Limericks 10

My old man says he'll take up ballet
He's bought tights that are rather risque
The tutu he chose
So tight were the hose
I'm sure they are right up his alley.

A timid young man said "I'm nervous"

A timid young man said "I'm nervous"
Tomorrow is our wedding service

I like to move around the house
And squeak all day like a mouse
Find bits of cheese to nibble and chew
So happy days from me to you!

Back to our limerick

A timid young man said "I'm nervous"
Tomorrow is our wedding service

A timid young man said "I`m nervous"
Tomorrow is our wedding service
I`ll promise to be true

A timid young man said "I`m nervous"
Tomorrow is our wedding service
I`ll promise to be true
And never make you blue

A timid young man said "I`m nervous"
Tomorrow is our wedding service
I`ll promise to be true
And never make you blue
As witnessed by all who observe us

A daring young man from Gornal

A daring young man from Gornal
Climbed up the peak of Mount Allen

A daring young man from Gornal
Climbed up the peak of Mount Allen
With no safely rope

A daring young man from Gornal
Climbed up the peak of Mount Allen
With no safely rope
He had no hope

A daring young man from Gornal
Climbed up the peak of Mount Allen
With no safely rope
He had no hope,
But he lived to publish a journal.

I'd like to climb Kilimanjaro

I'd like to climb Kilimanjaro
May need to be wheeled in a barrow

I'd like to climb Kilimanjaro
May need to be wheeled in a barrow
With plenty of choc

I'd like to climb Kilimanjaro
May need to be wheeled in a barrow
With plenty of choc
I'd scale that big rock

I'd like to climb Kilimanjaro
May need to be wheeled in a barrow
With plenty of choc
I'd scale that big rock
Even if I'm chilled to the marrow!.

I've just say down to watch Bakeoff

I've just sat down to watch Bakeoff
My baking skills are truly a write-off

I've just sat down to watch Bakeoff
My baking skills are truly a write-off
I've burnt every bun

I've just sat down to watch Bakeoff
My baking skills are truly a write-off
I've burnt every bun
That's it, I'm done

I've just sat down to watch Bake Off
My baking skills are truly a write-off
I've burnt every bun
That's it, I'm done
So cocktails instead I'll quaff.

But maybe I shouldn't despair

But maybe I shouldn't despair
I can make meals out of thin air

But maybe I shouldn't despair
I can make meals out of thin air
A tin of this and

But maybe I shouldn't despair
I can make meals out of thin air
A tin of this and
A wave of my wand

But maybe I shouldn't despair
I can make meals out of thin air
A tin of this and
A wave of my wand
It'll be a meal fit for Tony Blair.

Moving away rom the subject of food

Moving away from the subject of food,
Kids? Let me tell you about my brood

Moving away from the subject of food
Kids? let me tell you about my brood
I have two girls and a boy