LIMERICKS 6

But Grandpa, completely unknowing
Carried on and the volume kept growing
Til Grandma, with venom,
Cut up his new denim

But Grandpa, completely unknowing
Carried on and the volume kept growing
Till Grandma, with venom,
Cut up his new denim
And now they need lots of sewing

OOPS!

There`s a man who was a bus driver

There`s a man who was a bus driver
And he was a bit of a skivver

There`s a man who was a bus driver
And he was a bit of a skivver
While they waited in line

There's a man who was a busdriver
And he was a bit of a skiver
Whilst they waited in line
In the canteen to dine

There`s a man who was a bus driver
And he was a bit of a skivver
While they waited in line
He was known to decline

There's a man who was a busdriver
And he was a bit of a skiver
Whilst they waited in line
In the canteen to dine
He would say "Can you lend me a fiver?".

My auntie has just had a spray tan

My auntie just had a spray tan
Ooh look at you said my Uncle Dan

My auntie just had a spray tan
Ooh look at you said my Uncle Dan
Not a white bit in sight

My auntie just had a spray tan
Ooh look at you said my Uncle Dan
Not a white bit in sight
In fact, you look a fright

My auntie just had a spray tan
Ooh look at you said my Uncle Dan
Not a white bit in sight
In fact, you look a fright
And your beauty’s just gone down the pan

Uncle Dan is a miserable sort

Uncle Dan is a miserable sort
He'd rather a gill than a quart

Uncle Dan is a miserable sort
He'd rather a gill than a quart
So Auntie said "Hey!"

Uncle Dan is a miserable sort
He'd rather a gill than a quart
So Auntie said "Hey!
It's your turn to pay!"

Uncle Dan is a miserable sort
He'd rather a gill than a quart
So Auntie said "Hey"
It's your turn to pay
In which case I'll have a double Port!

New start,please Oavg

I was introduced to a lady called Mary

Who was always a little bit lairy

I was introduced to a lady called Mary
Who was always a little bit lairy
She could prop up a bar

I was introduced to a lady called Mary
Who was always a little bit lairy
She could prop up a bar
And down many a jar

I was introduced to a lady called Mary
Who was always a little bit lairy
She could prop up a bar
And down many a jar
And of her I began to feel wary

Today I learnt to fly birds of prey

Today I learnt to fly birds of prey
But it's kinder to let them fly away

Today I learnt to fly birds of prey
But it's kinder to let them fly away
Through the sky they would hover

Today I learnt to fly birds of prey
But it's kinder to let them fly away
Through the sky they would hover
With crows giving them 'bovver'