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Everyday Ageism

Do you not have someone to help you?

(58 Posts)
Grammaretto Mon 24-Oct-22 10:14:55

This is the second time in a week someone has spoken these words to me. It's over the phone when I am calling the helpline.
I almost shouted at the poor man just now when he suggested I take photos of the forms (all 27 pages of them) sign in the relevant places, find a neighbour?? to witness my signature and send them in digitally.

This is an ongoing feature of my new life since being widowed and now trying to apply for an energy savings grant or loan to improve my energy efficiency.
The process has already taken more than 6 months, the work has been done and now all I have to do is send in the claim form. shock
Boy do they make it difficult. He even told me to send proof of ID and utility bill although I have sent in those already.

Perhaps my photo ID will have changed so much after 6 months as I limp, white haired, to the photo booth.

Have any of you had similar experiences?

M0nica Fri 29-Sept-23 17:50:28

Charleygirl the benefits agency will send someone round to visit someone and help them complete the form if asked.

Some years ago I volunteered wit Age UK and I was one of a team of home visitors who did visit people to fill forms in(and do lots of other problem solving, but we were all stood down because the benefits agency decided that they would employ their own team of visitors to do what we did.

Wenmore Fri 29-Sept-23 16:24:27

Grammaretto

Fanny ((hugs))

The form also tells me to write the postal address of my Bank or Building society. Since my Bank branch has been gone for 2 years now - how do I know their address?

Google the corporate address for your bank. That'll do.

Foxygloves Fri 29-Sept-23 12:56:48

M0nica

Fine when the machines work. Ishop for a friend who gives me a cheque each week. For some reason the machine struggles tonread her writing.

DH has just returned from a trip to the bank, the machine struggles to read my writing as well.

Before we go all automatic they need to improve the technology.

Or somebody needs to improve their handwriting? grin

pascal30 Fri 29-Sept-23 12:40:21

Calendargirl

Grammaretto

Fanny ((hugs))

The form also tells me to write the postal address of my Bank or Building society. Since my Bank branch has been gone for 2 years now - how do I know their address?

If you still get statements, the bank address is printed on it, (well, it is on mine).

It probably won’t be a local one, just a ‘national’ address maybe.

There should be a phone number you can call on the back of your bank card. I've found them quite helpful

karmalady Fri 29-Sept-23 12:26:23

No I don`t have problems in dealing with people on the phone nor need help in filling forms. I have a young energetic voice and a lively brain and that helps

Bella23 Fri 29-Sept-23 12:20:39

teabagwoman

I’ve experienced this at hospital. I’m hard of hearing and partially sighted and have had consultants tell me that I should bring someone with me who can tell me what’s been said after the appointment rather than expect them to speak just a little more slowly. Wrong on so many levels.

I agree and dare I say it they often have a very strong regional accent and I don't mean Scots or Irish.
I came out after a recent accident not knowing if I was on my head or my a....after a 12+ overnight sit in a waiting room in A&E.
Only to be confronted by large notices saying please arrange your own transport home we are not a taxi service. Luckily I still have a DH who can drive.
What would have happened if I did not use a mobile phone and was on my own? Obviously they were not willing to arrange a taxi for me.hmm

Grantanow Fri 29-Sept-23 11:57:51

Pity the living, not the dead.

grandMattie Wed 31-May-23 05:50:29

BigBertha1

The woman in Specsavers recycling my details were correct barked 'Ethnicity' at me. I said 'well that hasn't changed'. She was not amused.

I had something equivalent when asked for proof of age again for a discount when paying for my AE Spanish classes. I replied that as far as I was aware, age went forwards and it backwards, so I wasn’t suddenly going to get younger. I was never asked again!

Allsorts Wed 31-May-23 05:27:34

I think this drive to get everyone on line and talking to robots and dealing with automated advisors is disgusting. I am ok on a computer and drive, but know loads that are not, lots relying on already busy members of family to sort out things they could do themselves, if all the banks hadn't gone and the showrooms off the High Street.

M0nica Tue 02-May-23 15:42:08

Fine when the machines work. Ishop for a friend who gives me a cheque each week. For some reason the machine struggles tonread her writing.

DH has just returned from a trip to the bank, the machine struggles to read my writing as well.

Before we go all automatic they need to improve the technology.

