Learning to cook

Is there still hope for him? - Have you tried hiding the cheese and biscuits?

How could I slowly persuade him? Well, you know him best - is he just being lazy? Are you just too quick to get on with it? Have you seriously actually asked him / encouraged him / discussed how he might get started?

How do I convince myself to let him have a go if he wanted? - Ah, now I wonder if this is the nub of it ...? If the kitchen has always been your territory and you make a good job of everything that comes out of it, you need to think about WHAT will incentivise him to have a go himself. Is there a favourite meal of his that you never make because you don't much care for it? It is a standing joke in our house that when I am going out my DH is delighted because he makes himself a chilli to his taste - so hot /I wouldn't be able to stand it!

as for the rest - well he just might surprise you if he does get started. My dad took over cooking out of necessity when my mum became ill and he never looked back. He was a man transformed and loved getting to grips with new recipes. He started simple, but soon became adventurous and gained a sense of pride in himself. No, he could never accumulate all the practical knowledge that my mum had assimilated through decades, but he did a blooming good job producing things my mum would never have attempted.

If you really do want to help your husband get started - and I wonder (written with a smile - I know how much /I love my kitchen space), then open up the conversation again, get a cookbook out and challenge him - and tell him you think he CAN do it. Maybe even suggest you prepare a meal together for your family???

I so wish I could be a fly on the wall if he manages to create something edible!

Reading your post JackyB I don't really get the impression that you want him to cook, and my guess is that he's picking that up as well! If you really do, why don't you pick a couple of simple meals and show him how to cook them - and then be very complimentary. My DH enjoys doing stirfrys so he'll do stirfry veg and grill some salmon to go with it. He'll make simple pasta dishes - spaghetti bolognese can be made very easily. Think of the sort of food you like and how he could make something. I think there's nothing more pathetic than a man who can't look after himself if his wife is unable to for any reason.

What about a fry-up for a start? Most men enjoy that. But he might make a mess.
My friend's husband spends hours looking at recipe books, then chooses one, usually complicated.
Then she has to shop for the ingredients, sometimes unusal and exotic. Then the big day comes when he gets started, and she has to clean up and wash up after him.
But he does make some nice things.

If you can read you can cook. Be careful what you wish for, he could end up taking over your kitchen.

My problem is that the Old Man and I like completely different things. For him, it must be meat and potatoes ( and seen to be meat and potatoes!), and he has no interest in pastas, ricey dishes, or anything else which is out of the ordinary. This means he could never make a lot of meals I 'd enjoy.

I did concern myself that when I snuff it he'll live on cereal, sandwiches, tinned soup, boiled potatoes and cold meat, but I don't care now!

It's all very well men learning to cook - DH said exactly the same thing as the original poster's "I'd like to learn to cook when I retire". Well, frankly, life is too short. We would starve. I could fill a freezer with dishes in the time it takes him to read a recipe (he MUST have a recipe), get the ingredients together, chop the vegetables and meat, all of which have to be painstakingly cut into similar sized pieces, and then cook them. He wanted to make mince pies at Christmas, but rather than use the recipe for pastry that I have used for the fifty years we have been married, he must find one on the Internet. They were - interesting! He does make a passable chilli - if you have a couple of days to spare! My son trained as a chef and then went on to do something completely different but is still an accomplished and imaginative cook!

Learned nearly all my cooking from Mrs Grumppa as I got older and had more time on my hands. OK with breakfast, stir fry, pasta dishes, grills, rice. Biggest near disaster: when DW was ill went to Waitrose with menu card for kleftika and proudly came home with all the intricate and exotic ingredients - except the shoulder of lamb. Quick dash to local butcher (now closed alas!) and the day was saved.

Why not sign up for a cookery class together? My aunt was 12 years older than her DH and was concerned how he would manage when she was gone so she signed both of them up for Cordon Bleu cookery course. She learnt new skills and so did he. Sadly after her death he sank into depression and had to move into a care home, but while she was still with us he did cook some very nice casseroles.

