Limericks - 3

My son has just bought a new puppy
So now he has a new buddy

My son has just bought a new puppy
So now he has a new buddy
They both drive me mad

My son has just bought a new puppy
So now he has a new buddy
They both drive me mad
But now he's not sad

My son has just bought a new puppy
So now he has a new buddy
They both drive me mad
But now he's not sad
Though I'd rather he'd bought a guppy.

The cat's in a mad frame of mind

The cat's in a mad frame of mind
I'm fearful she may have gone blind

The cat's in a mad frame of mind
I'm fearful she may have gone blind
She jumped in the fridge

The cat’s in a mad frame of mind
I’m fearful she may have gone blind
She jumped in the fridge,
Whacked her nose on the bridge

The cat’s in a mad frame of mind
I’m fearful she may have gone blind
She jumped in the fridge,
Whacked her nose on the bridge
And has managed to burn her behind

I’m loving the lengthening days

I'm loving the lengthening days
As I greatly enjoy to gaze

I'm loving the lengthening days
As I greatly enjoy to gaze
On the first peeping flowers

I'm loving the lengthening days
As I greatly enjoy to gaze
On the first peeping flowers
Just before the April showers

I’m loving the lengthening day’s
As I greatly enjoy to gaze
On the first peeping flowers
Just before the April showers
And the sun shining through a soft haze

I think that I might bake a cake

I think that I might bake a cake
I wonder how long it will take

I think that I might bake a cake
I wonder how long it will take
In my super new cooker

I think that I might bake a cake
I wonder how long it will take
In my super new cooker
Which is such a good looker

I think that I might bake a cake
I wonder how long it will take
In my super new cooker
Which is such a good looker
It will be such a pleasure to make!

But not one morsel will pass my lips

But not one morsel will pass my lips
A girl’s got to think of her hips

But not one morsel will pass my lips
A girl’s got to think of her hips
Her legs and her tum and her arms and her bum

Oops! Think I did 2 lines in one there!

MissA

But not one morsel will pass my lips
A girl’s got to think of her hips
Her legs and her tum
and her arms and her bum
She also must lay off the chips!

My figure is not what it was

My figure is not what it was
Too much has been passed through my jaws

My figure is not what it was
Too much has been passed through my jaws
I had better cut down

My figure is not what it was
Too much has been passed through my jaws
I had better cut down
On the lunches in town