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Why can't I cook any more?

(55 Posts)
ftm420 Sat 11-Jan-25 19:55:54

Now that the kids are all grown up & it's (mostly, as DS27 still lives with us) me and DH for dinner, I'm trying to get back into cooking what I call 'real' food ie not just sausages and bolognese, which DH had taken over re responsibility for.

I just can't seem to get it right. I used to be able to cook. This evening I did salmon and burned the steamed veg (I forgot to put water under the steamer and it burnt, although once I'd realised and rescued it, the veg turned out OK.)

Other times I don't cook enough in terms of quantity or I cook a veg no one likes, or I just try a more adventurous recipe and he turns his nose up

Even roasts on a Sunday which has traditionally been my day, has turned into a pig. I used to be really proud of my yorkshire puds, but now they fail every week, in different ways!

What is going on? Is it a menopause thing and I'm not concentrating, or do I just keep practising until my cooking skills comes back?!

Babs03 Sun 12-Jan-25 15:49:35

I used to be able to knock together a lovely meal in next to no time when the kids were at home, and often had big dinner parties, trying out new dishes, I used to love cooking.
Now is mostly just me and him indoors, so I admit that I have got lazy. Over Xmas I had to cook up a storm for the whole family and it was not up to my previous standards, nobody noticed though because I just got rid of disasters and put out the good stuff. It also exhausted me.
I think I have probably gone off cooking as well, it just doesn't float my boat anymore, and after years of cooking for everyone else am looking forwards to one of my daughter's hosting xmas next year.

Allira Sun 12-Jan-25 16:06:00

Norah

silverlining48

Oh yes, the other thing I still cook successfully is red cabbage .
It freezes so well too.

Perhaps ftm420 would find sausage, mas and red cabbage a menu pleasant to accomplish. Always successful, nice practice.

Yes, red cabbage goes well with sausage and mash.

I love it, DH not so much.

Farmor15 Sun 12-Jan-25 21:24:07

I was a bit like you a while ago, ftm420 - seemed to have lost the knack of cooking for a crowd. However, after some practice recently, with a lot of family members coming and going, I seem to have improved and got back my cooking skills! So there's hope for all. smile

Witzend Mon 13-Jan-25 13:41:48

So many GN husbands who’ve taken over the cooking! My dh still doesn’t cook, but he invariably clears up the kitchen, loads the dishwasher and unloads it in the morning, so that suits me fine. I’d much rather cook than clear up!

Mmc123uk Mon 13-Jan-25 13:57:20

Hello Fresh has been my saving grace at 63 lol...I love eating but find cooking so absolutely tedious. Saves me money too as I never throw anything away now!

Tonysarahjackson Mon 13-Jan-25 14:44:12

I must admit as a very keen cook,as the kids have left home and there's just the 2 of us,I've found it's hard not having a hissy fit /nervous breakdown doing a full English lol,we're probably out of practice but hey ho there's always plenty of restaurants grin

Dowsabella Mon 13-Jan-25 16:40:11

Kate1949

My husband is a great cook. Me? If it doesn't go ping I don't cook it.

I'm with you Kate! The only exception is Christmas dinner!
I used to love cooking for the Guides on camp, 70 on one occasion, but cooking over an open fire is very different from in my kitchen. I've realised now it's just the two of us, that I don't enjoy cooking, and DH is a far better baker than I am, or ever will be!! So I just tell him what to cook, and he does it. My sister-in-law is the same with cooking, though she does do the washing up afterwards. If it's my turn to wash up, I just load the dishwasher wink!!

homefarm Mon 13-Jan-25 16:55:36

I have a similar problem. I have come to the conclusion that I'm bored with it all and basically don't want to. Sad.

Greciangirl Mon 13-Jan-25 17:35:19

I think it must be an age thing as I can’t cook either.
If I do attempt anything from a simple recipe, something always goes wrong.
Last week I attempted to make a red lentil soup with lots of veg instead of buying ready made for a change.

I must have turned the hob up to high instead of low and it burnt. I could have sworn I had turned it to low and was angry and annoyed with myself.

And I never cook big meals when family visit and just can’t cope. At least they do understand and don’t expect it now after so many years of catering for them..
I do wish I had the enthusiasm for cooking that I used to have.

Sleepygran Mon 13-Jan-25 17:59:49

I do so hate cooking!
When chatting with my sil, we both agreed that thinking about what to cook for the evening meal was a worry and cooking it was a chore.My dh who was earwigging loudly proclaimed’ what a load of tosh,you’re bothmaking heavy weather of it as you need to worry about something’
So a challenge for him,I said ok I’ve done it daily for more than 50 years, your time to have a go.He accepted the challenge on the understanding it was daily for at least 6 months!
What a surprise,I get asked regularly what shall I do for dinner,and I bat it back,whatever you do is fine with me!
Over 6 months in and he’s still doing it, it we have and wishes and crisps at least 3 times a week as he finds it hard to think of what to do every night!!!

DeeAitch56 Mon 13-Jan-25 18:00:50

Same problem here, I could cook and have done so for over 50 years, even being a school cook for 10years, but for the past few years it’s an effort even thinking of what to cook. My husband would be happy with takeaways or microwave meals, but I need to watch what I eat due to diabetes. So I need to be among other things low carb, I will admit to using frozen mashed potatoes recently just for DH as I’m not eating potatoes and it’s a lot of faff to prepare from scratch just for one person

Sleepygran Mon 13-Jan-25 18:01:03

I meant sandwiches and crisps not wishes.

