Gransnet forums

Everyday Ageism

Isn’t it time for us to stand up?

(53 Posts)
pattieb Tue 28-Jan-25 17:11:22

Feeling so frustrated with the state of things.

I wish there was someone who would lead us older people into pushing for fair treatment.

We (and I include myself in this) seem to be discussing things and complaint but not standing up for ourselves.

Surely there’s someone out there with the skills to kickstart a group.

butterandjam Fri 25-Jul-25 22:01:47

AuntieE

I nearly died of laughing reading this thread.

Where have you women all been for the past month?

At least twice a week someone has moaned about the unfair way pensioners in the UK are being treated - rising prices, but no rise in pensions, fuel allowance being cut comes to mind.

But none of you have seen these threads, except presumably Pattieb, who won't dare come back now you have all torn her to shreds.

State Pension payments benefit from the triple lock; better inflation protection than some other benefits. The Fuel allowance has been restored to any pensioners with an income below £35 K; an advantage over working people earning less than £35 K.

I don't feel I'm being treated unfairly.

Eloethan Fri 25-Jul-25 17:37:44

I have sympathy for anyone who feels they are being ignored or mistreated - whether they be old or young.

But I have to agree with Greenfinch that life is much harder for younger people these days. Housing is a major expense and the cost of housing has become almost unsustainable for many people. Also, childcare costs are ridiculously expensive.

Of course, the state pension is pretty awful but there are many older people who are doing very well for themselves, yet they still moan.

RosieandherMaw Fri 25-Jul-25 12:33:05

As long as the sofa isn’t too low !

Bea65 Fri 25-Jul-25 08:30:29

I noticed it was old thread as I mentioned recently some older threads are reappearing 😊

keepingquiet Fri 25-Jul-25 08:28:57

Another old post yawn...

Cabbie21 Fri 25-Jul-25 08:21:25

Well Daisyrose5 my husband died two years ago and I have just got on with it. Plenty to keep me busy. Life goes on, but what I do fear is living out my later years housebound, unable to do the things I enjoy, unable to get out to my activities.

Have you talked with anyone about your fears? One thing you can do now is talk to each other about your spheres of expertise / responsibilities and make sure you share that information, be that finances, contact details for tradesmen, subscriptions etc etc. Be prepared.

This thread is several months old and the OP has not come back.

Daisyrose5 Fri 25-Jul-25 07:32:36

I’m in my early 70’s and for a few years now have woken in a morning feeling very ‘unsettled’ and worrying about how I would cope if my husband of 50 years dies before me. We have one child who lives over 100 miles away and has her own family and life to lead. I just have this terrible fear of having to cope with the loneliness of being alone. Realistically common sense tells me I could die first but that still doesn’t stop this awful feeling I have inside. Any suggestions as to how to deal/cope with this fear would be much appreciated. Thank you.

M0nica Mon 14-Jul-25 17:49:49

I think the OP's vague post summarises what the problem is with older people, we are just seen as amorphous mass defined only by our age.

I am really uneasy these days about what would happen if I was involved in a road accident, I would immediately be a woman over 80 and the accident was my fault because I was failing either in mind or eyesight. even though it was the other driver and I have good eyesight tested regulalry and I am fully in my right mind.

People's idea of us is so stereotyped. I have been fortunate in life and genes to be aging well, but I am being driven to screaming point by having to smirk and look happy when people find out my age and exclaim because I look so much younger than that. I do not look younger than my age. There are plenty of 80 year plus people who look like me, but people's stereotype of what a woman my age should look like expects me to be white haired frail and using a stick.

I was listening to a McCarthy and Stone advert on the radio the other day. The woman in the advert was meant to be a resident, but she had that awful patronising voice that some younger people use to speak to us, that sing song voice we use with children. She was saying how she now had got lots of new friends and sounded like a mother encouraging a 5 year old to go to school, because it will be so nice and they will make lots nice little friends.

Why should it be automatic that if you move into a block of flats containing lots of elderly people that simply because they are around your age you will automatically find that one of them let alone more could be a friend?. You could move in and find you have nothing in common with any of the other residents except old age.

I mean to say developers selling flats on the open market do not sell the idea of making nice (little) friends as one of the benefits of their flats, although they may feature gym facilities or a swimming pool.

