Limericks - 3

When all slim,lithe and full of vigour
Having regained our sylph like figure
A new wardrobe is next on the list
Then i will raise a joyful fist
Trusting I never again get any bigger!

Then with my eye I espy ice cream

Then with my eye I espy ice cream
Oh no! not that, I scream

When all slim, lithe and full of vigour
Having regained our sylph like figure
A new wardrobe is next on the list
Then I will raise a joyful fist
And vow never ever to get any bigger

All stripped off and ready to tan

Oops sorry. Will follow on from Panache

Oops again. Meant Moneyboss!

Then with my eye I espy ice cream
Oh no! not that I scream
A 99 it has to be!

Then with my eye I espy ice cream
Oh no! not that I scream
A 99 it has to be!
No strong will-power, me

Then with my eye I espy ice cream
Oh no! not that I scream
A 99 it has to be!
No strong will-power, me
Of thinning down, I can only dream

Let's go break dancing tomorrow night!

Let's go break dancing tomorrow night!
We can dance till the morning light

Let's go break dancing tomorrow night!
We can dance till the morning light
Ready,willing and able I am

Let's go break dancing tomorrow night!
We can dance till the morning light
Ready,willing and able I am
Only in my head though, Dam!!

Let's go break dancing tomorrow night!
We can dance till the morning light
Ready,willing and able I am
Only in my head though, Dam!!
I'd certainly break all my bones alright.

Maybe a waltz would be a gentler dance

Maybe a waltz would be a gentler dance
Or a freestyle glide and prance

Maybe a waltz would be a gentler dance
Or a freestyle glide and prance
I might just be a wallflower and watch

Maybe a waltz would be a gentler dance
Or a freestyle glide and prance
I might just be a wallflower and watch
Looking out for "that" gent`s eye to catch

Maybe a waltz would be a gentler dance
Or a freestyle glide and prance
I might just be a wallflower and watch
Looking out for "that" gent`s eye to catch
But I’m hoping for that chance.

The chickens are eating my plants

The chickens are eating my plants
Despite my continual rants

The chickens are eating my plants
Despite my continual rants
A ready meal in fact

The chickens are eating my plants
Despite my continual rants
A ready meal in fact
It's part of the contract

The chickens are eating my plants
Despite my continual rants
A ready meal in fact
It's part of the contract
I think it's really pants!

There was a tv talent show

There was a tv talent show
For some it was a tale of woe

There was a tv talent show
For some it was a tale of woe
They tried their best

There was a tv talent show
For some it was a tale of woe
They tried their best
I'm their celebrity quest

There was a tv talent show
For some it was a tale of woe
They tried their best
I'm their celebrity quest
But often they got four NO's!!!

I heard thunder late last night