Lizzie44 Mon 13-Jan-25 18:09:34

I think it's an age thing and to do with patience and attention to detail. My cooking isn't what it used to be. My pastry used to be highly praised but it's not very good now - to the extent that the family agreed this year that we would get shop-bought mince pies for the first time ever, and our turkey pie was made with shop-bought pastry. Husband does most of the cooking these days for which I'm very grateful, though I don't think he's as good a cook as I was in my heyday....

ftm420 Mon 13-Jan-25 18:49:23

I actually do enjoy cooking and find it therapeutic until I make a mistake and everyone tears it to pieces. I just can't seem to get it right. Someone mentioned Hello fresh - I used to use them and found their service great fun and meals were a doddle, but my family were always whinging that they didn't like something or other.

MissInterpreted Mon 13-Jan-25 18:53:19

ftm420

I actually do enjoy cooking and find it therapeutic until I make a mistake and everyone tears it to pieces. I just can't seem to get it right. Someone mentioned Hello fresh - I used to use them and found their service great fun and meals were a doddle, but my family were always whinging that they didn't like something or other.

Jings, if they're going to be that fussy , there's an easy answer - tell there to make their own food!

Dempie55 Mon 13-Jan-25 19:26:23

Now that I live alone, I have lost all interest in cooking. At night, I usually have a pan fried fish or an omelette, with some salad. When family visit, I just can’t face juggling saucepans, so will use the slow cooker for a casserole type dish, with some rice or jacket potatoes. Same with baking, just can’t be bothered any more.

Marleygirl Mon 13-Jan-25 19:49:17

I've loved this thread and feel so much better - after almost 60 years - of learning how others feel about the continuous work in the kitchen. Also, appreciate some of those great ideas. thank you everyone!

Marmight Mon 13-Jan-25 20:18:42

I’m glad it isn’t just me. I really try but even preparing food for just me is a nightmare and usually ends up in the bin. After years of creating wonders for the family and many dinner parties, I’ve totally run out of puff & I find the whole cooking thing quite exhausting. Luckily I have 3 sons in law who love cooking. So that’s ok when they visit but in between I can’t be arsed and resort to snacking which is disastrous. I’m thinking of signing up to a delivery service like Hello Fresh or Mindful Chef which might get me back on track. They send the goods plus instructions and off you go ……….

madeleine45 Mon 13-Jan-25 23:42:50

grannyIvy just say NO!! You have done your fair share of cooking and there is no law that says you have to be the cook ad infinitum. So re your group of 10 wanting a meal, I would take control. get the takeaway menu from the chinese, indian, piazza or whatever, or there is a pub that does sunday lunch that you can take away especially if you order in in advance. So I would just say in a normal voice, Oh about the dinner, you can have a look at these and decide now and then we can have it ordered before you arrive. If the daughter says that is her least favourite meal, ask her what is her favourite meal, when she tells you, you reply well that is fine you can cook it and I dont mind eating that instead. if you feel like doing it just add up how many meals you have made over the years and then just say well I have cooked XXX meals and that is way over my contract , and you could also mention that they do not seem to have even done half of their share so now it is their time to take over. stick to it , dont let them make you feel guilty or argue with them. when the day comes dont get a load of ingredients, if no one makes any effort ring the take away and order what you want and when it comes sit serenely eating your meal and just let them get on with it. Alternatively if you have a good friend, then I would make a plan to go off with her to have lunch elsewhere and just disappear and leave them to it. I have enjoyed cooking and made meals in all sorts of different places, but my back is very painful now and standing for a long time means that whatever I make , is overcome by the pain I am in. So I think i would prefer eating an omelette in comfort rather than some elaborate meal that costs me hours of pain.

Allira Tue 14-Jan-25 00:10:19

ftm420

I actually do enjoy cooking and find it therapeutic until I make a mistake and everyone tears it to pieces. I just can't seem to get it right. Someone mentioned Hello fresh - I used to use them and found their service great fun and meals were a doddle, but my family were always whinging that they didn't like something or other.

Show them the oven and hob!! 😯
Ungrateful lot.

Cabbie21 Tue 14-Jan-25 13:38:55

I have never really enjoyed cooking, but managed well enough when there was a family to cook for. I haven’t entertained more than one person for a meal for quite awhile now and don’t want to- though I would love an excuse to use my good dinner service.

Most of my meals now rely on either the air fryer or the microwave, with veg or pasta cooked on the hob. Best of all is to throw everything into the slow cooker. I don’t bother browning everything beforehand either. Too lazy.

EmilyHarburn Wed 15-Jan-25 13:18:40

Get a cook book for slow cooking and use a slow cooker or even 2. I get meals ready at lunchtime when I am not tired and this allows plenty of time. I have two cookers, a middle size one for us and a small one. In the small one you can core apples put in a mincemeat filling and some water, sugar and leave them to bake. The big one I pan fry the meat tossed in flour, give all the added root vegetables 15 mins in the microwave before adding. Leave on high for 2 hours add spices and herbs if necessary half an hour before end.

EmilyHarburn Wed 15-Jan-25 13:21:18

I do have a take away menu and every one coppers up £15 and someone goes win their car and picks it up 20 mins later.

BERYLC Fri 17-Jan-25 14:17:48

I used to love cooking and baking. Cakes, pastries etc but nowadays I cant seem to get anything right. I even burned spaghetti bolognese last weekend. My lovely chap bravely ate it but I only managed half of mine. Since then I tried some cherry scones - too dry and hard. Some mince pies - burned and a sponge cake - sank in the middle. What has gone wrong? Maybe I should throw away my rolling pin and buy my goodies from.the supermarket.

hollysteers Fri 17-Jan-25 18:08:09

I remember reading ages ago, a story about a failing marriage.
The meals deteriorated and they just did not taste the same.
The missing ingredient turned out to be love.