Guests for dinner. How much attention do you pay to likes and dislikes?

We entertain far less these days as dinner parties used to be associated with work ad we are glad not to do them or be invited to them. If we invite anyone its more informal BBQ or sometimes Sunday lunch and I just ask in advance if there are any food issues. If we go somewhere I wait to be asked if there are any problems but if they don't I try and politely tell them our couple of issues which are not much really DH doesn't eat cream or creamy things and I don't eat mayonnaise (yuk yuk) and anything that tastes or smells of min including those ghastly after dinner chocolates (yukky yukky- nasty smell!!!!)

I would never cook any food that I knew it was possible people might not like - and those are the items people have mentioned, like offal, shell fish etc. I also check with visitors if I am thinking of making a curry or highly spiced dish..

There is a line between expecting people to tell you if they have any dietary restrictions and checking with people before serving a dish containing ingredients that are an acquired taste, which one knows many have not enquired.

I am just thinking to next weekend when DS and family arrive. My meals will take into account DGD's allergies (salmon, sesame, almonds, tomatoes) and the fact that DGS doesn't like mushrooms. Since the family is otherwise omniverous it shouldn't prove too mauch of a problem.

Horse meat is indeed excellent and tender. And no, you wouldn't know unless you were told. Some of our great friends from my childhood did 'trick' us once when we visited at their old renovated farm in rural France. We had 'Fondue Chinoise' - thin slices of steak you wrap around your fork and cook in stock in the fondue pot. At coffee time he laughed and said 'bet you've never eaten horse before'- and at the time I was so cross that he would tease me that way.

Such wonderful friends and I got over it- but at the time I was upset with him. I know it is daft and emotional- horses suffer no less or no more pain or fear when going to the abattoir- and neither would cats or dogs. I am aware of the hypocrisy- but for me, horses are pets. I feel people should be given the choice as guests.

Teetime, so agree with you- those dreaded dinner parties! Never again. We invite good friends for informal suppers or lunches and truly enjoy them.

When we lived in Belgium in the seventies I remember seeing butchers in local towns who sold only horsemeat. It was widely eaten there - probably still is. I seem to remember that horsemeat was sold in certain butchers shops when I was a child. My father used to buy it and cook it for our dogs. As far as I know it never came to our table.

I don't tie myself in knots, or go off food myself when entertaining, as my mother did. I do find it hard work having people to dinner, however, as I always feel everything should be from scratch.plus I always seem to leave the shopping and house cleaning til the day or day before. Last time I served curries, but made sure they were mild.

DH won't eat meat for no obvious ethical or medical reason, but will eat it if it is minced or processed. As I made lamb koftas as a starter, guests must wonder way he happily chomped his way through that, then get told he doesn't eat red meat at theirs

I always take the cheat's way out, I do a hot and cold buffet!
Meat, fish and vegetarian dishes, with lots of different salads, and in cold weather, at least two different soups.
It all gets served up in the kitchen, from insulated serving dishes, folk wander back and forth and it's all very informal......I'm not the 'formal dinner party' type!

I an very allergic to Bi-valves, Mussels etc, and also to Red Wine, I have twice been to a friends for lunch who has made Paella and picked out the clams an Mussels for me,,,.
When I am catering either here at home or outside I ask people to tell me if they are Vegans, Vegetarians have allergies or severe intolerances. At home I ask for real dislikes too.
Had a large lunch to do last year(250) where a woman had a phobia about Cucumber, became quite hysterical even seeing it on the table ???????.
I quite enjoy catering for different needs and tastes, and I know people really like to feel they have been catered for specially.
I am doing a welcome supper here at the end of July and will ask the organisers to ask when sending out the invitations to ask people to tell them of any allergies etc, I will do the same Buffet as planned but can put little labels on things which people may have problems with.

Definitely ask what people can't eat when you first ask them, and keep a note of it for future occasions. It makes sense never to serve molluscs, tentacles, offal, or curries unless you know your guests enjoy them. Having people round for a meal shouldn't be an occasion to show off your culinary skills, rather a chance to give your friends (and yourself)a pleasant and relaxing experience.
I will try to eat everything put in front of me as that's the way I was brought up but I draw the line at treacle or in fact any kind odf steamed pudding. Just tell the hostess I'm too full up!

I always try to cook according to which friends/family are coming for a meal.
It is part of making them welcome.

I check that there are no allergies or absolutely hated foods and do not serve offal or very strong flavours. That said, I don't cater for picky eaters. People can leave what they don't like and I would never take offence.

I think that vegetarians are often a little sanctimonious though I am happy to cater for them and love food made with vegetables and fruit.

Vegans. A step too far. Welcome but bring your own. 0.03 of the world's population - for a reason.

We don't ever entertain, as DH does not do people. I know if anyone likely to be invited has diet issues, but would check if someone new came into my social circle! I am virtually veggie (do not like meat, but family, especially MIL expect me to eat it!)

