Limericks - 2

Sadie’s baby was really quite strange
It looked as if it might have mange

Sadie’s baby was really quite strange
It looked as if it might have mange
Her hair was quite sparse

Sadie’s baby was really quite strange
It looked as if it might have mange
Her hair was quite sparse
And as for her arse

Sadie’s baby was really quite strange
It looked as if it might have mange
Her hair was quite sparse
And as for her arse
The stench was enough to derange.

I call him my' current 'husband,

I call him my’ current ‘ husband,
You see I’ve had four beforehand

I call him my’ current ‘ husband,
You see I’ve had four beforehand
If he's not up to scratch

I call him my’ current ‘ husband,
You see I’ve had four beforehand
If he's not up to scratch
He’ll join the last batch

I call him my’ current ‘ husband,
You see I’ve had four beforehand
If he's not up to scratch
He’ll join the last batch
My wish must be his command

Young Susie was so hard to please

Young Susie was so hard to please
To all boys she's a terrible tease

Young Susie was so hard to please
To all boys she's a terrible tease
She shows them her knickers

Young Susie was so hard to please
To all boys she's a terrible tease
She shows them her knickers
And shocks all the vicars

Young Susie was so hard to please
To all boys she's a terrible tease
She shows them her knickers
And shocks all the vicars
But she does have exquisite knees

There was a most fantastic lady

There was a most fantastic lady
Who laiked things so neat and taidy

There was a most fantastic lady
Who laiked things so neat and taidy
But her many possessions

led to a manic obsession
with matters decidedly shadey!

My elderly sister called Lucy

My elderly sister called Lucy
Lives in an enormous hoosey

There was a most fantastic lady
Whose background was slightly shady

My elderly sister called Lucy
Lives in an enormous hoosey
The rooms are so vast

My elderly sister called Lucy
Lives in an enormous hoosey
The rooms are so vast
I feel quite aghast

My elderly sister called Lucy
Lives in an enormous hoosey
The rooms are so vast
I feel quite aghast
She copes by getting boozey!

There was an old woman from Hull

There was an old woman from Hull
In her garden she kept a big bull

There was an old woman from Hull
In her garden she kept a big bull
He's an Aberdeen Angus and gorgeous

There was an old woman from Hull
In her garden she kept a big bull
He's an Aberdeen Angus and gorgeous
His dangly bits are really enormous

There was an old woman from Hull
In her garden she kept a big bull
He's an Aberdeen Angus and gorgeous
His dangly bits are really enormous
His coat used fifty kilos of wool!

My son has just bought a new puppy