Menus for grieving niece.

Agree with those who'd like her to participate. Presumably you are all grieving, but have to get on with it. Don't be doormats.

"Don't be doormats" is exactly right.

If what is said about The Niece is true, I'm actually quite shocked that anyone dares to be so rude! Critical of her uncle and aunt!? How dare she? Didn't her parents teach her any manners?

Okay, times have changed and people are generally better off so may actually have a choice of food or be able to afford choices, but the very idea of being fussy and critical at the house of obliging (and aged) relatives is monstrous.

Pasta with tomato sauce and grated cheese. With a side salad, and garlic bread if you can be bothered to make some.

Chops?

Don't be too accommodating she might want to come again.😏

Years ago, and I mean YEARS, cheap cafes used to offer a thing called "chop toad" (yes, sounds horrific, doesn't it?) in which sausages were replaced by lamb chops. Maybe that would suit your guest. Also, a couple of vegetarian dishes would remove the "I only eat certain types of meat" problem. They don't have to be fancy or difficult - salad with a beautiful cheese or an omelette (in my case, that's just eggs beaten up with salt & pepper, cooked in a frying pan). Or boil some pasta & serve it with a pasta sauce (chilled or bottled). To be honest, it would be very rude of her to complain about when you're feeding her for 6 days. My advice is to try and feel better about yourself - it's good plain food and, unless she has a special dietary requirement, you're doing your best to treat her sensitively. I've been a vegetarian for 40 years and my mother-in-law never truly "got" it, so she served me egg & chips every time I had a meal there. She was also a "good plain cook" and was doing the best she could, so it never occurred to me to whinge about it. You're not at fault here. You sound like a nice lady, so just let the days run along and remind yourself it'll soon be over! Best of luck.

The big supermarkets generally sell ready-made garlic bread (8 slices to a packet) which only need throwing in the oven for 5-10 minutes. I hardly ever make my own since discovering that.

Also I can't believe someone who lives in Portugal doesn't like fish?🤐

Shepherds pie made with quorn instead of minced beef also make lasagne or bolognaise, tofu/ or qourn chicken pieces or fillets.
Quorn Escalops filled with brocoli cheese.
Quorn found in freezers at supermarkets.
I have a fussy friend like this
Big soup made with vegetables / beans with Orzo pasta in it served with garlic bread

BlueBelle

Cook what you wish to cook, at 85 you have done an awful lot arranging the funeral more than I could do and she is expecting far too much to be cooking outside your comfort zone

Cook what you are familiar with and she can eat or not

Have plenty of fruit in and some soup and some lovely crusty bread if she doesn’t like it let her eat out

I agree (and with others!).

If you feel like it, a beef casserole/boeuf bourguignon, throw in some red wine, can be frozen.
Welsh cawl, similar to a stew but with lamb.

She perhaps can cook a couple of nights and take you out another evening.

She is grieving because she has lost her father but that doesn't mean she should be demanding and unappreciative of your efforts.
Your husband has lost his brother and he (and you) are grieving too.

NonGrannyMoll

The big supermarkets generally sell ready-made garlic bread (8 slices to a packet) which only need throwing in the oven for 5-10 minutes. I hardly ever make my own since discovering that.

Does anyone make their own? 😯

Allira

NonGrannyMoll

The big supermarkets generally sell ready-made garlic bread (8 slices to a packet) which only need throwing in the oven for 5-10 minutes. I hardly ever make my own since discovering that.

Does anyone make their own? 😯

I did once. But it was definitely not worth the faff. It tasted no better than shop bought, created a lot of mess and cost about 4 times as much!

Allira

NonGrannyMoll

The big supermarkets generally sell ready-made garlic bread (8 slices to a packet) which only need throwing in the oven for 5-10 minutes. I hardly ever make my own since discovering that.

Does anyone make their own? 😯

No but I make garlic baked potatoes: thinnishly sliced and pressed to an angle but still whole so to speak; crushed garlic in melted butter poured over and baked 😋

Ooh Baggs what time shall I come up tomorrow?

Baggs

Allira

NonGrannyMoll

The big supermarkets generally sell ready-made garlic bread (8 slices to a packet) which only need throwing in the oven for 5-10 minutes. I hardly ever make my own since discovering that.

Does anyone make their own? 😯

No but I make garlic baked potatoes: thinnishly sliced and pressed to an angle but still whole so to speak; crushed garlic in melted butter poured over and baked 😋

Oh yes, they're very good!
Hasselback potatoes.

