I am in Canada and here in the Maritimes specifically Newfoundland it is a common phrase used for everyone not just older people. Another one that is used is Mother which is an assumption of your being a mother I guess. If they don't like you though there are a few other phrases they might use that you would wish for the "my dear". I do know what you are talking about though as the last few years working at a school before retiring I used to hear people say isn't she cute! I knew that was an ageism thing but I guess decided that it was better than being called an old battle ax so I used it to my advantage!

What would rather be called? Madam? Mate? Pal? The thing I hate is being addressed by my first name on a cold call. "Can I call you *****? 'No' I say, You can call me Ms ***. AIBU?

I don’t like ‘mate’ or ‘you guys’. More of a bloke greeting.

Don’t mind love or dear, but ‘hun’ or ‘my lovely’, no.

Missiseff

Me too. I tell them off.

Are you responding to the OP? You tell shop assistants off ? Really ? How unpleasant.

What on earth does it matter? Mind you i know a man who went in to a car showroom intent on buying. One young man came up and said “can I help you mate ?”. My friend walked straight back out, swiftly followed by a manager who apologised etc. There a time and a place I suppose.

A common comment I’ve found in Norfolk since moving here is ’Bless you’ - and if people talk to you with endearments it’s far better than carrying on a conversation with someone else while serving you

That picture was funny mollygo

Just had a call from my wonderful GP who has been nothing but supportive and efficient and I have nothing but praise for her .... but she called me sweetie and I hate that!! Im in my sixties and it makes me feel ancient!!

It’s ‘love’ round here, you just accept it as the norm. I like being called ‘pet’ when I go to Newcastle. Quite like being called ma’am too. Wasn’t too keen on the Tesco man calling me young lady this morning but he was just being friendly rather than patronising, he wasn’t so young himself.

Living in Cornwall am used to being a 'me ansome'

Tell them off for what*missiseff*for being friendly, for greeing you? You really need something important to worry about.

rafichagran

Not worth getting upset about unless it is used in a aggresive manner.
This new thing about looking for things to be offended by is really quite exhausting.

Absolutely- along with first world problems

rafichagran

Not worth getting upset about unless it is used in a aggresive manner.
This new thing about looking for things to be offended by is really quite exhausting.

You made me laugh. I use social media including GN to help me decide what the next offensive thing will be. Someone sent me this.

Gee it’s just a word, does it matter what word they use at least they are being nice to you and not rude. It’s better than ignoring you don’t you think ?

Not worth getting upset about unless it is used in a aggresive manner.
This new thing about looking for things to be offended by is really quite exhausting.

Me too. I tell them off.

Personally, I can't see what is patronising about it - always makes me feel that they are actually seeing you as a person and showing at least some sign that they care!
Some people call others "dear" and don't realise they are saying it, it's just part of their everyday speech.
I would much rather be called dear than spoken too as if I can just walked in on the sole of their shoe - now that IS patronising!

What would you prefer ?
Hello Person of non descriptive sex ?
Give shop assistants a break, they're on their feet all day for minimum wage.
It is literally their job to welcome you into the store and approach people, it's part of their job description and training.

Millie22

This has all been discussed before and fairly recently. Boring.

Sorry ‘love’ must have missed it first time round

Doesn’t really bother me. You could always respond in the same way, e.g.
“Can I help you dear?”
“No thanks dear, I’m just looking.”
The assistant may give you a funny look, but it adds a bit of fun for you.

I dont mind, in fact I am probably guilty of it occasionally.
I remember years ago I was serving a lady in her 90s and she called me girly......made me feel about 12 which was awesome seeing as I was in my 40s

a supermarket near me has the staff greeting Morning are you ok and for a lot of us out there they are the only words we have spoken to us week after week some have name badges so nice to be able to call them by name and i have exchanged my name and the day they say Morning..... puts me on cloud nine Last year I went 8 months without anyone speaking to me personally( emails not the same) and I began to think is this it existence and felt suicidal so having started to use to the supermarket it has saved me So carry on accept it

Doesn’t bother me at all. I wouldn’t do their jobs for a gold pig - seeing how rude some customers can be.

I work in the post office so I’m probably one of those dreaded assistants sorry ? nobody’s complained to me so far , I know a lot of my regulars by name and a lot of them call me by my first name or love or pet so it works both ways , I don’t mind I like the familiarity ?

I can’t stand the cold callers on the phone who insist on calling you by your first name as soon as you pick up the call, as in “Am I speaking to Mary?” (Other names are available!) I always ask if we have been introduced and if not my name is Mrs ….
One the other day got quite flustered and told me that wasn’t in the script!

It's not just the shop assistants - it's the clothing manufacturers too. many think that when you have reached a certain age and a certain weight then 'frump' is the fashion.