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Why can't I cook any more?

(54 Posts)
ftm420 Sat 11-Jan-25 19:55:54

Now that the kids are all grown up & it's (mostly, as DS27 still lives with us) me and DH for dinner, I'm trying to get back into cooking what I call 'real' food ie not just sausages and bolognese, which DH had taken over re responsibility for.

I just can't seem to get it right. I used to be able to cook. This evening I did salmon and burned the steamed veg (I forgot to put water under the steamer and it burnt, although once I'd realised and rescued it, the veg turned out OK.)

Other times I don't cook enough in terms of quantity or I cook a veg no one likes, or I just try a more adventurous recipe and he turns his nose up

Even roasts on a Sunday which has traditionally been my day, has turned into a pig. I used to be really proud of my yorkshire puds, but now they fail every week, in different ways!

What is going on? Is it a menopause thing and I'm not concentrating, or do I just keep practising until my cooking skills comes back?!

teabagwoman Sat 11-Jan-25 21:37:30

You’re not alone. I went through a phase where I lost all confidence in my cooking, nothing seemed to go quite right. I concentrated on relatively simple meals where I didn’t have to juggle timings etc. and gradually things have improved. I’m sure your cookery mojo will return given time and perhaps a little help from Delia Smith.

Gin Sat 11-Jan-25 22:30:03

I find that after cooking from scratch for over 60 years, I have lost all interest and in the main dish up what is quick and easy. I used to be a good cook but now when the family come I cannot get it right. I think it is just lack of practice.

Norah Sat 11-Jan-25 22:47:42

Perhaps begin again with easy food. Practice.

Tins of tomatoes, onion, garlic, spices, carrot. Cook add cream, spin in blender. With cheese grilled on bread and a green salad.

Jacket potatoes, filled with saute mushrooms, herbs, creme fraiche. Cabbage salad and bread.

Risotto. Lentil cottage pie. Pork fried rice.

Roasted chicken, potatoes and carrots in one roaster tin.

seadragon Sat 11-Jan-25 22:51:42

I'vè been elbowed out of the kitchen by DH except for the clearing up. I used to make the soups for lunch but he has even absorbed these into his repertoire. Now there is a family myth that I was never a good cook led mainly by DSis who never tires of stories about me pear flans and the DCs who only remember my DRTs ... dried rhino turds...which DH forgot to put in the Stove when they had risen as per my instructions. Part of the problem is that I specialised in cooking meat but we no longer eat it. If I do cook I make as much of a spectacular mess as DH but do the setting the table and the clearing up as well...so...I have retired gracefully from the cooking....and enjoy!!

Kate1949 Sat 11-Jan-25 23:00:05

My husband is a great cook. Me? If it doesn't go ping I don't cook it.

Lilypops Sat 11-Jan-25 23:03:30

Fm20. So glad it’s not just me, lately my cooking meals has been a bit of a disaster, after years of cooking for family and extended family ,and now there’s just the two of us I seem to have lost interest,it doesn’t help that DH has lost his sense of taste after the last Covid jab , so I think why bother. , I have lost the knack of getting lots of tasty flavours in to food, I would appreciate any tips and advice please as to how I van channel my inner Delia back. !!

Lilypops Sat 11-Jan-25 23:04:58

Gin that is exactly how I feel about cooking meals.

Allira Sat 11-Jan-25 23:09:57

Though I say it myself, I made a good Potato Dauphinoise this evening but while it was in the oven managed to burn the steak and fill the kitchen with smoke, setting the smoke alarm off.
Actually, the steak wasn't overdone, it was perfect although very brown on one side!

It has to be fairly simple recipes now.

V3ra Sun 12-Jan-25 00:28:52

My favourite way of cooking is one pot meals: Bolognese, chilli, curry, braising steak with vegetables, chicken casserole, fish stew.
I throw all the ingredients in a huge non-stick saucepan and simmer it all together at a low heat for several hours.
(There's always enough to freeze two portions for another day).
Then it's just an easy accompaniment: pasta, mashed potatoes, or (horror of horrors) a pouch of microwave wholegrain rice. Naan bread or tortilla chips as appropriate if I feel like it.

As I am generally at home during the day I can get this underway long before my husband gets home from work (and the bonus is it saves me having to wait while he cooks one of his complicated, long-winded S.W. recipes... 🤦)

Redhead56 Sun 12-Jan-25 01:20:13

My DH tried his best to over take the kitchen when he retired but before retirement he rarely showed any interest. Occasionally he does prepare and cook a few meals that he grew up with.

Retirement can bring out strange behaviour so it’s best hobbies are taken up with and encouraged. It will stop a certain person turning their nose up and crushing your confidence! You can get back to being the kitchen goddess you still are don’t be deflated get on with it and own your space.

BlueBelle Sun 12-Jan-25 05:41:22

Dislike cooking intensely and lately nothing seems to turn out right I made bread sauce at Christmas it certainly wasn’t my best and the cheese straws didn’t turn out very good either ended throwing them away M lovely seagulls loved them though I just don’t do anything much more than stir fry’s now

loopyloo Sun 12-Jan-25 06:19:03

Hmm it's all very interesting.
My DH eats very little and it has to be soft but hot and meaty. He's happy with half a ready meal.
My DD who lives with us half the time is veggie and cooks mostly pasta.
The DGC ... like completely different things.
Think that what people eat at home has changed completely over the years.
What I need to do is sneak in more fruit and veg.but it's difficult and I an definitely out of practice.

