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Not food but wine. Party contribution, took nice wine got cheap plonk

(54 Posts)
Cambsnan Tue 06-May-25 19:52:39

If you take a birthday gift and a wine contribution, is it rude to ask for what you took if what you are given is not to your taste?

RosieandherMaw Wed 07-May-25 08:49:43

NotSpaghetti

BlueBelle I'm not sure it was a party - I assumed Camsnan was at someone's house for a birthday meal (I thought the close family friend type)

I didn't read "party" into it.
I think most of us probably have friends we cook for occasionally to enjoy each other's company.

It does say “party “ in the thread title. hmm

Mollygo Wed 07-May-25 09:47:11

If we’re asked to bring wine, for a meal, we’re usually told what sort-usually to go with the menu. We’ve never sat down to eat immediately on arrival, so it always has time to chill or breathe.
Drinks parties are different.

Doodledog Wed 07-May-25 10:11:14

I do sometimes take a bottle of non-alcoholic wine, as I don't often drink. It's unusual for people to provide it, and I don't want to drink squash or water with my meal.

What tends to happen is that other guests help themselves to my 'wine' so I'm left with nothing to drink after the meal when they are knocking back the booze.

NotSpaghetti Wed 07-May-25 12:05:49

RosieandherMaw - so it does!
grin

Could do better! - I was always told "read the question"

NotSpaghetti Wed 07-May-25 12:08:44

And to whoever chose Malbec - which can be delicious in my opinion, I'd always offer an alternative as so many people seem not to like it.

Bukkie Wed 07-May-25 12:24:15

Cambsnan - I agree with you. We went to a bring a bottle party a few years ago and handed the host 2 bottles of nice red wine. He said, " Thanks, they will be lovely on Christmas Day." He then put them in the understairs cupboard and served us wine that tasted like paint stripper. I thought this was incredibly cheeky and rude. I always ask guests if they want their own wine or are they happy with what we have bought. We don't drink white or rose wine so I don't know if what we have bought is any good or not.

knspol Wed 07-May-25 12:58:35

Always understood never to open a gift of wine at the time given. Serve whatever wine you like and open the gift at another time.
If someone brought me a wine gift and asked for it to be served as an alternative to what I was already serving then I would think it very ill mannered.

OldFrill Wed 07-May-25 13:30:48

Partly depends on your relationship with the host. I've had guests bring wine and asked for it to be opened, if l like them l don't even charge corkage.

Mollygo Wed 07-May-25 13:33:36

OldFrill

Partly depends on your relationship with the host. I've had guests bring wine and asked for it to be opened, if l like them l don't even charge corkage.

No corkage? That’s kind of you.

Depends if it’s a gift or you’ve been asked to bring it. There isn’t really any clarification on here.

PamQS Wed 07-May-25 14:26:11

Yes, I think it would be rude to demand something better than the wine I was being offered, which is, in effect, what the OP is suggesting, I think?

Some family members once brought a case of what they classed as 'good' wine to an anniversary celebration, put it somewhere where they could get at it, and drank it throughout the party! This struck me as horribly bad manners!

cc Wed 07-May-25 14:27:57

We have a friend whose husband is in the wine trade. I've rarely had a decent glass of wine in their house, he used to say something like "this is an interesting little number" and give us some sort of virtually undrinkable liquid. They brought similar bottles when they came to visit us.
When she came to a lunch party we gave with decent wine she tried to drink the place dry. She is now an ex-friend.

cc Wed 07-May-25 14:32:11

NotSpaghetti

And to whoever chose Malbec - which can be delicious in my opinion, I'd always offer an alternative as so many people seem not to like it.

It's strange isn't it, people seem to follow fashions in wine likes and dislikes. People are often rude about sauvignion blanc, some are awful but there are many nice ones, often linked to their price.
Personally I don't like most Pinot Grigot or chardonnay so I'm probably just as bad myself.

Lahlah65 Wed 07-May-25 14:49:56

I'm resigned to getting what I'm given - I know I'm fussy and often end up politely declining a refill. But I have a problem with soft drinks if I am designated driver. I don't like anything too sweet and have a lifelong dislike for Coke or any other cola. And I avoid artificial sweetners as far as possible. So I do try to take my own preferred ones and do ask to be served them. No one ever minds this.

Barbadosbelle Wed 07-May-25 15:21:22

.

Never been to a private 'do' where the hosts have opened their gift bottles of wine. I think that would be a very odd and impolite thing to do. The host would have already opened the reds being offered and have whites ready to serve.

The chances are that the decent bottles might appear on offer at their next soiree and the poorer ones in their weekday Boeuf Bourguignon supper!

Drink what your offered and be grateful fo the invite!
.

NotSpaghetti Wed 07-May-25 15:39:21

cc Pinot Grigot or Chardonnay is my mother-in-law's "regular" white these days , interspersed with a Grenache. These are not my go-to wines either.
We did find a nice Old Vines GSM though.

Polremy Wed 07-May-25 15:45:24

Strange difference but…in France (down south in case that makes any difference) where we lived for a time, it was considered polite to open and share any wine brought by the guests.

Caleo Wed 07-May-25 15:46:44

My guests often bring food to share. However at a formal dinner where wine is provided by the host I 'd not expect guests to be drinking what I brought as a present to the house.

Neither would I be offended if the host shared my gift immediately.

NotSpaghetti Wed 07-May-25 15:47:07

That's interesting Polremy

Everyday's a school day on Gransnet!
🥂

undines Wed 07-May-25 15:51:50

I tend to take two bottles, one as a gift and one for me to drink, on the pretext that I get headaches from some wines - which is absolutely true. More expensive, but more enjoyable.

4allweknow Wed 07-May-25 16:01:58

Not evetyone takes a good quality wine to a party, have seen bottles of plonk being gifted yet tge wine served by the hosts has been much better quality. I'd never ask to have wine I'd taken as a gift.

loopyloo Wed 07-May-25 16:10:21

Interesting! What would you like to be given, at a soiree?

AGAA4 Wed 07-May-25 16:19:22

Once I've handed over the wine to the host as far as I'm concerned it is theirs to do with as they wish.
I would just drink what they offered and not feel aggrieved if it wasn't as nice as the one I brought.

leeds22 Wed 07-May-25 16:52:26

We have friends who only drink non EU wines and bring such to our house. We tend to drink French or Portuguese wine and the husband always asks for his own, I feel like pouring it over his Reform loving head!

AuntieE Wed 07-May-25 17:36:30

If the wine was part of the present, then yes, it would be rude to ask to drink it.

If you were invited on the understanding that the host provided the food, and everyone brought their own drinks, then no, it is not rude to drink the wine or beer you brought, but it is rude to characterize anything served to you as plonk!

mabon1 Wed 07-May-25 17:39:46

Never assume anything at all that's what I practise.