Dinner time probs

Why do they have to eat quickly? Surely its better for their digestion if they eat slowly or at a speed they're happy with.Dont make mealtimes a battle you wont be doing you or them any favours

Retro, are you back in touch with them again? I remember your post on another thread, that’s good news!

So you are saying that you make them cry when they are eating?? When they are actually eating??

FHS leave them alone, food should be enjoyed, I’m afraid if you were my MIL or mother I would be having a serious word with you.

I too can’t see the problem with slow eating??
My family meals as a child took a couple of hours, my parents would chat to me and each other over the food. I would be allowed to pick at the food until I had eaten enough. My own DGC are grazers too, and nobody minds (they are 8,6,6,4 and a baby)
my advice is to relax about meals. You don’t after all want to help to create issues around food?

Use dinner time as time to sit and chat while they eat .surely it's not a race and don't make them eat it all up and definitely not quickly .
It all sounds very draconian and wrought with stress. Why do you want to make them cry by rushing it .maybe they don't like your cooking.

Oh dear. My DGS is such a picky eater I ' d let him take as long as necessary to consume a meal.
One acquaintance of mine saw every mealtime as a battleground and struggled for many years.
Food can be a focus for emotional issues so please don't risk that and relax!
You sound like a loving but misguided gran and I am surprised that the parents haven't discussed this with you.

Did you tried to offer them some sweets if they ends up meal fast?

That’s a great idea, eat a dinner and then have sweets!!

Not.

There is no problem with children eating slowly and enjoying their meal, unless they are messing around.
If they were rudely shovelling the food into their mouths, that would be something to complain about that.

Why pressure them ? Is this a race or a meal ? Leave them alone and they'll eat what they need. Making them cry at mealtimes seems like a very poor way to entertain those you love.

If you need them finished by a certain time, then serve it early. Do you eat with them, if you finish and are left waiting for them, I would get into the habit of an after dinner cup of tea. I wouldn’t rush them, they are very young, and if they eating and not playing with the food I don’t see a problem. Sorry

Just wanted to add, that time sat at the table with them should be enjoyable, I have to say I’m a little envious that you have that time, that one to one.

Don’t invest too much into preparing meals. Make something simple they like, pasta, fish fingers, beans on toast, whatever. Get them to help and maybe serve themselves? Don’t hurry them up.

Stress and insistence about how meals and food should be done is a shortcut to eating disorders. Food and mealtimes should be enjoyable social occasions. Talk to them about their day give them small portions, they can have more if they are still hungry. Don't rush them or they will not want to come and eat with you at all. What is the rush anyway you have your grandchildren visiting you, everything else can wait.

And why are you making them cry FFS

Slightly off piste we feed my 15 year old DGS once a week. It's the only time he puts down his phone and we have a really good conversation, including his opinions on current affairs. It's wonderful and I thought we had his undivided attention. Until last week when I noticed that underneath his hair he was wearing an ear bud and having his own soundtrack! Oh well. Not quite 100per cent attention then. I shall miss that special time when it comes to an end.

If they have to finish eating to keep an appointment afterwards, can they just start earlier?

Maybe you had 75% of his attention that is still better than nothing.lol

If I remember correctly then in a fish tank uneaten food ought to be removed after 5 (?) minutes.

I’d apply the same principle to grandchildren. They obviously aren’t that hungry so after 10-15 minutes (?) let them leave the table. No snacks or pudding of course.

Certainly don't try to make them eat faster - mealtimes can become a battleground where the children always win. I've seen it, sad to say.
Or try OldMeg's suggestion.

Retr0gran I'm puzzled as to why you want the children to speed up. Is it because you need to be somewhere afterwards?
My father-in-law is without doubt the slowest eater I have ever met, it's a family joke that when everyone else at the table has finished he is still only half way through his food, but his response to gentle teasing is that he is savouring his food and enjoying the accompanying conversation. Meals at family get-togethers are therefore conducted at a leisurely pace and my children know not to expect to (nor do they want to) make a fast exit from the table. My own grandmother would have approved as she was always making us slow down when we were eating a meal at her house. Anyone else remember being told to chew each mouthful of food a gazillion times?

I would love to have slow eaters around the table. It gives lots of time to chat, catch up on what has been happening, have some good conversations about whatever they are interested in.

Maybe they are eating slowly so they can stay at the table for longer and are craving some attention.

I’m a slow eater. It’s because I really enjoy my food.

I am trying to imagine mealtimes.
Do you eat with the children, chat to them and make it a family occasion?
Or do you serve them their food and stand back, waiting for them to finish?
If the latter, then try the other!
If the former, perhaps you are a quick eater yourself?
Whichever, putting pressure on children, in my experience, in whatever activity usually results in them going even slower.
And the last thing you want is for mealtimes to become an ordeal either for them or for you.

We have the this problem in reverse! DGS (8yr old) is a quick eater but really enjoys his food. When he is finished his main course (clean plate) he asks if he can leave the table and when DH and I are finished I give him a call to come back for his sweet and he comes running. I would add that he is growing fast and up the way not out the way!!