Limericks 8

The tiresome old man from Tolpuddle
Got himself into a muddle
No shoes on his feet
Toes, red as a beet

The tiresome old man from Tolpuddle
Got himself into a muddle
No shoes on his feet
Toes, red as a beet
No wonder he`s feeling befuddled

Have you ever tried bathing a cat?

Have you ever tried bathing a cat?
Now why would I want to do that?

Have you ever tried bathing a cat?
Now why would I want to do that?
He was covered in mud

Have you ever tried bathing a cat?
Now why would I want to do that?
He was covered in mud
Didn`t look very good,

Have you ever tried bathing a cat?
Now why would I want to do that?
He was covered in mud
Didn`t look very good,
No chance of him catching a rat.

A barging holiday certainly looks good

A barging holiday certainly looks good
With pub stops for lots of good food

A barging holiday certainly looks good
With pub stops for lots of good food
But the locks are hard work

A barging holiday certainly looks good
With pub stops for lots of good food
But the locks are hard work
Though a picturesque quirk

The tiresome old man from Tolpuddle
Got himself into a muddle
No shoes on his feet
Poor old Hammett was beat

Sorry , that one is finished

A barging holiday certainly looks good
With pub stops for lots of good food
But the locks are hard work
Though a picturesque quirk

A barging holiday certainly looks good
With pub stops for lots of good food
But the locks are hard work
Though a picturesque quirk
And let's hope there's no leak in the wood.

Is Jacob Rees Mogg being pedantic?

Is Jacob Rees Mogg being pedantic?
His leanings are certainly semantic

Is Jacob Rees Mogg being pedantic?
His leanings are certainly semantic
Does he use the Oxford comma?

Is Jacob Rees-Mogg being pedantic?
His leanings are certainly semantic
Does he use the Oxford comma?
Was he taught by his momma?

Is Jacob Rees Mogg being pedantic?
His leanings are certainly semantic
Does he use the Oxford comma?
With the finesse of a bomber

Sorry Lovesbeigecardigans!

Is Jacob Rees-Mogg being pedantic?
His leanings are certainly semantic
Does he use the Oxford comma?
Was he taught by his momma?
To have an ego that's truly gigantic

A politician who comes from Gravesend

A politician who comes from Gravesend
Didn't care how much he might spend

A politician who comes from Gravesend
Didn't care how much he might spend
After all it’s our money

A politician who comes from Gravesend
Didn't care how much he might spend
After all it’s our money
His outlook was sunny

A politician who comes from Gravesend
Didn`t care how much he might spend
After all it`s our money
His outlook was sunny
And he does have a great big stipend

The people with lots of cash

The people with lots of cash
Often like to make a big splash

The people with lots of cash
Often like to make a big splash
But this just makes them wet

The people with lots of cash
Often like to make a big splash
But this just makes them wet
And lest they forget,

The people with lots of cash
Often like to make a big splash
But this just makes them wet
And lest they forget,
There's much more to life than their stash.

There once was a man on a bike