I need some advice my family had fallen apart since I got divorced been married for 40 years. My daughter and son not talking to me my fault did some awful things when I was at my lowest. Maggie

I always ask if there is anything they can't eat as if anyone put coconut in any form in front of me I would be ill. Revolting stuff -even the smell makes me heave! My DH is allergic to seafood (not actual fish which he likes) so I understand the problems.
I was veggie for 25 years & always offered to bring 'something with me if it was easier'. Never got taken up on it though.
I do love cooking & entertaining & I'd rather ask first than have a spoilt evening serving something people could not or would not eat.
I think if you have real allergies or hates you should mention them- mind you if you have a huge list- maybe stay at home!

I always check if anyone has strong food preferences or dislikes, as I prefer my guests to have a pleasant meal free from anxiety or embarrassment, but some people are just plain difficult!
I remember a nightmare meal years ago when I served citrus cocktail, followed by chicken casserole, then chocolate mousse.

My brother-in-law's new girlfriend wouldn't touch any of it because the first course might give her a rash, she didn't fancy the second course as she wasn't in the mood for it, and chocolate mousse might have given her a headache.

I have a strong suspicion that she had taken a dislike to me and that may have been the reason for her 'performance', but I thought she was very rude to other guests present. I made her a cheese salad and she grudgingly picked at that with a disdainful look on her face. After an hour or so she asked to be taken home as she was bored.
The evening was not an unqualified success and I was quite miserable as I cleared up afterwards.

I'm very glad to say that my brother-in-law didn't marry this awful person, but found instead a delightful girl, who is happy to eat anything as long as it's vegetarian, and that's just fine by me!

That wasn't just pickiness, sluttygran, just plain old very bad manners. So glad she didn't join your family.

DD in 6th form brought a lovely friend to tea. As he was Jewish and it was Passover he brought matzos and his mother's delicious homemade lemon curd which he left with me. If a 17 year old can be so thoughtful and avoid awkwardness I think adults can make their needs/preferences known!

maggie273 This is the wrong thread to seek help about your sad predicament. Go back to the Forums page, click on 'Relationships', then 'New discusssion' then start a new discussion called 'Need help' or something like that then enter there what you have entered on this thread. I am sure you will get lots of help from people who have had the same problems as you.

This thread is about feeding visitors and not everyone who can help you will read it.

In 1955 we were told about the possibility of horse meat prior to French exchange visits. I was in fact offered some and it was fine, however I haven't had it since! I hated hot milky drinks with skin on and didn't like coffee so I was greatly relieved to have a bowl of hot chocolate each morning!

Used to entertain a lot but nowadays seems to be a group of friends going to a restaurant so no dietary problems. However Grapefruit is banned by my medication (yippee)and I haven't been able to face any form of rice/milk pudding since school 60 years ago and spending every Monday afternoon facing a soup bowl full that had to be eaten. It seems to have become a popular item on many restaurant menus, though not hopefully cold and solid! A local restaurant now serves Muntjac. I know it is only deer but as they regularly trot down our road (and eat my tulips) it would somehow be like eating a neighbour's labrador! Have no problems with venison however.

Of course you should, if you ask people to eat with you then you must like them so why would you want them to have an unpleasant experience at your table. I always check if there is anything they don't like, do bread to accompany the 1st/mains, 2 puddings and cheese - don't think anyone has gone hungry even if I got it wrong.

I find it's easiest to check beforehand with guests but usually if you know someone well you are aware of allergies or being a vegetarian and general likes and dislikes. For veg, I would tend to put in dishes and have a variety so people can help themselves to what they want. If I'm a guest, one of the few things I don't eat is hot curry - I can't cope with very spicy hot food.

Vegetarian myself as long as I'm not given meat or have my dinner covered in meat gravy (yep had that happen) I'm happy. I've had meals where I've basically just been given potatoes and veg, it's one meal it's fine.

But equally I'm happy (but not very confident) to cook meat, my only concern is as I've been veggie my entire adult life I've no idea if it's cooked properly/tastes ok so I worry about that. Luckily dd happy to be a test subject and is very honest!

I haven't done dinner parties for some time so mostly cooking for daughters friends now and it tends to be last minute and they're just joining in on our dinner.

Occasionally for family members (which include veggies, vegans, Jew and Moslem so can prove...interesting).

But yes I agree people who are just picky/won't try things are annoying. My ex was horrendously fussy glad I'm not dealing with that any more.

I cannot rememeber when I last gave a dinner party, decades ago. Now, we just have friends round for a meal, usually lunch time, or staying for a day or two.

Not being a vegetarian does not mean consuming meat at every meal, or indeed, every day. It is perfectly possible to provide a meal that can be shared and enjoyed by everybody, while respecting the dietary constraints of those present. We rarely have more than four people around at the same time (unless it is family)