Guests for dinner. How much attention do you pay to likes and dislikes?

We have lots of people round for meals, many of whom I don't really know so I can't always check in advance if there's anything they can't eat. On those occasions I tend to stick with vegetarian meals with a side salad that can be added to if there's something in the main course that might be a problem. I never plate food, so people can help themselves to what they like from the choice on the table. People who eat here are usually just glad to have a meal in friendly company.

There are very few foods I don't like, but I would always make an effort to eat whatever's put in front of me. Famously we were once served apple and liver for breakfast when staying with friends abroad and I was very proud of my two plucky young sons who ate it without saying a word - except to decline second helpings!

sluttygran I was reminded by your post of the time the elder of my two stepgrandsons brought his girlfriend to visit us. I was taking them to an art exhibition in town and wanted to give them lunch first. I knew she was a bit of a picky eater but he said that roast chicken would be safe. She was very polite but pushed the food around her plate and ate very little. She was fairly uncommunicative most of the afternoon, and we have not found much to say to each other at subsequent meetings since. DH says he doesn't think we are "her type of people", but I think it was just me.

I love my family but they are not that easy to feed when we're all together.

Four are vegans (very strict vegans -I have just been told that rice crispies are not vegan because they are fortified with vitamin D and some vitamin D comes from sheep)

One has very serious allergies to all dairy products, eggs and sesame (a popular ingredient in vegetarian food)

Two eat fish but not meat.

One of the enthusiastic carnivores likes his meat pratically raw and another likes his burnt to a cinder.

Two of the meat eaters don't like ham.

One of the omnivores is diabetic.

One of the vegans doesn't like aubergines, celery or parsnips.

One of the omnivores won't have cucumber or dessicated coconut.

One of the children doesn't like anything "mixed up" - all the ingredients have to be seperate and recognisable.

Two of our family have recently been diagnosed with celiac disease so have to have gluten-free.

I don't like sago, semolina or tapioca (thanks to school dinners) but since I am the cook these things are never on the menu.

Fortunately I really like cooking. I spent hours last weekend trying to make gluten-free flat breads which turned out more like chipattis but they all got eaten.

Actually Christmas in our house is not too difficult. Most things are vegan (eg roast potatoes cooked in oil etc) but we have smoked salmon and roast turkey. In the turkey is a sausage based stuffing but we also have other vegan stuffings cooked in their own dishes.

It does take a bit of careful planning but shopping is so much easier than it would have been for a family like ours twenty or thirty years ago.

Well, got to the next stage now! A young friend and her DH are coming tomorrow with the 2 kids - so she said because of their intolerances, allergies and dislikes - she'd rather do the cooking herself!!!

Now I could get all uppity and upset- but honestly- she is welcome to it- and I'll eat what I am given. But it is funny ...

I posted on page one of this thread that my friend would probably still give DH chicken casserole even though I have dropped heavy hints that he really doesn't like it. We went there last week for lunch and guess what!! His face fell a mile when she produced it at the table. Did he eat it? Of course he did.

thatbags - if there's a hoof on your plate it will be horse. Or it could be cow, I suppose.

I'm one who panics when people have to be fed. Everyone seems so fussy these days and DH is particularly fussy. I have learned to cope with his fussiness but if others turn up who are fussy in another direction I throw my hands up in horror. I never have a dinner party if I can help it, horrid things. I prefer to meet up with friends and go to a restaurant - let the chef cope with all these fussy people if the menu can't. I once had a friend who sent back a salad for goodness sake. I think she found a spot of red pepper in it.