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Food

Menus for grieving niece.

(101 Posts)
ExDancer Thu 05-Dec-24 11:12:14

My husband's brother has died, and his daughter (our niece) is coming over from Portugal to stay with us for the week of the funeral.
We are both 85 and pretty fragile, but happy to put her up she's coming a long way and is alone and grieving for her Dad. She's in her 50s.
She asked us to make all the funeral arrangements, which hasn't been straightforward yet everything is finally arranged.
So what's my problem?
Answer - cooking.
I'm a plain cook (as most people my age are) and she's an expert and not shy with criticism, I usually batch-cook for the freezer, but plain things like shepherd's pie, hotpot, beef pies etc.
She doesn't like mince and that includes sausages, or chicken or lamb or fish, I use a lot of chicken and mince.
So I'm currently wracking my brains as to what to make - I need 6 meals I can produce quickly, preferably from the freezer - please can any of you come up with some ideas?
So far I have a menu of:-
Roast pork etc for Sunday
Toad in the hole for Monday (yes I know - sausages) but easy
Tuesday? Wednesday? Thursday? Friday? Saturday?

sandelf Thu 05-Dec-24 16:28:52

Quick, sumptuous - the box meals from supermarkets - have a look at ham hocks in maple sauce...

Carenza123 Thu 05-Dec-24 16:11:11

Oh goodness! Sounds like hard work. I would ask her to cook something for you all that she wants to eat and - as others have suggested - let her shop in a supermarket. Make it easy for yourselves. Best of luck.

Patsy70 Thu 05-Dec-24 16:09:32

Vegetables, eggs, cheese, pasta, rice, bread, salads, soup, tapas dishes. I suggest you cook and freeze what you would normally eat, then your niece can choose from the fridge what she is happy with. Hopefully, she’ll be gracious enough to cook her own meal.

MissAdventure Thu 05-Dec-24 16:03:40

I agree with bags too.
At the very least, tell your hosts they needn't worry, and you'll sort out your own food arrangements.

Vintagegirl Thu 05-Dec-24 15:54:46

Pizza and salad?

Oreo Thu 05-Dec-24 15:54:14

Baggs

Good grief!

Take her to the nearest supermarket and shoo her in. Tell her you'll wait in the car (or a cafe).

A parent dying is not an excuse for being utterly self-centred and precious. What happened - serious health issues appart - to eating what's put in front of you in someone else's house?

Exactly this!

Aldom Thu 05-Dec-24 15:48:30

Welbeck Besides being the niece's father the deceased is the younger brother of the OP's husband so I imagine that is partly the the reason for them arranging the funeral.

Aldom Thu 05-Dec-24 15:15:31

If you registered with Gousto you could select any number of interesting, delicious meals which accommodate your niece's food preferences. All Gousto ingredients are fresh and come with the relevant recipes. A whole host of tasty meals without the burden of having to shop for ingredients. smile

welbeck Thu 05-Dec-24 14:54:27

This doesn't sound right.
Why have you two elderly people had to do all the funeral arrangements??
And how close was she if she was living in a different country.
Just eat what you normally do.
She can get take aways or have food delivered or go shopping or eat out.
She's lucky you are putting her up.
Don't set fire to yourselves to keep someone else warm.
They'll walz off and you'll be exhausted.

Margiknot Thu 05-Dec-24 14:54:07

It sounds like she is at least semi vegetarian. How about a simple tray bake- root veg and butternut squash chopped into half inch chunks, ( ready prepared perhaps) - baked with oil and herbs for 30 minutes and scattered with something you all like such as Greek cheese or pecans with blue cheese.

silverlining48 Thu 05-Dec-24 14:42:24

ExDancer, just seen your post, which crossed with mine.

silverlining48 Thu 05-Dec-24 14:39:11

She may not be expecting you to cook every day. You could go out one night, or get fish and chips in. She may have friends to meet if she has any connections locally.
Our daughter similar age lives abroad and when she comes back here she’s off to different friends most days. We get a day or so with her, but not much more.
Obviously these are different circumstances, try not to be concerned too much about food. It will work out. I am sure she’s grateful that you were able to manage the funeral arrangements.
I am sorry for your loss.

vegansrock Thu 05-Dec-24 14:38:55

Mushroom risotto
Chickpea and cashew nut curry with rice
Nut loaf with roast potatoes , veg etc

Iam64 Thu 05-Dec-24 14:34:33

Seriously - I’d suggest you do jacket spuds n salad the first evening the go to M and S and encourage her to select (and hopefully pay for) the limited items she eats

ExDancer Thu 05-Dec-24 14:33:42

I do agree with everyone who ponders on what she lives on at home.
Going on what she makes for us when we've visited I gather she eats lots of salads, she make the most amazing salads! But of course we usually visit her in summer and the choice of salad vegetables in Portugal in summer knocks what's available in the UK in winter into a cocked hat.
She'll be visiting relatives whilst she's here so I'm hoping not to be having to provide many lunches. We usually have home made soup or sandwiches for lunch, and the left over pork from Sunday will make nice sandwiches.
I wonder if lean pork could be substituted for chicken in some dishes? Something to consider for future visits.
Actually, I think I'm just tired from all this funeral arranging and also dealing with DH who has lost his little brother so I'm making a mountain out of a molehill.
There are some good ideas here grans - thankyou - I'll let you know how things progress.

