Limericks 8

My weird neighbour has strange things in his yard
I dare not ask him, he's a card

My weird neighbour has strange things in his yard
I dare not ask him, he's a card
But a moose and a rocket?

My weird neighbour has strange things in his yard
I dare not ask him, he's a card
But a moose and a rocket?
We'd better not mock it

My weird neighbour has strange things in his yard
I dare not ask him, he's a card
But a moose and a rocket?
We'd better not mock it,
'cos the vicar holds him in high regard.

They say he's engaged in some kind of research

They say he's engaged in some kind of research
I saw him carrying a few branches of birch

There's someone lurking in here
He’s a bit of a wrong’un I fear

Wrong page, apologies!

They say he’s engaged in some kind of research
I saw him carrying a few branches of birch

They say he’s engaged in some kind of research
I saw him carrying a few branches of birch
And an old steering wheel

They say he’s engaged in some kind of research
I saw him carrying a few branches of birch
And an old steering wheel
His dog at his heel

They say he’s engaged in some kind of research
I saw him carrying a few branches of birch
And an old steering wheel
And an orange peel

How's that for co-incidence?

They say he’s engaged in some kind of research
I saw him carrying a few branches of birch
And an old steering wheel
His dog at his heel
And an old fashioned bird cage with perch

I got my bike ready today

I got my bike ready today
Planning to cycle to Whitley Bay

I got my bike ready today
Planning to cycle to Whitley Bay
I hope I can do it

I got my bike ready today
Planning to cycle to Whitley Bay
I hope I can do it
Though I may well eschew it

I got my bike ready today
Planning to cycle to Whitley Bay
I hope I can do it
Though I may well eschew it
And when I get there I might stay.

The vicker came round to my house

The vicker came round to my house
With him came a tipsy brown mouse

The vicker came round to my house
With him came a tipsy brown mouse
He fumbled and stumbled

The vicker came round to my house
With him came a tipsy brown mouse
He fumbled and stumbled
Then mumbled and grumbled

The vicker came round to my house
With him came a tipsy brown mouse
He fumbled and stumbled
Then mumbled and grumbled
AIBU to grouse?

It has rained, without cease, for 3 days

It has rained, without cease, for 3 days
I'm totally tired of this phase

It has rained, without cease, for 3 days
I'm totally tired of this phase
The sunscreen is dusty

It has rained, without cease, for 3 days
I'm totally tired of this phase
The sunscreen is dusty
My hip joints are rusty

It has rained, without cease, for 3 days
I'm totally tired of this phase
The sunscreen is dusty
My hip joints are rusty
Just bring out the Pimms and forget about rays

I dreamt that a walrus had sat on my car

I dreamt that a walrus had sat on my car
His whiskers were knitted in the shape of a star