LIMERICKS 5

There was an old codger with piles
Who found a cure in some very old files
A large bar of soap
Attached to a rope

There was an old codger with piles
Who found a cure in some very old files
A large bar of soap
Attached to a rope
Meant he ended his day with big smiles!

Autumn mellowness spreads across our land

There was an old codger with piles
Who found a cure in some very old files
A large bar of soap
Attached to a rope
Made him slip and slide for miles.

My blue rowing boat has red rowlocks

My blue rowing boat has red rowlocks
And holes caused by hitting some sharp rocks

My blue rowing boat has red rowlocks
And holes caused by hitting some sharp rocks
I pray we don't sink

My blue rowing boat has red rowlocks
And holes caused by hitting some sharp rocks
I pray we don't sink
But somehow I think

My blue rowing boat has red rowlocks
And holes caused by hitting some sharp rocks
I pray we don't sink
But somehow I think
Our navigation is b___ocks?

Some language is out of the gutter

Some language is out of the gutter
And causes my lashes to flutter

Some language is out of the gutter
And causes my lashes to flutter
I sigh and I blush

Some language is out of the gutter
and causes my lashes to flutter
I sigh and I blush.
Then beg them to Shush

Some language is out of the gutter
and causes my lashes to flutter
I sigh and I blush.
Then beg them to Shush
"There are better adjectives, "I mutter.

There was a young laddie from Preston

There was a young laddie from Preston
Who was always asking a question

There was a young laddie from Preston
Who was always asking a question,
It was "why?", "when?" or "how?",

There was a young laddie from Preston
Who was always asking a question,
It was "why?", "when?" or "how?",
Or "What happens now?"

There was a young laddie from Preston
Who was always asking a question,
It was "why?", "when?" or "how?",
Or "What happens now?"
His questions give me indigestion!

I prefer his young cousin from Bristol

I prefer his young cousin from Bristol,
But don't let him near your best crystal

I prefer his young cousin from Bristol,
But don't let him near your best crystal
With buttery fingers

I prefer his young cousin from Bristol,
But don't let him near your best crystal
With buttery fingers
That always lingers

I prefer his young cousin from Bristol,
But don't let him near your best crystal
With buttery fingers
That always lingers,
I'll threaten him with my toy pistol!

Sunshine here, on the first of October

Sunshine here, on the first of October
Maybe the last day of using the mower!!

Sunshine here, on the first of October
Maybe the last day of using the mower!!
For the lucky few indeed,

Sunshine here, on the first of October
Maybe the last day of using the mower!!
For the lucky few indeed,
Hopefully not a single weed

Summer here on the first of October
Maybe the last day of using the mower
For the lucky few indeed
hopefully not single weed
Just hues of red gold and ochre.

A pretty princess from Windsor

A pretty princess from Windsor
Her Wedding will surely not bore