Rant over

Milsa Mon 14-Jul-25 17:29:06

Sorry, looked after

Milsa Mon 14-Jul-25 17:28:14

Honestly, retired people in the west have it the best. You travel, homes with no mortgage etc. Come and see my mother, she never held the purse, all Properties from my father directly to my brother, she raised his kids and obviously she will booked after if my father dies before her. She won't end in the street but my brother will dictate her choices because there aren't care homes, just our own homes. Like it or not, you agree with your kids

Oreo Wed 29-Jan-25 20:12:16

Doodledog

Do people suspect that the OP is playing with us?

If not, I'm not surprised she didn't come back, as she was jumped on from the start, and is not, presumably, as confident as many on the thread.

I don't feel the need to have others speak for me, but I can understand that not everyone is the same. I don't know why the OP is getting such a hard time.

I thought your response to the OP on the first page was very kind.I don’t know why she’s being jumped on either.
Some people aren’t as good as others at articulating what they mean.I took it to be possibly the withdrawing the WFA to all pensioners not receiving pension credit, and maybe age discrimination in the workplace.If she returns then she may tell us.

Allira Wed 29-Jan-25 20:01:07

mabon1

Unfortunately we can't win against the government if that is what she's indicating.

True!

Allira Wed 29-Jan-25 20:00:40

I think pattieb is a longstanding poster.
She has posted before about how she worries about everything.

If you come back, pattieb and explain what is worrying you, perhaps we can help.
As it is, I'm not sure what we can say or do.

petra Wed 29-Jan-25 18:24:30

AuntieE
Yes, you’re right. The only difference between those posts is that they don’t expect other people to do something about it.

NotSpaghetti Wed 29-Jan-25 18:12:51

Yes.
We aren't all trying to jump on you pattieb - please come back.

Allira Wed 29-Jan-25 18:08:25

Maybe some of us are curious - rather than just making assumptions.

Yes, I still have no clue.

Perhaps pattieb will come back and explain what is upsetting her and we can point her in the direction of helpful groups.

NotSpaghetti Wed 29-Jan-25 17:53:25

AuntieE - if you have indeed been reading "these threads" you will see what a capable bunch we "pensioners" actually are!

Twice a week moaning doesn't explain exactly what the OP means.

Maybe some of us are curious - rather than just making assumptions.

mabon1 Wed 29-Jan-25 17:45:56

Unfortunately we can't win against the government if that is what she's indicating.

Woollywoman Wed 29-Jan-25 17:05:24

A mysterious post. Why expect others to take on this role?

AuntieE Wed 29-Jan-25 16:17:19

I nearly died of laughing reading this thread.

Where have you women all been for the past month?

At least twice a week someone has moaned about the unfair way pensioners in the UK are being treated - rising prices, but no rise in pensions, fuel allowance being cut comes to mind.

But none of you have seen these threads, except presumably Pattieb, who won't dare come back now you have all torn her to shreds.

Marmin Wed 29-Jan-25 15:26:50

Time for us to stand up?
Have a look at the 'do you like coffee?' thread. Some like tea not coffee. Some like noither tea of coffee. A few detest both. One claims to only ever drink sparkling water; another only tap water. Some do drink coffee. Instant. Not instant. Espresso. Cappuccino. Latte. Whole milk. Semi skimmed. Oat milk. Soy. One drinks hot chocolate.
When do we stand up? Who gives the signal? What is the catalyst? How long do we stand for? Do we move forward or stand still? Sway from side to side? Will there be community singing? Who picks the songs?
We are people with some things in common and a lot that aren't.
We are evidence perhaps that life rarely gets boring and predictable. And we are still to find a question on which we can all agree.

rafichagran Wed 29-Jan-25 15:16:35

Given some of the responses, I am not surprised she has not come back.

Doodledog Wed 29-Jan-25 15:04:08

Do people suspect that the OP is playing with us?

If not, I'm not surprised she didn't come back, as she was jumped on from the start, and is not, presumably, as confident as many on the thread.

I don't feel the need to have others speak for me, but I can understand that not everyone is the same. I don't know why the OP is getting such a hard time.

wibblywobblywobblebottom Wed 29-Jan-25 14:44:15

I get somebody to stand up for me. Not because I'm infirm, just lazy.

Allira Wed 29-Jan-25 14:38:42

The OP is very vague.

Feeling so frustrated with the state of things
The state of which things exactly?
The NHS, the State Pension, withdrawal of WFA, things in general which may affect everyone?

In what way are older people not getting fair treatment?

I think many people like a good whinge to complain about things but people of all ages should be able to stand up for themselves. Mind you, older people often seem to be invisible to some of the younger generations.