Limericks 10

I need a new mac and umbrella
"In pink" says my good friend Louella

I need a new mac and umbrella
"In pink" says my good friend Louella
Couldn't find one

I need a new mac and umbrella
"In pink" says my good friend Louella
Couldn't find one,
Had a sally lunn

I need a new mac and umbrella
"In pink" says my good friend Louella
Couldn't find one,
Had a sally lunn
Couldn't find a good umbrella seller

And gum boots are right out of fashion

And gum boots are right out of fashion
Unless the outdoors is your passion

And gum boots are right out of fashion
Unless the outdoors is your passion
You can slip and slide in the mud

And gum boots are right out of fashion
Unless the outdoors is your passion
You can slip and slide in the mud
Land on your back with a thud

And gum boots are right out of fashion
Unless the outdoors is your passion
You can slip and slide in the mud
Land on your back with a thud
So don't rely on DH for any compassion.

Latest fashion, I hear, are shoulder pads!

Latest fashion, I hear, are shoulder pads!
I much prefer broad shoulders on lads

Latest fashion, I hear, are shoulder pads!
I much prefer broad shoulders on lads
They can carry you home

Latest fashion, I hear, are shoulder pads!
I much prefer broad shoulders on lads
They can carry you home
Like my lad Jerome

Latest fashion, I hear, are shoulder pads!
I much prefer broad shoulders on lads
They can carry you home
Like my lad Jerome
Who's so different from the other cads.

My friend Agnetha is so well-endowed

My friend Agnetha is so well-endowed
Of her assets she’s certainly proud

My friend Agnetha is so well-endowed
Of her assets she’s certainly proud
Embonpoint to the fore

My friend Agnetha is so well-endowed
Of her assets she’s certainly proud
Embonpoint to the fore
The men swoon, 'je t'adore' !

My friend Agnetha is so well-endowed
Of her assets she’s certainly proud
Embonpoint to the fore
The men swoon, 'je t'adore' !
As like a galleon she sails through the crowd.

But her treasures are for one lucky fellow

But her treasures are for one lucky fellow
In the orchestra, he's the one with the cello

But her treasures are for one lucky fellow
In the orchestra, he's the one with the cello
He caresses the strings

But her treasures are for one lucky fellow
In the orchestra, he's the one with the cello
He caresses the strings
Her heart has wings

and no one is violent

But her treasures are for one lucky fellow
In the orchestra, he's the one with the cello
He caresses the strings
Her heart has wings
And she trembles like a great bowl of jello!

But tonight she will grab his attention

But tonight she will grab his attention
But just how I don’t like to mention

But tonight she will grab his attention
But just how I don’t like to mention
Suffice it to say

But tonight she will grab his attention
But just how I don’t like to mention
Suffice it to say
It did make his day

But tonight she will grab his attention
But just how I don’t like to mention
Suffice it to say
It did make his day
Necessity is the mother of invention!

It occurred to me this morning