Limerick

I once knew a young man called Pete
So polite as he offered his seat,

I once knew a young man called Pete
So polite as he offered his seat,
To a woman called Nancy

I once knew a young man called Pete
So polite as he offered his seat,
To a woman called Nancy
Who he thought quite fancy

I once knew a young man called Pete
So polite as he offered his seat,
To a woman called Nancy
Who he thought quite fancy
How charming she said, and how sweet.

I'm tired of my bunions and corns

I'm tired of my bunions and corns
The two on my head are like horns

I'm tired of my bunions and corns
The two on my head are like horns
They ruin my hairdo

I'm tired of my bunions and corns
The two on my head are like horns
They ruin my hairdo
My parting's all askew

I'm tired of my bunions and corns
The two on my head are like horns
They ruin my hairdo
My parting's all askew
Such chaos my head now adorns!

I once knew a girl who ate snails

I once knew a girl who ate snails
She collected them in shiny new pails

I once knew a girl who ate snails
The best ones, she said, came from Wales

I once knew a girl who ate snails
The best ones, she said, came from Wales
She'd cook them with leeks

I once knew a girl who ate snails
The best ones, she said, came from Wales
She'd cook them with leeks
And some little pigs cheeks

I once knew a girl who ate snails
The best ones, she said, came from Wales
She'd cook them with leeks
And some little pigs cheeks
And serve them with curried lambs' tails

My grandmother once danced all night

My grandmother once danced all night
In a frock that was incredibly tight

My grandmother once danced all night
In a frock that was incredibly tight
When she tried to inhale

My grandmother once danced all night
In a frock that was incredibly tight
When she tried to inhale
She was destined to fail

My grandmother once danced all night
In a frock that was incredibly tight
When she tried to inhale
She was destined to fail
With no one aware of her plight

Do you think I could just stay in bed

Do you think I could just stay in bed
I've a terrible pain in my head

Do you think I could just stay in bed
I've got a strange noise in my head

Do you think I could just stay in bed,
Lying on sheets of opulent red

Do you think I could just stay in bed
I've got a strange noise in my head
There's a whirling and whizzing

Do you think I could just stay in bed
I've a terrible pain in my head
It's been pounding all night

?

Do you think I could just stay in bed
I've got a strange noise in my head
There's a whirling and whizzing
That stopped me from zizzing

Do you think I could just stay in bed
I've got a strange noise in my head
There's a whirling and whizzing
That stopped me from zizzing
And made me go giddy instead.

I sit up on Gransnet all night