Is your niece serious!!?? You plan the funeral , put her up, and feed her for 6 days! You have are both 86 and say both ' pretty frail ' Quite simply this is too much ! In defense of your niece , because she lives so far away she may not have realized the position you are in. Are you in an area where you can buy ' Cook's frozen meals , they are very tasty and cook straight from the freezer. Or you can buy on line. Pleased don't run yourselves ragged. Could you explain to your niece ,be honest and tell her it is just too much for you. Perhaps she can stay in a nearby hotel and you could invite her to yours for a couple of meals. If in your heart you know this is too much follow your instincts. Even without her being difficult to feed this is not reasonable! Good luck 💐

I suggest she (or all of you) go out to eat on a couple of occasions and then order takeaways. You are frail and she has an unbelievably restrictive diet. Whatever you cook, I can almost guarantee she will not like and you will be wasting your time and money. You've organised the funeral which is no mean feat and she's a grown woman in her 50's, not a heartbroken child. Eat out, get takeaways and get some eggs in as a standby. Sorted. You shouldn't be under this pressure.

I would check out if there is a good take away pizza and also chinese take away. . ask friends for recommendations . That at least could be your back up, where you could choose what you each wanted and they would deliver it to you. You could make a really lovely casserole with shin beef, and lots of vegetables . I still tend to make mine in the pressure cooker as it cooks quicker and you get great gravy with shin. So that could be cooked in advance and actually tastes better the following day , or you could freeze it. Jacket potatoes would go well with that and would be easy to make . I would also prepare for a diplomatic - or probably real- - not feeling well enough to do anything, where you could say what a good job she is so good at cooking and she can make something for you all!! If she wont do that (personally I would show her the door) suggest she goes out for something herself and you two have something from the freezer or get her to bring you in somethin.g. Make this the last time you let her stay with you and once this is over ,i n the near future contact her and part of your email or letter will be to say that you found it all very difficult and it has taken you a long time to get over it and the doctor says that you are not up to having people staying with you. In the meantime make something you really like and freeze it so that you have something to look forward to. Best of luck with it all and dont feel in the slightest bit guilty about any of it.

flappergirl

I suggest she (or all of you) go out to eat on a couple of occasions and then order takeaways. You are frail and she has an unbelievably restrictive diet. Whatever you cook, I can almost guarantee she will not like and you will be wasting your time and money. You've organised the funeral which is no mean feat and she's a grown woman in her 50's, not a heartbroken child. Eat out, get takeaways and get some eggs in as a standby. Sorted. You shouldn't be under this pressure.

👍🏻

Its been good for my husband to have the funeral arrangements to make, and the local undertaker has been amazingly helpful.
We've stayed with niece for holidays which is how I got to understand her likes and dislikes over food. She has been incredibly generous with holiday accommodation and has fed us and taken us on excursions during our stays. I'm happy to do this for her.
However I am now very tired and suddenly started to panic over food. I'd intended to cook the meals in advance and freeze them, and I shall certainly take some of these suggestions on board and stick them in the freezer.
Thankyou everyone, you have been a great help.
A few early nights and I'll be back in full working order.

ExDancer - don’t overthink this (I usually tie myself in knots doing so). You have helped with funeral arrangements, you are putting her up, my guess is she won’t mind too much what you feed her. If she does mind, ask her to take over. However (and here I go again!), I would stay away from sausages and mince for the simple reason that I have a friend who gags at the thought of what goes into them.

Do speak to her, though, ExDancer and tell her your concerns over food and how you suddenly feel tired. Let her take up some of the slack. I’m sure she wouldn’t want either of you to make yourselves ill over this. 💐

and suddenly started to panic over food

I'd be the same, yet I used to cater for friends and family in large numbers years ago!

Perhaps you could just contact her and ask her if she has any allergies or dislikes and stick to what a friend used to call the KIS method - Keep It Simple.

Reported

Aldom

If you registered with Gousto you could select any number of interesting, delicious meals which accommodate your niece's food preferences. All Gousto ingredients are fresh and come with the relevant recipes. A whole host of tasty meals without the burden of having to shop for ingredients.

This is an excellent idea. Gousto has a huge range to choose from and you can select vegetarian options to screen out things she won’t eat. There are usually half price offers for new customers, too.