Gransnet forums

Everyday Ageism

Shop assistants

(122 Posts)
EmHar Tue 11-May-21 13:44:23

I HATE being called love , dear or any familiar word by shop staff : makes me feel incredibly old which as a newish retiree I am not . Just patronising!

Millie22 Thu 13-May-21 13:34:10

I certainly don't 'know it all' far from it but this is all ridiculous. New posters can contribute of course but this topic is so petty. People being friendly that's all this is.

Alioop Thu 13-May-21 13:47:23

I've worked in shops from leaving school until I retired and it works both ways. I got called plenty and some of it not very pleasant, but I always had a smile on my face and was polite to the customers. It can be very hard at times when someone is shouting abuse at you, when maybe it's not your fault that a size is out of stock of something.
I got called love, darling, sweetheart too you know by the customer, but I'd rather be called one of those names than some I was called over the years by some very rude people I was serving.

Jac53 Thu 13-May-21 14:02:04

I hate being called 'my dear' by men younger than my son (4 1).
Dislike hun, babes, treacle, lovely etc. I am afraid lots of younger teachers call their classes 'you guys' so I expect that is where it is filtering down from. Cringe.

Calendargirl Thu 13-May-21 14:24:26

Millie22

I certainly don't 'know it all' far from it but this is all ridiculous. New posters can contribute of course but this topic is so petty. People being friendly that's all this is.

Lots of the topics on GN are petty, but I just by pass the ones that are of no interest.

By petty, I mean frivolous, light hearted, superficial.

And yes, the subjects do get re-cycled which is to be expected with ever changing posters.

Yammy Thu 13-May-21 15:12:12

All the men around here get called marra and if from one area, in particular, they call you assa marra meaning I say old chap. Pet I would think is the one most used for women and the odd love. I'm used to it.
What annoys me are letters addressed to Mrs.my husband initial and then our second name, I am a person in my own right.
Dr's and nurses using my first name used to annoy me but as I get older I just think whatever.

Joyfulnanna Thu 13-May-21 15:17:43

Yes I can't bear it when people working in shops ask "are you guys are ready...(to order) etc" - I'm sure it's an Americanism!

Nannina Thu 13-May-21 16:01:24

What a diverse lot we are! I hate being called hun or babe and do really object to the collective ‘guys’ for a mixed group because the last time I looked I was definitely a gal. My mum always used to say ‘I don’t mind what you call me as long as it’s not late for my tea’ smile

welbeck Thu 13-May-21 16:31:03

i wonder why so many ?older people seem to object to being included in you guys. sounds informal and inclusive.
why link it to gender.
i don't mind it at all.
why see it as specifically a male title.
generally it is seen as progress when women are included in something that was previously men only.
i do dislike inappropriate terms of endearment.
if i was shop manager i would train staff not to do it.

downtoearth Thu 13-May-21 18:54:20

Dont care what you call me as long as its not insulting, but I have now reached the stage where younger people have started to bless me...oh bless ...it really gives me the humpgrin

Melanie123 Thu 13-May-21 20:37:47

I like these terms and often quite naturally use them myself and always have done. I’m only in my late 50s.
I do live in the north east so that may have something to do with it.

Melanie123 Thu 13-May-21 20:38:55

I do hate “ you guys” - I’m definitely not a guy!

Woodmouse Thu 13-May-21 20:44:27

Doesn't bother me one bit what someone calls me. The world has enough misery and a term of endearment is a good thing.

MamaCaz Thu 13-May-21 21:05:13

'Guys' as a catch-all term for a mixed-sex group was brought into our family about 10 years ago by one of our DiLs, and far from disliking it, I really like it, and happily use it myself now

In common with many others on this thread, I don't usually mind what people call me, as long as it isn't rude.

That said, a workman visiting our home last year kept saying 'oh bless' every time my 70-something OH was mentioned.
The way he said it sounded so b****y patronising that it did cross my mind to say something.
But there was no malice intended. Quite the opposite, and I think the young man would have been mortified if I had told him how it came across.

cornishpatsy Thu 13-May-21 21:23:30

I don't see it as patronising , just being friendly. It always makes me smile.

I don't really like the term guys but no offence is meant. I dislike groups of women referringf to themselves as girls though.

Retired65 Thu 13-May-21 21:28:27

I don't mind but hate the words
'guy/guys'.

coco20 Thu 13-May-21 22:14:09

It's good to be acknowledged in a friendly manner, not so keen on hun or babe but its a generational thing. Years ago, people said, Hello Folks, think Hi Guys is perfectly acceptable ?

crazyH Thu 13-May-21 22:18:04

Someone upstream mentioned “treacle” ? I’ve never been called that ?

GraceQuirrel Thu 13-May-21 22:29:45

I used to work in retail until a month ago. It was always sir or madam regardless of their age.

nadateturbe Thu 13-May-21 23:04:05

In NI we don't need guys as a plural. We put an s on you. eg Are yous going out? I prefer you guys.
What I really hate is the use of the word "wee". Do you want a wee bag? Put your wee card in the machine. Put in your wee pin number. Grr. So annoying. There's a wee money off coupon. Honestly, thats how bad it is sometimes.

GreenGran78 Fri 14-May-21 00:24:30

I thought that a wee bag was for someone with urinary problems! ?
I don’t care what term I’m addressed by, as long as it’s said in a friendly, not patronising way. It’s often a regional thing, as many of you have said.

The staff in my local hospital always ask how the patient would like to be addressed, and it is written above their bed and strictly adhered to. Personally I prefer to be addressed by my Christian name

Jemma75 Fri 14-May-21 00:27:18

I'm more interested if they acknowledge me by looking in my eyes along with a pleasant expression.

nanna8 Fri 14-May-21 00:44:55

They nearly always use first names here e.g at chemist, doctors etc. If they used your surname you’d get a shock! The only ones I don’t like are hun and sweetie because they are condescending. Mostly it is love or mate round here. Not something I think about day to day.

arosebyanyothername Fri 14-May-21 07:28:29

I gritted my teeth yesterday when a shop assistant called me sweetheart. Then noticed she called everyone that so calmed down.
Still don't like it though

Lucca Fri 14-May-21 07:39:57

Joyfulnanna

Yes I can't bear it when people working in shops ask "are you guys are ready...(to order) etc" - I'm sure it's an Americanism!

Oooh no ! Not an Americanism! How dreadful.

Honestly I can’t believe the moaning on here about how people address you. so the odd term may grate possibly but so what ? If you’re dealt with pleasantly surely that’s all that matters.

Beanie654321 Fri 14-May-21 17:42:07

I think I'm old fashioned at 62 years of age. I like to be addressed as Mrs .... unless I state otherwise. I feel respect is a little on the short side at times.