Dinner time probs

Is this real? I apologise if I’m off the mark, but the original post seems so obviously provocative and odd, I can’t help but wonder of the OP is trolling!

When I was small I was a very slow eater and my Mum took me to the Drs. We were told that some children have a narrow food pipe(oesophagus) and must be allowed to eat at their own pace. So smaller meals more often, and moist food was suggested. It made such a difference and took the pressure off me. Even now I love lots of gravy/sauces and have a glass of water with meals.

Retro have I missed you coming back to say if this is in fact a marathon meal or not?

I tend to let my DGC help themselves so the take what they can eat. They know they have to a) have some veg, b) not take more than is fair if others are eating too. After that it's up to them. Self regulation is the way to go!

What’s the need for speed eating? Surely it’s a nice time to chat and enjoy the food? When I’ve spent ages cooking a meal I would much rather it were savoured and appreciated than inhaled!

OP Some helpful advice in PP. Do be careful, it would be sad if mealtime stress were to put the GDs off visiting you.

Like Mapleleaf I think giving small portions is the way to go, eat as slowly as you can yourself, once you stop eating they will invariably stop, I push the food round my plate and wait. I expect they cry because quite rightly they can't see they have done anything to get told off about. If one is much slower than the others try to get the others talking so they stay at the table.

My ex brother in law made my niece eat shepherds pie when a little girl and she was sick ...poor girl .. I used to dread it when he visited I was only 4 years older than niece ... cruelty .. my dad couldn’t have been more different to him....

Meal times should be pleasurable, not something to dread. What’s The hurry? If you are reducing the children to tears at meal times, you are going to make them associate eating meals with something unpleasant, which could lead to all sorts of food related issues in the future.
Have you considered the portion sizes on their plates? It might be that there looks, to them, too much to tackle. Perhaps you already do, but if not, I’d suggest using smaller plates with smaller portions. If they clear their plates and are still hungry, you can always offer more, but please, don’t make them hurry their food.
It’s actually healthier to eat food more slowly than quickly as it’s better for your digestive system and for your brain to get the message when you are full.
Mealtimes are a great time to talk to each other and catch up with what is going on. Even young children like to talk about what they’ve been doing. Of course, there will be occasions when you might need to remind them to eat, but it should be done in a way that doesn’t reduce them to tears. Try not to turn it into an issue.

I cooked a meal for 4 grandchildren yesterday. I took their plates to the garden and they sat and ate on the grass. Whether they ate slow or fast I don't know. There was no pressure either way, but i did have clean plates.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Apparently eating slowly is actually healthy and makes you less likely to have a problem with putting on weight, now or later for the GC. I used to tell my children to stop eating when they had had enough, (not to finish all they had on their plates - when you don't need more is the time to stop) , and we only had puddings at the weekend, and then it was often yoghurt or fresh fruit. I agree that hurrying children tends to make them slow down - maybe this is what has happened here. It may feel hard, but leave them alone, don't comment, and over time it will, I think, sort itself out. Or if you see it differently after reading the responses from GN, you might even talk to the children and say openly and without blame on either side, that you see things differently now.

Please, please don't make them cry over mealtimes. I've always been a slow eater and have unhappy memories of being 'hurried' and trying to eat whilst sobbing. It can have long lasting effects on eating and I still struggle with issues 50 years later. Just enjoy having your grandchildren with you.

Slow eating is better for the digestive system, let them be. What is the problem, are you wanting to hurry to do the washing up or put the dishes in the dishwasher? Just because you eating quickly this doesn't mean you right. If you want to lose their love then carry on the way you are.

Just stop stressing about food, meals etc. If they are eating, albeit slowly what's the problem? I would say 30 to 40 minutes was ok. Is it much longer?
The more we flap over meals the more power we give to kids and the bigger battle we create.

....and the problem is.......? Not the children eating slowly, but you making them cry!! Making them cry for pity's sake!

I was always a slow eater, it used to make parents cross and they would put a bedside clock on the table to spur me on. It was some time before I realised the clock didn't work.
Even now I am usually the last person a the table to finish my meal.

When I was a child and said I didn't like some food or other my Mum would take it away and give me it back for tea.
It didn't happen often, as I've always liked most things.
Apart from tripe. I dug in my heels over that.

It was the rule at home when I was young that nobody left the table until everyone had finished eating. When we've had GC to stay in the past we've always sat and waited for them. They are both very slow and very small eaters. I find it most frustrating when I serve them something that they loved the previous time only to be told "I don't like X Y Z" I just roll my eyes at H and ignore them and by magic the food disappears I never try to hurry them to the point of tears. Though may say "eat up, there is X for afters"

storyette

We have the this problem in reverse! DGS (8yr old) is a quick eater but really enjoys his food. When he is finished his main course (clean plate) he asks if he can leave the table and when DH and I are finished I give him a call to come back for his sweet and he comes running. I would add that he is growing fast and up the way not out the way!!

I am trying to imagine mealtimes.
Do you eat with the children, chat to them and make it a family occasion?
Or do you serve them their food and stand back, waiting for them to finish?
If the latter, then try the other!
If the former, perhaps you are a quick eater yourself?
Whichever, putting pressure on children, in my experience, in whatever activity usually results in them going even slower.
And the last thing you want is for mealtimes to become an ordeal either for them or for you.

I’m a slow eater. It’s because I really enjoy my food.

I would love to have slow eaters around the table. It gives lots of time to chat, catch up on what has been happening, have some good conversations about whatever they are interested in.

Maybe they are eating slowly so they can stay at the table for longer and are craving some attention.

Retr0gran I'm puzzled as to why you want the children to speed up. Is it because you need to be somewhere afterwards?
My father-in-law is without doubt the slowest eater I have ever met, it's a family joke that when everyone else at the table has finished he is still only half way through his food, but his response to gentle teasing is that he is savouring his food and enjoying the accompanying conversation. Meals at family get-togethers are therefore conducted at a leisurely pace and my children know not to expect to (nor do they want to) make a fast exit from the table. My own grandmother would have approved as she was always making us slow down when we were eating a meal at her house. Anyone else remember being told to chew each mouthful of food a gazillion times?

Certainly don't try to make them eat faster - mealtimes can become a battleground where the children always win. I've seen it, sad to say.
Or try OldMeg's suggestion.