Greyduster Sun 12-Jan-25 07:08:08

Every other weekend I cook a roast dinner for the family and you can get your life something will go awry, or I’ll miss something out or make a mess of the timings. I used to enjoy cooking but now I’m happy with a jacket potato with tuna and sweetcorn, or stir fried vegetables with couscous and hot smoked salmon. Anything quick and easy. When there were two of us, I was more inclined to cook pies, casseroles, and “proper dinners”, but apart from batch cooking for the freezer occasionally I don’t spend a lot of time slaving over a hot stove these days.

Lovetopaint037 Sun 12-Jan-25 08:40:52

And I thought it was just me. Can’t seem to get anything right these days.

GrannyIvy Sun 12-Jan-25 08:50:45

I seem ok cooking for DH and myself but when the family come it always goes wrong. The children become “hangry” I’ve forgotten to put the Yorkshire’s in and the potatoes refuse to crisp and brown🤷‍♀️ It all takes longer and I get all hot and bothered.

I have to cook a roast for 10 at the end of January and although looking fwd to all being together will struggle providing a roast with all the trimmings. I did wonder about doing jacket potatoes and cold meats etc but DD1 said this is her most unfavourite meal!!

I’ll practise on DD2 and children today😂

teabagwoman Sun 12-Jan-25 12:04:08

GrannyIvy I struggle to put a roast and all the trimmings on the table just for four so you have my sympathy. I know the family will expect my roast lamb at Easter and I’m dreading it.

Madmeg Sun 12-Jan-25 12:34:50

I am no cook really. My DM was hopeless with instructions - "put a bit of flour in" did nothing for me, and she had never heard of scales! But she produced good, basic meals, mostly the same each week. At my posh girls grammar we had one year of "domestic science" which covered cookery, needlework and ironing. The idea was we would be able to ensure that our future staff did proper jobs of it. Despite me being very academic I absorbed every single lesson and can still make fantastic pastry (of all sorts) and embroider well.

In my teens, a boyfriend's parents went on holiday without the two sons and the elder boy's girlfriend volunteered to cook for them. My boyfriend wanted me to do my share so being pretty useless at all but pastry I bought the Good Housekeeping New Basic Cookery book as it was the only one sold in our village shop and I am still using it today. The elder brother's girlfriend got pregnant while the parents were away and the relationship with my boyfriend ended soon afterwards cos I wouldn't "do it"!

I was quite adventurous when newly married (with the cooking, no comment about "the other"!) but DH also produced a few "signature dishes" from an M&S cookbook.

When life got really busy (kids, careers etc) we batch-cooked a lot of casserole-type things and interspersed with fish and chips, sausage and mash and similar. We probably overdid the ready meals for a few years but now I have gone back to the casseroles with more veg than previously. We aren't great on new ideas (never managed an authentic Chinese or Indian, so buy those and add extra water chestnuts, pineapple etc), but DH has lost all interest in cooking from scratch. It takes him ages to peel a potato or a cooking apple (I still remember Miss Ryan and her aim to get us all to peel a spud with a single "string" of peel - and still do it!) or chop an onion, so I usually end up doing that anyway).

My DDs and GC love coming to me cos my food is well-cooked and wholesome, but fairly plain.

I still do a mean Sunday Roast-type meal but have given up making my own Yorkshires.

All that said, I don't really enjoy cooking but find there is no alternative if you want to eat sensibly.

Boz Sun 12-Jan-25 12:46:09

At 81 I have had enough cooking; 62 year marriage - always cooking for family and now retired OH who is a stranger to the stove. Enough is enough and lack of interest and concentration can lead to cooking mishaps.
If you can afford to, eat out as much as you can arrange or get in ready meals and takeaways. Don't be a martyr.

Athrawes Sun 12-Jan-25 13:13:13

I'm relieved that I'm not on my own when it comes to cooking. I'm finding it boring and tedious and don't feel particularly hungry. That said I've realised I've been very tired lately so - fingers crossed - I hope I can soon get back to 'reality' again and give cooking another whirl.

silverlining48 Sun 12-Jan-25 14:36:29

My dh took over the kitchen about 7/8 years ago. He enjoys it and I don’t, so no problem there but he, our friends and our children forget I did the cooking for nearly 50 years and got no thanks for it. I have done my share. Whats more my dh is a better cook than I am.
If I were on my own I would probably live on toast. Or soup/stew which I still make. The thought of cooking a full meal is just too much to contemplate. Any confidence i had is long gone.

NonGrannyMoll Sun 12-Jan-25 14:42:12

Yes, been there, T-shirt, etc. One way of dealing with it is to make a written list of what I'm cooking and the order in which to do what's necessary to achieve it. My Christmas Dinner worklist this year was a masterpiece of minute-by-minute precision! It didn't stop me from over-microwaving the pudding, though - DH manfully chewed his way through a small portion but seconds were politely declined!

NonGrannyMoll Sun 12-Jan-25 14:43:17

Oh, and I totally forgot the red cabbage. We ate it on Boxing Day, though, so no real harm done...

silverlining48 Sun 12-Jan-25 15:21:43

Oh yes, the other thing I still cook successfully is red cabbage .
It freezes so well too.

Norah Sun 12-Jan-25 15:39:38

silverlining48

Oh yes, the other thing I still cook successfully is red cabbage .
It freezes so well too.

Perhaps ftm420 would find sausage, mas and red cabbage a menu pleasant to accomplish. Always successful, nice practice.