LRavenscroft Tue 02-May-23 14:44:37

We are having this problem with a certain famous high street bank. They have taken all their cashiers off the cash desks and installed automatic machines. The queue for the one cashier left is 15 deep and it takes an hour to get to them. If you want to do something more than just pay in or take out you have to wait for ages for someone to be available. They are trying to get everyone on line. If you phone you end up in a cul de sac with 'Please check our website' when you want to ask a simple question. Shocking!

pascal30 Tue 02-May-23 14:38:27

Sparklefizz

BigBertha1

The woman in Specsavers recycling my details were correct barked 'Ethnicity' at me. I said 'well that hasn't changed'. She was not amused.

Love it. grin

obviously a lot brighter than her..

paddyann54 Tue 02-May-23 12:47:41

lathyrus dont worry about the doctor get it seen .

I speak as the woman who as a newly wed sent my 20 year old husband to the doctor with a "lump" in his chest .
The GP was very kind she examined him and told him it was....his ribs,but not to worry about coming back if I found anything else that worried me .I've never lived it down and its 48 years ago

M0nica Tue 02-May-23 11:36:59

Your cheques will have a bnk address on them. That is what I use.

Sparklefizz Tue 02-May-23 10:44:31

BigBertha1

The woman in Specsavers recycling my details were correct barked 'Ethnicity' at me. I said 'well that hasn't changed'. She was not amused.

Love it. grin

Llamas99 Tue 02-May-23 00:25:54

I have the same problems that you have. Impossible to rewire my brain to understand this new world.

BigBertha1 Tue 25-Oct-22 07:15:40

The woman in Specsavers recycling my details were correct barked 'Ethnicity' at me. I said 'well that hasn't changed'. She was not amused.

CanadianGran Mon 24-Oct-22 23:37:04

I feel bad for all those here with tales of troubles. I know my elder sister is not very paperwork/computer savvy, and my younger sister had to a lot for her when her husband passed away.

It certainly doesn't help that most places have closed their offices and everything needs to be done on line. It makes me realize how lost someone with limited English or reading ability would feel, and no wonder they slip through the cracks for benefits, etc.

FarNorth Mon 24-Oct-22 23:06:57

The evidently young bloke on the end of the helpline said, ‘Can’t they use their mobiles?’

Even if people have mobiles and want to use them, there are some places with no mobile signal - another fact that is incomprehensible to some.

Callistemon21 Mon 24-Oct-22 22:44:07

I do think there is a lot of inefficiency in organisations now.

It's not us.
It's them!!

growstuff Yours wins the prize for most ludicrous.

Grammaretto Mon 24-Oct-22 21:32:41

Yes Deedaa I was also thinking of all those older and even less computer savvy than me when I had the rather patronising young man on the phone. He was indistinct so I couldn't quite hear him but the WiFi cut out twice and the first time he phoned me back so I must give him his due. The 2nd time, I gave up and wrote the email.
I have heard nothing back all day.
I asked a neighbour to witness my signature and I photographed both the forms and attached them to the email.

Wyllow3 Mon 24-Oct-22 20:45:18

I find a lot of kindness. That doesn't mean it isn't scary at times. and lonely, and one wonders looking further forward and so on but sometimes it brings out the best and there is help there.

ParlorGames Mon 24-Oct-22 20:36:21

Grammaretto

I was hoping that my venting on here would make me feel better but, hearing these dire stories has actually made me feel worse.

I am equally alarmed at these comments too! Basically, if we aren't totally fit, well and flexible, completely tech savvy, tall enough to reach the supermarket top shelves, lithe enough to bend down to the bottom shelves, have 20/20 vision, have perfect hearing, a business degree, total comprehension of every benefit/claim form imaginable, AND the patience of a saint.............WE ARE STUFFED!

Witzend Mon 24-Oct-22 20:18:00

I well remember a situation not long ago where a frail and very elderly couple lost their landline connection after a violent storm.

A friend or neighbour phoned BT for them to say that given their frailty, repair work was urgent.

The evidently young bloke on the end of the helpline said, ‘Can’t they use their mobiles?’

Deedaa Mon 24-Oct-22 20:10:40

Nowadays I am making a point of demanding to speak to someone on the phone rather than emailing or looking at the website. In a lot of cases I would be fine doing stuff on line but there must be plenty of people who can't do it or perhaps don't even have access to the internet and I feel I am speaking up for them.