LIMERICKS 5

A very strange lady from Leeds
Insisting on driving high speeds
Took a corner so fast

A very strange lady from Leeds
Insisting on driving high speeds
Took a corner so fast
That she yelled "Dam and Blast"!

A very strange lady from Leeds
Insisting on driving high speeds
Took a corner so fast
That she yelled "Dam and Blast"!
That really was not shown on the deeds!

A yellow coupe quickly sped to her aid

I'll dig you out with my spade

A yellow coupe quickly sped to her aid
I'll dig you out with my spade
Said a hunky young man

A yellow coupe quickly sped to her aid
I'll dig you out with my spade
Said a hunky young man
Checking out her golden tan!

A yellow coupe quickly sped to her aid
I'll dig you out with my spade
Said a hunky young man
Checking out her golden tan!
'Sunkissed brown' (number 2) was her shade.

"I wonder" he said "if you'd like...."

I wonder" he said "if you'd like...."
A spin on my lovely new bike

I wonder" he said "if you'd like...."
A spin on my lovely new bike
“In your dreams”! she replied

I wonder" he said "if you'd like...."
A spin on my lovely new bike
“In your dreams”! she replied
"I'm a newly wed bride!"

I wonder" he said "if you'd like...."
A spin on my lovely new bike
“In your dreams”! she replied
"I'm a newly wed bride!"
"In fact I`d much prefer to hike!"

True to her word she took to the highway

"I wonder", he said "if you'd like
A spin on my lovely new bike?"
"In your dreams!" she replied
"I'm a newly wed bride!"
"Stop being a damn cheeky Tyke!"

"Oh no, there are hairs on my chin"

Oh no, there are hairs on my chin"
So long I could get curlers in!

Oh no, there are hairs on my chin"
So long I could get curlers in!
Get the mirror and i'll pluck

Oh no there are hairs on my chin
So long I could get curlers in!
Get the mirror and I'll pluck
But I'm out of luck

Oh no there are hairs on my chin
So long I could get curlers in!
Get the mirror and I'll pluck
But I'm out of luck
So I'll grow a beard and call myself Kevin!

It's approaching the date for the Brexit

It's approaching the date for the Brexit
What will be on t'other side of the exit?

It's approaching the date for the Brexit
What will be on t'other side of the exit?
Poor Theresa seems stuck

That's very tempting beigecardigans, but I'll leave it for someone else.

It's approaching the date for the Brexit
What will be on t'other side of the exit?
Poor Theresa seems stuck

I’m chicken too Farnorth

t's approaching the date for the Brexit
What will be on t'other side of the exit?
Poor Theresa seems stuck
They’re all running amok

It's approaching the date for Brexit
What will be on t'other side of the exit?
Poor Theresa seems stuck
They're all running amok
Damnation, J-C Juncker has hexed it.

That Jean-Claude Juncker's a wily old charmer

That Jean-Claude Juncker's a wily old charmer
It's time he retired and became a pig farmer

That Jean-Claude Juncker's a wily old charmer
It's time he retired and became a pig farmer
He knows about troughs and snouts

That Jean-Claude Juncker's a wily old charmer
It's time he retired and became a pig farmer
He knows about troughs and snouts
Though like `em all is full of doubts

That Jean-Claude Juncker's a wily old charmer
It's time he retired and became a pig farmer
He knows about troughs and snouts
Though like `em all is full of doubts
As for May, he’s done everything to harm ‘er