Limericks 6

The rain is coming through my roof
I tried to soak it up with my loof
But it was flowing too fast
drat, blimey and blast!

The rain is coming through my roof
I tried to soak it up with my loof
But it was flowing too fast
drat, blimey and blast!
Neighbours won't help, they're too aloof.

So I've sent for a roofer from Bristol

So I've sent for a roofer from Bristol
He tells me they all call him Will

So I've sent for a roofer from Bristol
He tells me they all call him Will
Now he’s up on the tiles

So I've sent for a roofer from Bristol
He tells me that all call him Will
Now he's up on the tiles
He'd travelled miles

So I've sent for a roofer from Bristol
He tells me that all call him Will
Now he's up on the tiles
He'd travelled miles
Seems he’s wanted as far away as Brazil

I’m feeling sorry for my old man

I’m feeling sorry for my old man
He got knocked over by an ice cream van

I’m feeling sorry for my old man
He got knocked over by an ice cream vanI
He fell on his cornet

I’m feeling sorry for my old man
He got knocked over by an ice cream van
He fell on his cornet
And shouted "that's torn it"

I'm feeling sorry for my old man
He got knocked over by an ice cream van
He fell on his cornet
And shouted "that`s torn it"
My day isn`t going to plan

A film star has been to our town

A film star has been to our town
With autograph books, we ran down

A film star has been to our town
With autograph books, we ran down
We begged for our 'selfies'

A film star has been to our town
With autograph books, we ran down
We begged for our selfies
He looked so damned healthy

A film star has been to our town
With autograph books, we ran down
We begged for our selfies
He looked so damned healthy
I then realised he was the clown.

Oh why can't I fall asleep

Oh why can't I fall asleep
I'm sick of the sight of these sheep

Oh why can't I fall asleep
I'm sick of the sight of these sheep
Four hours I've had

Oh why can't I fall asleep
I'm sick of the sight of these sheep
Four hours I've had
For some, that's not bad

Oh why can't I fall asleep
I'm sick of the sight of these sheep
Four hours I've had
For some, that's not bad
But seriously, I'm so tired I could weep

Just looked out of the window and saw the sun

Just looked out of the window and saw the sun
While eating a homemade bun

Just looked out of the window and saw the sun
While eating a homemade bun
Quick! On with the sun dress

Just looked out of the window and saw the sun
While eating a homemade bun
Quick! On with the sun dress
Slap sun-cream on, what a mess

Just looked out of the window and saw the sun
While eating a homemade bun
Quick! On with the sun dress
Slap sun-cream on, what a mess
I so hope the summer at last has begun

There once was a dragon and he was so shy

There once was a dragon and he was so shy
And no one knew why
But fire he blew
And everyone knew

Sorry this is what I meant to write!

There once was a dragon and he was so shy
And no one knew why
But fire he blew
And everyone flew
To have him warm up their pies!

There once was a man called Iscariot