I think there might be arguments!

Buffet? One table with meat etc and one with vegan/veggie?

I should have added that any vegetarian or vegan I have spoken to have always been happy to answer my questions

I am a meat eater who has "quizzed" vegans and vegetarians but only because I am interested in how easy or difficult it is to find places that cater to them (apparently this is getting easier), do they have "celebration" foods (like we have turkey at Christmas). Just as I am curious about the traditions of someone from another culture, so I am interested in the reasons someone chooses to be vegetarian or vegan - a choice incidentally which I respect.

All the vegetarians I know are like Wilma’s family, they just accept that some people eat meat and others don’t and don’t preach.

I have met meat eaters who go on and on and on, as nauseum, quizzing vegetarians about their lifestyle choice though.

Both need to shut up and allow everyone to feast in peace.

Tell them beforehand you don’t want this behaviour at your table.

I think that Wilma offers very good advice on this, in fact I can’t add to it. Good luck!

sluttygran as a long term veggie I think you need to speak to your DD before Boxing Day. As her mother tell that her family accepted her decision to be vegan a long time ago. They respect her decision as her personal decision and the time has come when she must accept the personal decisions of the rest of the family not to be vegan (even if she does not respect their decision). As her mother and hostess explain that you will be serving vegan and non-vegan food and she needs to accept the situation and not spoil the day for everyone else.

If she is naturally argumentative (as are my family) as you say, then she will have something to say back to you (!), but as her mother you will probably need to be blunt and tell her it's time for her to shut up about this.

We have a mixture of veggies and non-veggies in our family, but none of us would try to impose our decision on the others. That goes for my friends too and quite frankly I would have no friends left if I went on like your DD.

As for the day itself, maybe having a sit down buffet would make things a little easier? Then the non-vegan might try some of the vegan options and that might appease her a bit. At the moment she sounds like a nightmare.

Best of luck.

I have two vegetarian daughters-in-law. They wouldn't dream of being so rude as to criticise what other people eat in our house. They both have different religious observances, too, but have never imposed those observances onto my house.

In your position, I'd make sure the vegetarian food was kept strictly apart from anything else and then tell your daughter that otherwise, it's your house and your rules.

At the risk of being controversial......
I'm finding more and more that vegetarians and vegans expect meat eaters to compromise (ie not eat meat in their presence) whilst not being prepared to compromise on their own position. I KNOW this is a huge generalisation and that it isn't as black and white as that but more of my vegetarian friends are becoming increasingly strident