Limerick

An elegant dance is the tango
Its easier than a fandango
You stamp your heels lightly

An elegant dance is the tango
Its easier than a fandango
You stamp your heels lightly
Clench your buttocks tightly

An elegant dance is the tango
Its easier than a fandango
You stamp your heels lightly
Clench your buttocks tightly
And take care that you don't let your man go.

I can't see my way through this fog

I can't see my way through this fog
Lost, the path my hat and the dog

I can't see my way through this fog
Lost, the path my hat and the dog
I'm just going to sit here

I can't see my way through this fog
Lost, the path my hat and the dog
I'm just going to sit here
For a long while, I fear

I can't see my way through this fog
Lost, the path my hat and the dog
I'm just going to sit here
For a long while, I fear
And chat to this friendly green frog

I met a young man from the north

I met a young man from the north
Who lived on Pot Noodles and broth

I met a young man from the north
Who lived on Pot Noodles and broth
He'd lost all his teeth

met a young man from the north
Who lived on Pot Noodles and broth
He'd lost all his teeth
When he got punched by Keith

met a young man from the north
Who lived on Pot Noodles and broth
He'd lost all his teeth
When he got punched by Keith
Who's now doing time for his wrath

Do you think I should go to the dance

Do you think I should go to the dance
In the hope of finding romance

Do you think I should go to the dance
In the hope of finding romance
I'll dress in my best

Do you think I should go to the dance
In the hope of finding romance
I’ll dress in my best
Nylon shorts and string vest

Do you think I should go to the dance
In the hope of finding romance
I’ll dress in my best
Nylon shorts and string vest
That should give me the very best chance

There was an old Druidic crone

There was an old Druidic crone
Who gave good advice from her throne

There was an old Druidic crone
Who gave good advice from her throne
She always advised

There was an old Druidic crone
Who gave good advice from her throne
She always advised
That the magic she prized

There was an old Druidic crone
Who gave good advice from her throne
She always advised
That the magic she prized
Could also be passed on by phone

When Freda was foolish and quite young

When Freda was foolish and quite young
She persisted in walking in cow dung

When Freda was foolish and quite young
She persisted in walking in cow dung
So on one fine day

When Freda was foolish and quite young
She persisted in walking in cow dung
So on one fine day
The smell drove all her friends away

When Freda was foolish and quite young
She persisted in walking in cow dung
So on one fine day
The smell drove all her friends away
But Freda just stuck out her tongue

I once knew a young man called Pete