Septimia Thu 05-Dec-24 14:29:58

Corned beef toad-in-the-hole.

Nansnet Thu 05-Dec-24 14:25:47

Beef Stroganoff
Beef Goulash
Beef in red wine/bourguignon
Beef brisket slow-cooked ragu, with any pasta
Beef curry & rice

All above can be cooked ahead and frozen, serve with either mash, baby potatoes, rice or noodles, & selection of veg.

Beef fillet steak - quickly pan fried, with M&S peppercorn sauce, baby boiled or baby roast potatoes, green beans, etc.

Pork tenderloin medallions, quickly pan-fried, serve with potatoes/veg, & one of M&S sauce pouches - Bramley apple & cider, or Creamy mushroom, are nice (don't tell her you bought them!wink.
Pork Schnitzel with creamy cheesy mash & veg.
Gammon & egg, with potato wedges or chips, & peas.

Prawn curry & rice
Prawn Caesar salad topped with hard boiled egg & croutons, with a nice baguette.
Aubergine parmigiana with salad
Vegetarian Moussaka with Greek salad
Vegetarian mixed bean chilli with rice
Bacon & Leek quiche with salad
Steak & Mushroom pie with veg
Tray-baked Mediterranean roast vegetables with Feta cheese (aubergine/courgette/red onions/cherry tomatoes/mixed peppers/garlic) served with sliced baguette, brushed with olive oil/garlic and toasted in the oven.

Have a 'no cook' night and put out a grazing platter of cooked sliced meats, cheeses, pate, baguette, crackers, pickles, olives & chutney, etc.

Hope you can find something your niece enjoys from all the lovely suggestions posters have given you.flowers

11unicorn Thu 05-Dec-24 14:17:58

Quiche with a side salad - you can buy a ready one or make one and freeze ahead
Vegetable lasagna with side salad. Costo sells an amazing one or of course home made - again easy to freeze

JdotJ Thu 05-Dec-24 14:12:12

Quiche and couscous/salad?
I know not winter food but only one meal
Warm buttered rolls with it

BlueBelle Thu 05-Dec-24 14:10:39

Cook what you wish to cook, at 85 you have done an awful lot arranging the funeral more than I could do and she is expecting far too much to be cooking outside your comfort zone

Cook what you are familiar with and she can eat or not

Have plenty of fruit in and some soup and some lovely crusty bread if she doesn’t like it let her eat out

PinkCosmos Thu 05-Dec-24 14:09:20

Tesco do tray bakes for four - but realistically would feed three.

They are in foil trays and you just put them in the oven for half an hour.

They have things like Swedish Meatballs in sauce, hunter's chicken, beef hotpot, chicken korma etc. They are around £6.50

I make mash and veg (broccoli and green beans) or rice to go with them.

They are very tasty and easy when I have been at work all day and can't be bothered to cook from scratch

GrannyIvy Thu 05-Dec-24 14:08:49

I think I’d suggest eating out once or maybe twice if budget allows. Otherwise I would plan a roast dinner one night and check with her on the other days what she fancies and if need be maybe resort to ready meals from Waitrose or M & S. Maybe pizza one night. Try not to stress and go with the flow.

Wyllow3 Thu 05-Dec-24 14:08:30

Salti

Cornish pasties
Scampi
Pizza
Fettuccine Alfredo or macaroni cheese
Homemade soup with crusty bread
All day full english breakfast
Vol au vents filled with mushrooms in white sauce

I agree with taking her to M n S food hall and say honestly we dont know what you'd like please choose, as well as stocking up on the basics someone has done a good list.

paddyann54 Thu 05-Dec-24 14:08:28

Go vegetarian ,there are loads of quick easy recipes online .She sounds like me ,I don’t eat any fowl,never have ,don’t eat pork or much in the way of meat either so my diet is quite restricted in some minds.
I doeat well lots of eggs ,omelettes quiche useless crustless which takes the pastry out of the time spent on it,normally pasta with mushroom cream sauce or smoked salmon and prawns in a cream sauce,pasta with a simple tomato sauce add herbs or chilli to make it different ,My favourite pasta is just good olive oil and Parmesan.
Make a mushroom stroganoff and serve with a vegetable rice .The possibilities are endless.SadlyI.m off carbs for now due to a diabetic diagnosis that I,m working to reverse so loads of beans in simple stews or salads and loads of soups .
Good luck with her to be honest I wouldn,t like to be asked to feed someone as fussy as me but I never go hungry so it is possible

Salti Thu 05-Dec-24 14:03:45

Cornish pasties
Scampi
Pizza
Fettuccine Alfredo or macaroni cheese
Homemade soup with crusty bread
All day full english breakfast
Vol au vents filled with mushrooms in white sauce