Limericks - 2

As I was passing by one day
I heard a lady say...
Where are you going my dear?
Please don't venture near
This is where teddy bears come out to play.

These bears are not just cute little pets

These bears are not just cute little pets
It costs such a lot to take to the vets

These bears are not just cute little pets
It costs such a lot to take to the vets
So they self-medicate

These bears are not just cute little pets
It costs such a lot to take to the vets
So they self-medicate
With no thought to their fate

These bears are not just cute little pets
It costs such a lot to take to the vets
So they self-medicate
With no thought to their fate
They might even end up with Tourettes

While Miranda was washing her knickers

While Miranda was washing her knickers
She found a bar of snickers

While Miranda was washing her knickers
She found a bar of snickers
Well, that's ever so strange

While Miranda was washing her knickers
She found a bar of snickers
Well, that's ever so strange
I thought I had mange

While Miranda was washing her knickers
She found a bar of snickers
Well, that's ever so strange
I thought I had mange

But then realised they were the vicars!

There was a little piggy

There was a little piggy
Who did a little jiggy

There was a little piggy
Who did a little jiggy
He wore a red hat

There was a little piggy
Who did a little jiggy
He wore a red hat
As he slept out on his mat

There was a little piggy
Who did a little jiggy
He wore a red hat
With a brim that was flat

There was a little piggy
Who did a little jiggly
He wore a red hat
With a brim that was flat
And behind his ear tucked in his ciggy

Now Brendon’s been given the sack

Now Brendon’s been given the sack
I think Strictly will feel the lack

Now Brendon’s been given the sack
I think Strictly will feel the lack
They'll be all of a dither

Now Brendon’s been given the sack
I think Strictly will feel the lack
They'll be all of a dither
Running hither and thither

Now Brendon’s been given the sack
I think Strictly will feel the lack
They'll be all of a dither
Wondering who will come hither

Now Brendon’s been given the sack
I think Strictly will feel the lack
They'll be all of a dither
Running hither and thither
And taking irate viewers flak

And if Anton is next on their list

And if Anton is next on their list
We might as well all just get pissed

And if Anton is next on their list
We might as well all just get pissed
He's the star of the show

And if Anton is next on their list
We might as well all just get pissed
He's the star of the show
As we all seem to know

And if Anton is next on their list
We might as well all just get pissed
He's the star of the show
As we all seem to know
And he would be terribly missed

Another month’s started today