Limericks 8

When day is changing to night
That north wind can have quite a bite
So put on a jumper
You may look plumper
Especially now you've lost height!

It's true that I'm getting shorter

It's true that I'm getting shorter
I'm now six inches shorter than my daughter

It's true that I'm getting shorter
I'm now six inches shorter than my daughter
My coat hangs like a rag

It's true that I'm getting shorter
I'm now six inches shorter than my daughter
My coat hangs like a rag
Both my tits sag

It's true that I'm getting shorter
I'm now six inches shorter than my daughter
My coat hangs like a rag
And that’s the snag

It's true that I'm getting shorter
I'm now six inches shorter than my daughter
My coat hangs like a rag
And that’s the snag
If only my waist was a bit tauter.

I looked up at the ceiling today

I looked up at the ceiling today
Was on my back in the hey

I looked up at the ceiling today
Was on my back in the hey (hay?)
The kids had such fun

I looked up at the ceiling today
Was on my back in the hey (hay?)
The kids had such fun
In the hay and the sun

I looked up at the ceiling today
Was on my back in the hey (hay?)
The kids had such fun
In the hay and the sun
So innocently enjoying their play

The sunshine is making me lazy

The sunshine is making me lazy
Have you noticed the air is hazy?

The sunshine is making me lazy
My husband is driving me crazy

The sunshine is making me lazy
Have you noticed the air is hazy?
There's going to be rain

The sunshine is making me lazy
My husband is driving me crazy
He moans and he groans

The sunshine is making me lazy
Have you noticed the air is hazy?
There's going to be rain
And so I'll refrain

The sunshine is making me lazy
Have you noticed the air is hazy?
There's going to be rain
And so I'll refrain
From visiting mum and aunt daisy

On t.v. tonight I saw a young man

On t.v. tonight I saw a young man
A singer of sorts, with a weird-looking tan

On t.v. tonight I saw a young man
Tenderly helping his elderly gran

Ooop s Bella

On t.v. tonight I saw a young man
A singer of sorts, with a weird-looking tan
He was entertaining

On t.v. tonight I saw a young man
A singer of sorts, with a weird-looking tan
He was entertaining
When he was explaining

On t.v. tonight I saw a young man
A singer of sorts, with a weird-looking tan
He was entertaining
When he was explaining
The best way to make a nice flan

I need to just go down the High Street

I need to just go down the High Street
But I have the arthritis in both feet

I need to just go down the High Street
But I have the arthritis in both feet
My knees are clicking

I need to just go down the High Street
But I have the arthritis in both feet
My knees are clicking
Though my heart’s still ticking

I need to go just down the street
But I have arthritis in both feet
My knees are clicking
Though my heart's still ticking
If needs be, I'll find me a seat.

I'm wearing bikini and high heels