Could he be given responsibility for preparing one meal a week just to start with? And would it be really hard to relinquish your kitchen territory for that once a week occasion?

Delia Smith and Mary Berry recipes are usually good for step-by-step instructions for the learner chef.

I'd be quiet happy for DH to take over my kitchen.
He always does cooked breakfast when we have it, and has a few standard meals that he cooks and can do a Sunday roast if he has too but prefers to leave that to me.
He's well trained in clearing up after himself too

My father was one of the eldest in a large family - and a good short order cook as one of his tasks was cooking Sunday breakfast.

After DM's death, he became a real fan of Delia Smith and for the last decade of his life no village events that required food was complete with out one of his meat loafs or victoria sponges.

All men should be taught to cook, and from the earliest age possible!
However, my MiL wouldn't allow FiL in the kitchen, admittedly he's a bit of a fool, but she was a total control freak! If she even heard him opening the fridge, she'd go to look what he was doing, he never even made cups of tea as she always said he made a mess of it......not a nice woman my MiL!
Now, fifteen years after MiL died, he still can't cook! I've spent many exhausting and frustrating hours in his kitchen, but he's not really interested!
Forunately for him, he's financilaly well off (mainly due to them both being very mean throughout their marriage) so almost everything he eats is a ready meal from M&S or Waitrose!
Even though the quality can't be faulted, it must be awfully boring for him!

When my sons were at secondary school in Switzerland, during one of their school years the boys had cooking once a week and they would cook their midday meal (all ingredients supplied by the school ?) and then eat it! They learnt all the basic methods, and still enjoy cooking today.

My DH has pretty much taken over the kitchen. He cooks dinner every night, he enjoys it, and I enjoy the results - win/win! He also tidies up after himself much better than I do, it has to be said.

My 3 DS's were all required to cook st one point when I returned to work (although pungent got taken off the rota quite quickly as we'd all had enough of dried out chicken with boiled potatoes, no sauce or gravy). No 2 son became very good, looking up recipes for whatever I'd left out.

They can all look after themselves now, just as well, as they all live alone.

May I add that none of our sons ever cooked when they were at home, but now that they are all settled, they are the main cook in their house, and turning out some splendid stuff!

I don't really mind, as I just invite myself often!

My husband is very good at taking a turn in the kitchen. Sadly, he makes a huge mess usually and is quite prone to trying out strange things.
Only last week he was making a perfectly normal dinner but decided to make a 'sauce' which turned out to be a flour and milk mixture poured over the peas and carrots!!! I cannot tell you just how horrible it was ... and yet he ate it!

Anyway, yes let the man cook but let him start on simple things. ?

I gave my husband a simple cook book when he retired and I was still working and he made several things out of it. His shepherd's pie was spectacular! However once I retired he gave up. I know this is because I always do it and just get on with it! Two weeks ago I gave him responsibility for our evening meal one day and left him to it. The kitchen was in chaos and he used a lot of pans to cook- yes, you've guessed it- shepherd's pie, but I ignored the mess and didn't get involved and by the time he had finished the kitchen was spotless. I want to make sure that if something happens to me he can cook for himself. Time to move on from mince now I think!

I'm extremely kind to my husband and said he could do the cooking when he retired and I still worked. I explained it was only for his benefit so if I pop my clogs first he can look after himself. In fact, he is the only one of our male friends who cook. Anyone who has had one of Pa's Sunday roasts says they are legendary. Mind you, if I do pop my clogs first, it won't be mainly chicken and fish that we have now but steak, pork chops, sausages, etc. Still, I won't be there to worry about him having a stroke!

Jamie Oliver had an easy recipe last weekend ,chicken breasts wrapped in bacon with cherry tomatoes. DH said he would like to do it. He is not a natural cook but he's just gone to buy the ingredients. I am like other posters worrying what he would eat if I shuffled off before he did but he said he would probably eat out much more. I was really peeved and I Now make sure we eat out frequently.

My husband shares the cooking. I gave him an Indian cookery course for Christmas. He goes next week. Can't wait.